"Xiao Mengxin, you devil, I must find you and cut you into pieces!" I pointed at her photo and roared angrily.
Then, I lay on the bed in despair again, staring at the ceiling aimlessly, and tears kept pouring out.
It was so sudden, and now I can't believe that Xiao Mengxin left so suddenly, with such a farewell, and left me forever in this way of saying goodbye without saying goodbye.
If, if she had explained the reason before leaving, I wouldn't be so sad and angry, but she left only a piece of paper and a photo.
The hateful thing is that I can't forget her at all now, her figure is all in my mind, and the severe pain in my heart sometimes makes my body convulse slightly.
I lay there in a mixture of love and hate for an unknown amount of time. Slowly, the cold moonlight shone into every corner of the window, looking so desolate.
I sat up weakly, leaned against the head of the bed, and looked to the right. Xiao Mengxin was on my right side last night, holding my waist, and I held her shoulders.
But today...
"Hey." Zen's voice suddenly sounded in my mind, "This is something I have expected for a long time. You don't have to be sad. In fact, essentially, you have never been separated at all."
Hearing this, my body suddenly became alert and energetic, and I couldn't wait to ask, "Zen, what do you mean by this? In essence, we have never been separated? But she has obviously abandoned me."
"Because you are one soul and one person, so there is no need to separate. It's just your ego that is creating the illusion of separation." Zen said slowly.
"What do you mean? It's true that we are one soul, but she has indeed left me." I didn't quite understand what Zen said, so I asked angrily again, "Zen, since you said we are one soul, why does she still want to Leave me? She is a liar, she is a traitor! I hate her."
Zen floated out of my body directly, sat next to me and said: "The meaning of you have never been separated is that you are her, she is you, you are already her, how can there be separation? Although your souls Split in two, but there is always a subtle energy connecting each other, which is why you can dream about her repeatedly for many years, and..."
Zen paused and said again: "And the reason why her body left you is indeed because the ego is creating separation."
"The ego creates separation? What do you mean? What is the ego?" I asked anxiously.
"The ego is your mind, your thoughts and thoughts, and your judgmental heart." Zen said helplessly: "You are the souls who long for reunion, and the ego creates separation. Xiao Mengxin is right to really love you, and to be with you , even gave you my body, this is a kind of soul love that transcends the world."
"She can't control her behavior at all, just like you can't control loving her. However, your physical bodies will still live in the real material life. Alas..."
"What do you mean?" I asked again, "Since you have said that it is the desire of her soul to be with me, why does she still have the heart to leave me? Why is she so heartless?"
"If I'm not wrong, her abandoning you may be more painful than yours, just like cutting off your own flesh, but..." Zen looked around and spoke to him before he could finish.
I said angrily: "She is still feeling uncomfortable? How could she be feeling uncomfortable? I was rolling all over the bed with heartache in the afternoon. You saw it too. Can she suffer as much as me? If she feels uncomfortable, how could she leave me?"
I suppressed my anger.
"Listen to me." Zen said again: "Didn't I say it before? You are two extreme individuals. You are idealistic and she is materialistic. You value feelings and your attitude towards feelings is to follow your heart and love. I just love her, I don’t think about anything else, I don’t care about any public opinion, I just want to follow the love in my heart and be with her without hesitation.”
"And because she is a materialist who values value, although she was with you uncontrollably at first because her soul longed to be reunited, but..."
Zen shrugged and continued: "However, after a certain period of time, she will be controlled by her mind and use reason and logic to analyze your relationship. Just like what she said in the letter, she feels that you are together. The behavior is really incomprehensible and unbelievable, so I left without saying goodbye. This is the ego creating separation. The soul loves very much, but the mind and thinking are constantly judging and scrutinizing."
"Materialists are accustomed to using logic to analyze and judge everything they do. Even if they long to be with you, they don't want to believe in the intuition of love in their hearts, because they feel that the inexplicable love and feelings in their hearts are inconsistent with common sense."
"Huh..." I took a deep breath in anger, "What bullshit logic, it doesn't conform to common sense, where do so many troubles come from? Is it wrong to be in love with each other? Why is she so troubled? I I feel like she is just stubborn.”
"It doesn't matter if you feel we are in love, but materialists don't think so." Zen also sighed helplessly: "Xiao Mengxin's love values should be a slow-burn type, and she should have a complete set of love in her mind The system, for example, starts with acquaintances as ordinary friends, then becomes good friends, then becomes a relationship beyond good friends, then becomes a partner, then gets married, and finally has sex.”
"Ahhhh." I went crazy after listening to his set of theories. "Why is she so rigid? Is this a materialist? Why do I feel like an idiot?"
"That's right, what's more, Xiao Mengxin is still an extreme materialist." Zen frowned and said: "After all, after Xiao Mengxin met you, he uncontrollably omitted all the previous steps and went directly to the final step with you. The next step is to have sex. Do you think she can accept it? Her mind will judge and analyze. This is something that is incomprehensible. She may even feel that she may be crazy and out of control for no reason, so..."
Zen paused and continued: "So, she should not lose control, her mind should continue to take the initiative, and thus escape from you. Furthermore, materialists value value and have very high requirements for their partners."
"If it weren't for the fact that you two are from the same soul and are attracted to each other, causing her to fall in love with you irresistibly, with your background and financial value, you would never have this opportunity, and she wouldn't even look at you."
"I..." I became even more angry after hearing this, "To put it bluntly, she is a person who values values, a ruthless person who values interests!"
"You are right to say that." Zen sighed: "Actually, feelings are dispensable in their eyes. Only high-value and outstanding individuals can attract their attention!"
"Fuck!" I said with angry red eyes, "Isn't this just like a gold digger? She only looks at rich men. Is she this kind of person?"
My teeth were itching with hatred, and suddenly I became even more angry when I thought of what she said about her liking mature and stable men and excellent men.
She clearly looks down on me.
And a mature, stable and excellent man represents money.
Xiao Mengxin values value, that is, money. She is clearly a money worshiper!
"Wrong!" Chan suddenly said: "Xiao Mengxin is different from the gold-worshiping girl!"
"Why?" I asked curiously.
