"Bold! I'm not afraid that you won't recruit me! Come here! Give me another fifty blows!"
Guan'er's face was swollen with anger, and the tendons in his neck were filled with anger. He was angry that these two people were uncooperative, which caused him to lose the credibility of accepting bribes.
The foster father's miserable screams echoed in the Yamen, and he was beaten until he passed out and refused to change his tune.
On a rainy day, water leaked everywhere in the house, and even the bed got wet.
He looked at his adoptive father sadly.
"Don't worry, He'er, even the emperor has no chance to get wet in this rain."
There was a crackling sound, mixed with the stench of smoke.
You He opened his eyes and looked at the roof of the ruined temple. There were holes in the roof, exposing the night sky. The night sky was a little bright, thinking there was a moon tonight.
From time to time, there were one or two slight popping sounds in my ears. It turned out that the firewood was wet and burning inconsistently.
"Yu He is awake."
It's the little girl's voice.
Oh, it’s red leaves.
Hongye didn't understand what was wrong with the old man in front of her, because she didn't know what "old" meant.
She is a little girl who will never grow up again, forever.
"You Lao," Yun Kong was making a pot of hot soup, "Are you awake?"
You He responded dully, smelled the smell of the soup, and asked: "What are you cooking? It smells good."
"The herbs I just found outside will give you strength."
"I'm so worried."
"Youlao, what's on your mind?"
You He felt dizzy: "Why do you ask?"
"Just now you have been calling Qingni... Qingni... vaguely a personal name."
Green mud?
I haven't thought of this name for a long time.
Tears overflowed from You He's eyes, and a stream of tears flowed from the corners of his eyes.
That night, he fell into coma and woke up, talking in his sleep.
Yun Kong's heart was also in confusion all night long, fearing that You He would die in his sleep.
For more than a year, the two of them have been heading south to return to their hometown together. Yun Kong has treated You He as a master, and You He often takes the opportunity to teach Yun Kong some knowledge about work.
Hongye doesn’t understand what’s wrong with Yu He.
"He's dying."
Yun Kong told her.
"Why did you die?"
Hongye thought that people would die only if they killed people. She had never seen a human being who ended his life naturally.
"Because he's old."
Hong Ye vaguely understood what was going on, so she secretly hid outside the ruined temple and cried.
You He's murmurs echoed in the ruined temple.
His speech was unclear, sometimes he was excited, sometimes he muttered, sometimes he frowned, as if he was thinking hard.
Yun Kong touched his forehead, it was very cold.
His pulse was also very erratic, sometimes fast and sometimes slow, sometimes slipping and sometimes sinking.
Yun Kong knew very well that You He didn't have much time left.
"Qing Ni!"
You He suddenly shouted, startling Yun Kong.
Hong Ye also quietly poked her head in from outside the door.
Then, You He smiled, revealing his incomplete teeth. His smile made his whole body feel like a spring breeze, and he was immersed in a pool of happiness.
In this situation, Yun Kong also forgot about his worries and was happy with him.
Amidst the revolving memory fragments, You He returned to the past.
He was only ten years old that year. The nightmare of castration and the fear of being buried alive had gradually faded from his mind, and he could already play with other children of the same age.
He and his friends liked to play in the open space next to a nunnery, and no one noticed anything different about him.
Among the playmates was a little girl, who was usually called Lian'er. She was the child raised by the middle-aged bhikshuni in the nunnery.
When asked whose child Lian'er is, Lian'er will answer: "My parents died very early. It was Master who took pity on me and raised me."
The master she talks about is the only bhikshuni in this "Wuchen Nunnery", whose dharma name is Hui Ran.
Every day in the evening, Hui Ran would pull Lian'er back and ask her to attend evening classes together, muttering: "You will be wild with those wild children."
Although his mouth was so verbose, his tone was very kind.
You He also noticed that Lian'er and Hui Ran looked slightly similar.
You He noticed it because he often couldn't help but look at Lian'er, paying attention to her smile, her frown, her lips when she spoke, and her half-lost baby teeth.
Every expression and every movement of hers is a memory that You He will recall in his dreams after he comes home from playing tired every day.
Growing up is a cruel thing.
Two years later, Hui Ran did not allow Lian'er to play with You He anymore, and even gave her a Buddhist name, preparing to officially become a monk living as a Buddhist monk.
You He was very puzzled, why did Lian'er have to leave home?
He secretly waited outside the nunnery, hoping to see Lian'er again.
After finally waiting for Hui Ran to go out, You He hurriedly knocked on the door of the nunnery: "Lian'er, open the door quickly."
As expected, Lian'er came to open the door: "Master will scold others, so leave quickly."
"It doesn't matter, I saw her going to the city and she won't be back for a while."
Lian'er breathed a sigh of relief and then lowered her head: "What do you want from me?"
You He was startled.
He remembered that he had a lot to say, but when he saw Lian'er, he couldn't say anything.
Perhaps, there is no need to say it.
The two were silent for a while.
"I...I once thought that I would ask you to be my wife when I grow up."
Lian'er raised her head with wide eyes and looked at You He in disbelief.
It was the first time she heard such words, her heart beat suddenly, and a blush appeared on her face.
From now on, You He would often come to Lian'er secretly, waiting for Hui Ran to go out, and when she was dressed for a long journey, the two would meet in private and talk to each other about their concerns.
"Your master asked you to become a monk, why didn't you shave your head?"
"Master said that I have to wait until I am sixteen years old before I can shave, and let me practice with my hair first..."
"Well," You He nodded and put his arms behind his head, "It's better not to shave. If you do, how can you be my wife again?"
"There's nothing we can do," Lian'er said quietly, "Master won't agree."
"Lian'er, where are your parents? If your parents were here, would they be willing to let you become a monk?"
Lian'er looked at the forest in the distance in confusion. There were a few gaps between the trees, slightly revealing the distant scenery.
"Since I can remember things, I only have Master. I don't remember having parents."
The leaves turned from green to red, and Wuchen'an was surrounded by the fallen leaves of the forest, making it look even more desolate.
As the snow falls and the snow melts, the cicadas lie on the trees, roaring at the top of their lungs, screaming until they are exhausted, and finally fall into the pile of dead leaves, where they rot together.
In the blink of an eye, You He is thirteen years old.
The nightmare tore apart the sweetness without preparation.
Hui Ran, dressed for a long trip, suddenly appeared from behind, startling the two of them.
"Sure enough, I guessed it right!" She pulled Lian'er up, her eyes filled with sadness and anger, "Are you going to fall into the six realms of reincarnation again?
Do you really think I'm harming you? "
She pulled Lian'er and walked towards Wuchen Nunnery. Lian'er didn't say anything and just followed obediently, leaving You He at a loss.
After a while, he got up and quietly approached Wuchen Nunnery.
Hui Ran's voice was so loud that You He could hear it even outside the closed door: "Your life was saved! If you don't practice in this life, you will suffer misfortune in the next life!"
You He pricked up his ears.
"Your father wanted to kill you. If I hadn't taken you in, you would have been gone long ago!"
At this time, full of doubts immediately occupied You He's heart.
From now on, whenever Hui Ran went out, she would definitely bring Lian Er with her, and You He would never find a chance to meet her.
The cruelty of growing up shows its power again and again.
The voices of his childhood playmates all became thicker, except for You He's.
One time when he was tired from playing, You He needed to urinate. He walked into the grass, pulled down his pants, and squatted down.
"Hey!" A companion quietly approached and shouted loudly, "Look! You He is indeed a woman! There is no bird!"
"oh--!"
The other playmates swarmed up and grabbed his pants, preventing him from putting them on. He struggled in the grass, trying to cover his private parts, but he was turned around by his companions.
"It's girls!"
"No wonder you are so soft-spoken!"
"There's no hair down there either!"
Everyone laughed at him, as if he had discovered something big and new that could become the object of their amusement from now on.
For the first time, You He deeply realized how different he was.
He went home and cried bitterly, which attracted the attention of his adoptive father.
The adoptive father was an old widower with no wife or children. He rescued him a few years ago. Although he was not officially adopted, he was as close as father and son.
"When you're done crying, tell me what happened."
The old man made a pot of tea and waited for him to cry enough.
After hearing what happened to You He, the old man could only sigh: "You know, you are different from others. You are incomplete and cannot live an ordinary life."
An incomplete body.
A long time ago, he knew that he was different from ordinary people, but after years of living a comfortable and stable life, and under the care of his adoptive father, he almost forgot all this.
"As a man, you can't marry a wife, grow a beard, or even..."
