"But..." I sighed again and whispered in my heart, "What if Yin Wenqian contacted the bad guys to commit the crime and then destroyed the phone card?"
It seemed that it would be difficult to find substantive evidence from Yin Wenqian. After leaving the town police station, I boarded the bus in a daze.
In the current situation, I could only place my hope on the police. When I got home, I found that my grandma was not there. My grandpa said that she had gone to inquire about He Huanhuan's situation with the villagers.
"Xiao An, did you find out anything from Yin Wenqian?" Grandpa asked worriedly.
I took a deep breath and said no, but there was a high probability that He Huanhuan was taken away by her.
"Hey, there's no evidence, and there's nothing we can do about it." Grandpa sighed.
I was in a very depressed mood and had no intention of talking to my grandfather. Then I went out and continued to inquire about He Huanhuan's whereabouts from the villagers.
In one day, under the investigation of the police and us, we visited all the households in the township, but we only got the clue that He Huanhuan went to the river from Uncle Wang.
Everyone else didn't know anything about it.
In the end, the policemen walked around the river twice more and found nothing, then they closed the team. When I came home at night, I looked at the food on the table and had no appetite.
Grandma comforted me not to get angry and said that He Huanhuan was still alive. This was the best news and he would definitely come back.
I took a deep breath. If He Huanhuan was really sold to the mountains as a wife, it would be very difficult for him to come back. Besides, although he was alive, he was living a miserable and humiliated life. Wouldn't it be better to die than to live?
I started imagining the image of He Huanhuan being raped and huddled in a warehouse while giving birth, and my heart ached so much.
In the next few days, I went to the police station almost every day to inquire about the situation, but there was no news about He Huanhuan.
Time passed very quickly, and in the blink of an eye, one month passed, and He Huanhuan disappeared completely from our sight like evaporating from the world.
And under the double blow of Xiao Mengxin's departure and He Huanhuan's disappearance, I lost more than ten kilograms and barely had a serious meal.
What makes me even more angry is that my grandma's health is getting worse this month, her cough is getting worse, her spirit is haggard, and she looks much older, which makes me very worried.
Every time I persuaded my grandma to go to a big hospital for a check-up, she would wave her hands and say: "It's useless, I'm old, I'm old."
In addition, I really realized the hatefulness of the twin flame method. This month, I desperately wanted to forget Xiao Mengxin.
But the switch of missing her couldn't be turned off at all. This obsessive missing made me almost collapse and go crazy.
Every time I meditate, the scene with her and the words she said will come to my mind.
It was difficult for me to calm down, which greatly increased the difficulty for me to enter samadhi. What made me even more hateful was that I dreamed of her being with different men at night.
From young to all kinds of 20-year-olds and mature middle-aged men, she even dreamed that she held the hand of an old man driving a BMW.
This made me extremely angry, and I yelled in my heart that she was a bitch for being with so many men.
This feeling of being constantly cuckolded made me think more than once of going to Hualian City to find her and cut her into pieces.
After falling asleep that night, I dreamed of a scene that made me even more frightened and angry. Xiao Mengxin actually kissed a man.
They hugged each other tightly, groping each other's bodies, and even made gasping sounds that made me angry.
"Ahhh!" I woke up because of the anger. I sat up and shouted in my heart, "Xiao Mengxin, I must kill you!"
"Xiao An, why are you sitting up? Are you having a nightmare?" Grandma suddenly asked worriedly.
"Grandma, I dreamed about Xiao Mengxin having close contact with other men again. Grandma, do you think she is really that kind of person?" I questioned sadly and angrily.
Although I believed that Xiao Mengxin was not that kind of person, I couldn't stand such frequent and disgusting dreams, which made me suspicious of her.
"Hey, I haven't seen that child before, but she shouldn't be that kind of woman. How cheap must she be to be with so many men?" Grandma said with a sigh.
"I hope it's a dream." I said and lay down, my chest rising and falling violently.
To be honest, my time with Xiao Mengxin was too short, and I didn’t understand who she was at all.
Although judging from the theory that she is the other half of my soul, she should be a conservative and upright person like me, but I still feel suspicious.
At this time, Zen's voice sounded in my mind, "Xiao An, although it is possible, I feel that Xiao Mengxin is most likely not a casual person. Your dreams are just to hone your meditation skills. If you look at your favorite Man, if you are with any man, you will not have any thoughts of judgment, and your meditation skills will definitely be improved to a very high level!"
I understand what Zen said. The dream of Xiao Mengxin being with other men is the whetstone for practicing my Zen skills.
Because the nature of Tathagata is not judgment but observation and awareness, as the words of the Diamond Sutra should be viewed in this way.
When a person observes his own thoughts and is not controlled by them, over time, he will enter the state of samadhi meditation.
To start thinking but not to stop thinking, not to be led away by thoughts, is meditation and practice.
In the past, when I observed my other trivial thoughts, I could still stay calm for a certain period of time and not be led by thoughts.
But since I met Xiao Mengxin and was abandoned by her, I found that I was completely out of control every time I meditated.
The images of her with me and the images of her being intimate with other men in my dreams flashed back and forth in my mind like ghosts.
This caused me to have great mood swings, and I couldn't get into samadhi at all. I meditated for an hour, and cursed Xiao Mengxin for 40 to 50 minutes. My emotions were like a roller coaster.
I knew those dreams might be false, but I still couldn't help but be led by angry thoughts.
After all, there are a few men who can't afford to be emotional or judgmental when looking at the woman they love most, being with other men.
And in my mind, she is my other half and should be with me, not other men. I will never allow this to happen.
Call me selfish or whatever, that's what I think. If she becomes a traitor to her soul, I will definitely destroy her.
"You can't go on like this." Zen's voice suddenly sounded again, "You have been controlled by your roller coaster of anger for more than a month. Remember, you are from nature, you are soul, you are awareness, and Not judging!”
"Don't judge, don't judge!" I replied angrily: "She is actually with another man. How can I not judge such an angry thing?"
Zen said again: "That was just a dream. Also, if you can avoid judging her at all in your meditation, then any emotion in this world will not be able to cause waves in your heart. By then, Your cultivation will definitely rise to a very high level and enter a deeper state of samadhi!"
"And." Zen paused and continued: "If you are always controlled by thoughts, you and Xiao Mengxin will never meet again. You must give up on her and not be disturbed by emotions and thoughts, so that she can appear in the world. Don’t you want to see her by your side?”
"I do want to see her," I said gloomily, "but the one thing I want to do most is to ask her why she was so cruel and heartless and left without saying goodbye."
"No matter what the reason is for you to want to see her, you can't be controlled by your emotions. You have to calm down." Zen sighed and said: "Otherwise, it will be a vicious cycle. If you fail to unite in this life, there will be more In the next life, reincarnation will continue forever until you become one and succeed."
"Is there any successful case of twin flames becoming one?" I suddenly asked.
"Of course, once the union is successful, they will enjoy the most pure romantic love in the world!" Zen said.
"Romantic love?" I took a deep breath, "It's fine if I don't make her dumplings and eat them, but it's still romantic love. I've been tortured by people and ghosts this month, all thanks to her! "
I have been really miserable for more than a month. Not only was I tortured by Xiao Mengxin's abandonment and anger, but I was also obsessed with the disappearance of He Huanhuan.
My heart is like briquettes, riddled with holes, and my mood is like a roller coaster. Sometimes I am sad, sometimes I am giggling, and sometimes I am extremely angry.
"Huh." I calmed down and took a deep breath, thinking that I couldn't continue to be so decadent, otherwise I would be ruined.
Starting from tomorrow, I will try my best to control my thoughts and not be affected by anger, otherwise I will never see Xiao Mengxin again.
I admit that although I hate her so much that I want to tear her into pieces, I still really love her in my heart.
"Hey." At this time, grandpa suddenly said: "It has been more than a month, and there is no news about Huanhuan. I don't know where the child was abducted. It would be better if he was sold into the mountains. I'm afraid... .”
"What are you afraid of?" I quickly asked worriedly. Is there anything more terrifying than being sold to the mountains to be the wife of those old men and giving birth to children?
"Hey, I'm afraid." Grandpa thought for a long time and said, "I'm afraid that Huanhuan will be trafficked to northern Myanmar. I heard that the women who were trafficked there are forced to help bad guys do illegal things. If they don't obey, they will even Their organs were cut off and sold."
"Ah?" I felt a sudden thought when I heard this, and asked quickly, "Grandpa, what you said is true or false. Is there such a place?"
I was really worried and imagined the scene of He Huanhuan being harmed.
"No, you didn't watch TV..." But my grandfather hadn't finished speaking yet.
He was interrupted by grandma, "Shut up, old man, aren't you worrying Xiao An by saying that? Huanhuan is fine now, don't talk nonsense."
My grandma’s words were like giving me a sedative, which made me feel more at ease.
After chatting briefly for a while, we continued to sleep.
I looked at the moonlight outside the window and whispered in my heart, "Huanhuan, where are you?"
