I don’t know if I should forgive Xiao Mengxin. I might forgive her, but not now.
Immediately afterwards, I made a request to go home. After getting in the car, Xiao Qilei took us to the gate of the community. Maybe we were tired from playing, but no one spoke on the way.
When we got off the bus, Xiao Mengxin looked at me again and asked, "Xiao An, am I really not allowed to go home with you tomorrow?"
Xiao Qilei looked at his sister in surprise when he heard this, then looked at me and asked, "Xiao An, you want to go back tomorrow? Why are you in such a hurry? There are still many places I haven't taken you to play."
"Next time." I smiled and said, "Let's talk about it next time I come."
I looked at Xiao Mengxin again and said, "You should stay in the big city, our small town can't accommodate you."
When Xiao Mengxin heard this, she lowered her eyes for a moment with dull eyes, then raised her head and said, "Then I will see you off tomorrow. Also, when I feel better, I will go and see you."
Xiao Qilei sighed deeply after hearing this, her face stiffened, maybe she was dissatisfied with her sister's weakness and my tough attitude.
"Let's talk about it later." I said coldly, then turned around and walked towards the community.
"Qi Lei, let's go back first." After the eldest sister finished speaking, she ran towards me and heard the sound of a car driving away behind her.
The eldest sister quickly hugged my arm and asked, "Xiao An, how are you and Meng Xin? I see she is very sad, you..."
"It's okay, I just kept giving her the cold shoulder. She hoped that I could give her a chance, but I refused." I said indifferently.
"Brother, you are really good. You are definitely the first man to make Xiao Mengxin so miserable." After the eldest sister finished speaking, she asked, "Then what are you going to do? Do you really not want to be with Xiao Mengxin in the future? Also, you Aren’t you afraid that she might be with another man?”
I paused and said with a cold gaze: "She can't escape my grasp, and she dares to be with other men, otherwise..."
I didn't say the next words, but the cold words frightened the eldest sister.
The eldest sister didn’t dwell on our topic anymore. She asked me if I really wanted to leave tomorrow or something, and advised me to play for a few more days.
I said I didn't want to play any more, which was pretty much it. The main reason was that I was anxious to go back and find out about He Huanhuan.
The eldest sister didn't force it, and then said she would go see my eldest brother tomorrow morning. When it came to my eldest brother, their boss was really stingy.
Originally, when I came to Hualian City this time, my eldest brother wanted to ask for leave to play with us, but the boss refused to give me leave, saying that it was almost the end of the year and he was busy.
After returning home, I arranged my schedule for tomorrow. I was going to see my elder brother in the morning, and then I took the 1:00 pm bus home and informed my grandma.
Grandma has no objection. For her, it is more comfortable to stay in the countryside than in the city.
After dinner, the eldest sister was on the phone with someone she couldn't tell, having a lot of fun. I went back to the room to meditate, but I still couldn't get into samadhi well.
Xiao Mengxin's tearful cheeks always floated back and forth in my mind, causing me to feel very depressed.
In fact, I sat on the rocks with her at the beach.
I really wanted to forgive her and be with her, but there were two reasons why I rejected her. First, I couldn't swallow this breath, and the resentment of being hurt had not dissipated, so I was unwilling to forgive her so easily.
But this is not important. The most important thing is that Zen has reminded me more than once that the purpose of our meeting is not love, but the practice of separation from love and desire.
Although there is someone you love the most, you have to restrain yourself from being with that person. Although it is painful, this is the way to practice the practice of cutting off lust.
When I am trained to the point where I no longer have the slightest thought of being together with Xiao Mengxin, I will be able to completely cut off my lust and lay a solid foundation for my future escape from reincarnation.
In addition, I have seriously thought about it, and I feel that I cannot rely too much on feelings.
Although love can make people extremely happy, it is also the greatest weakness and weakest point of human beings.
When the dreamy bubble of love bursts, even a strong man will become very unbearable, turning from a seven-foot man into a pitiful and crying slug.
This is the phenomenon of society.
Therefore, I don't want to be bound by love, I want to become strong, and I am also very afraid that once I agree to be with Xiao Mengxin, I will sink deeper and be hurt a lot again.
Although my heart still hurts from time to time, the compulsive thought of missing Xiao Mengxin tortures me like a person dying of thirst in the desert.
However, I still have to persist in enduring it, at least for now, and we will see how it develops later.
Around nine o'clock, I went to bed.
I had two dreams tonight. One was a dream in which Xiao Mengxin burst into tears and rolled on the bed holding her heart in pain. This caused me to wake up from the pain. When I woke up, there were tears of heartache remaining in the corners of my eyes.
But soon I whispered coldly, "Haha, Xiao Mengxin, you too have today, try the pain of having your heart torn apart, and enjoy the torment of missing me but not being able to be with me."
Immediately afterwards, I continued to sleep, and the second dream actually dreamed of my grandma. What made me feel very strange was that the dream scene was very weird and terrifying.
There was gray mist all around, and there were many huge black chains hanging from the sky, making a clanging sound of gold and iron as they swayed.
Deep in the mist, black shadows occasionally flashed past, and heart-rending howls could be heard.
Just when I was a little scared.
Suddenly, an old lady coughed from behind, "Cough, cough, cough..."
I quickly looked back and saw a familiar rickety voice in the mist.
"Grandma, grandma?" I widened my eyes and couldn't believe it.
Although I didn't see my grandma's face, I was extremely sure that the old man in the mist was definitely my grandma, not to mention the familiar coughing sound.
"Grandma." I didn't know why grandma appeared here, so I ran forward quickly, but grandma slowly walked deeper into the mist.
"Grandma, grandma!" I shouted, and I chased anxiously as if the blood in my heart had been drained, but no matter how hard I chased, I couldn't catch up.
Grandma always kept a close distance from me, and then, in my fearful eyes, she gradually disappeared into the depths of the mist.
"Grandma!" I yelled, suddenly waking up, and beads of sweat appeared on my forehead.
I took a deep breath and quickly looked around. The room was filled with cool silver moonlight, beautiful and desolate.
Fortunately, it was a dream, but how could I dream such a strange dream?
Why did grandma leave me?
This made me feel panicked. It couldn't be a bad reminder.
I prayed that nothing would happen to my grandma, and looked at the time. It was around three in the morning. After I lay down, I fell asleep again soon.
The early morning sun shines into the house, and the new day drives away the footprints of the old.
After breakfast.
I took a taxi with my eldest sister and headed to my aunt's house. Gongsun Qingtian and Tianqiang were not at home, and I didn't know what they were doing.
After a brief tidying up, my aunt drove us in a Buick to where my eldest brother worked.
The location where he works is also in a prosperous area, a commercial pedestrian street with dense crowds.
After arriving at the place, I was shocked by where my eldest brother worked.
The barber shop where my eldest brother works is actually two stories high, very high-end, and there are two beautiful girls standing at the door.
After entering, I observed that the first floor area is about 300 square meters, with more than 30 chairs.
Business was booming, more than half of the customers were here, and the roaring sound of the hair dryer kept making, but luckily it was covered up by the loud music.
It's really busy. No wonder my eldest brother can't take time off. Every hairstylist who is busy is also very fashionable and wears very avant-garde clothes.
I think it is indeed an industry leading the forefront of fashion.
The receptionist politely asked us whether we had a haircut or a perm.
The stylists stared longingly at our hair.
"We are here to find Zhao Dongming." The eldest sister smiled politely.
"Zhao Dongming?" The welcoming girl was stunned, then looked at the stairs leading to the second floor and said, "He is busy on the second floor."
When the hairstylists heard that we were here to find someone, they immediately lost interest and went about their own business.
"Okay, thank you." After the eldest sister said that, she helped grandma walk to the second floor.
I followed closely behind, but my aunt didn't come in and was walking on the pedestrian street outside.
As a result, as soon as I reached the second floor, I saw a man wearing a white shirt, black trousers, and a beret not far away talking to a woman in her fifties who was sitting on a chair with perms on her hair. .
"Sister Wu, let me tell you, didn't you spend more than 800 on your perm today? That's exactly half of a two thousand membership card. Two thousand get one thousand free. After spending this way, you still have more than two thousand left in your card. , very suitable..."
The eldest brother introduced the membership card with spittle, which made me feel very funny, but I was also quite surprised by the high cost of this barber shop.
When I was downstairs, I learned that the starting price for a haircut is fifty. I was curious about the price of a hair perm when I came up and found out that it was more than eight hundred.
In the best barber shop in our town, the cost of a haircut is only twenty, and the best perm is over one hundred, but here it turns out to be over eight hundred.
Moreover, my eldest sister actually recommended that woman to apply for a membership card worth RMB 2,000. It is so expensive. Can the other party apply for it?
Just when I was doubting.
The woman suddenly showed an intriguing smile and said: "Teacher Dongming, let alone a two thousand membership card, I can also afford a five thousand membership card, but how about you have to accompany me to dinner tonight?"
"Ah? Then you better stop doing it!" My elder brother's words directly made the old woman's face turn green with anger.
"Pfft." My eldest sister laughed and said, "Dongming, look who's here."
Zhao Dongming quickly looked at us and said with surprise on his face: "Grandma, brother? Haha, you are here, come and sit inside."
The eldest brother quickly greeted us and asked us to sit on the sofa inside, arranged for an assistant to pour us water, and said he would give us a haircut later.
Then I went to work on the old woman. They were muttering and I didn't know what they were talking about. During this period, I observed the surrounding environment. The area was about the same as the first floor.
The girls who washed their hair in beautiful clothes looked at us curiously from time to time. Two male apprentices actually had afro hairstyles, with long bangs that blocked half of their faces and one eye.
I thought to myself, what kind of hairstyle is this? Can you see the road? But later I found out that it was the popular hair style of that year.
