In order to achieve perfect attendance, let’s use our imagination first!
I have been collecting food all day today, and I didn’t have time =-=,
I'll make it up in an hour, let's see tomorrow
"You think this is me?"
"this is you."
"this is not me."
"this is you."
"This isn't me."
Li Ke looked at the customs clearance document handed over by the Bodhisattva with the two characters "Tang Monk" written on it, and shook his head at her.
"This really cannot be done like this, Bodhisattva. I am Fa Hai, how can I be Tang Monk? This cannot be done, it cannot be done."
But the Bodhisattva in front of him just smiled softly and persuaded Li Ke in a very gentle tone.
"Do you know monkeys?"
"I know, Sun Wukong, the Monkey King, the monkey who is a great stick thief."
"Do you know why he was suppressed for five hundred years?"
"Isn't it because he made a big fuss in the Heavenly Palace?"
The Bodhisattva showed a mysterious smile, but did not say anything. Li Ke looked at the Bodhisattva in front of him, and then at the Tang Monk whose shape was no longer visible under his feet. Finally, he suppressed the uneasiness in his heart and expressed his guess.
"...It can't be because you peed on Buddha's hand, right?"
But Guanyin just showed a confused look, as if what Li Ke said was something strange. When Li Ke felt something was wrong, Bodhisattva smiled and spoke.
"What a strange statement. Why do you think so? But it's very insightful. I can ask Sakyamuni for you if he thinks so."
Li Ke was completely stunned. He looked at the smiling Bodhisattva and his hands were shaking uncontrollably.
"Isn't this appropriate? Bodhisattva, you can't talk nonsense. You asked me this! I said it based on your question!"
But the Bodhisattva just smiled.
"Do you think Buddha believes in you or me?"
"………………"
"And regardless of whether I asked you or not, do you think Buddha is small-minded?"
"………………"
There are some words that cannot be said, Bodhisattva.
After licking the dry corners of his mouth, Li Ke squatted on a stone on the side in resignation, looked at the mummy of Tang Monk who died for unknown reasons, and then looked at the Bodhisattva.
"But it really can't be done, Bodhisattva, look at me...after all, I am also a person who is about to achieve Arhat status. Although the world has changed so much now, I can't wait for the White Snake in the West Lake, and you can't wait for Tang Monk in the South China Sea. But we can’t act recklessly, right? Everything must be done in accordance with the rules and regulations and in compliance with the laws of heaven.”
Li Ke only felt angry. He used to be a clerk, but he inexplicably traveled to the ancient Jinshan Temple and was turned into a child and adopted.
Being called Fa Hai, he naturally does not have those bad habits of the original Fa Hai, he is just a modern person with the name of Fa Hai. On the contrary, his junior brother and the goblin were having trouble getting along all day, and their obsession was particularly heavy. Let him know that he may have taken Fahai's name and made the original Fahai call another Fahai.
Originally, he wanted to find a chance to return to secular life, but for some reason, he practiced Buddhist methods faster than Fa Hai. He himself couldn't figure out why. When he asked his master, he said that he had wisdom roots, but his family's A man understands his own family affairs. Except for the one below who is really spiritual, he is just a modern, laid-back young man.
But things were just so confusing. He was able to master the techniques that his junior brother couldn't master, and he was able to practice the spells that his junior brother had practiced so hard faster than his junior brother. And when one day he got a pheasant to beat the teeth of a pheasant, and by the way, he broke through the realm and was discovered by his junior brother, his junior brother was completely stunned.
Bai Suzhen stopped catching the cockroaches, and stopped killing the mosquito monsters. The Toad King just threw them away, and the Rat Zen Master didn't even look at them.
He practiced hard all day long, trying to surpass his senior brother. Li Ke responded with a supportive attitude. Once his junior brother surpassed him, he could pretend to be hit and return to secular life for relatively legitimate reasons.
But here comes the problem, the world suddenly changes.
I don’t know which great power, or which demon king, or there is something wrong with the way of heaven in this world. The whole world went into chaos in an instant.
The town in front still hung the banner of the Overlord of Western Chu, while Zhang Fei and Guan Yu here were yelling and cursing in front of Wu Sangui's formation. Confucius and the old man took Dong Zhongshu and gave them a blast, using two casserole-sized fists to smash people's brains. All the words were smashed out, explaining what it means to "speak" and to persuade people with virtue.
The most miserable one was Tang Wang Li Shimin. He had only had a few days to live in peace here when an empress named Wu Zetian appeared. Then there was an army of Emperor Sui Yang who was said to be on an expedition to Goguryeo in front of Luoyang City.
All in all, things have become extremely evil. Not only the world of mortals has become a mess, but the gods have also become extremely chaotic.
Li Ke saw three Nezha with different painting styles chasing Li Jing yesterday. The Nezha on the cloud who could barely be seen to be a boy was snickering while cracking melon seeds.
San Sheng Sheng was still having runny noses, and the unlucky child named Chenxiang he rescued yesterday was already asking how he could split Huashan Mountain.
As for him, he was also unlucky. While waiting for Xu Xian to play with the snow on the broken bridge at Jinshan Temple, he received a monk who said he had just passed Liangjie Mountain.
This monk is Tang Seng.
Li Ke said this was Hangzhou, but Monk Tang didn't believe it. He said that he had finally walked for so long and reached the border of the Tang Dynasty. How could he return to Hangzhou? !
Then Li Ke said that there is something wrong with the master now. You can find out by asking later. Although this is Hangzhou, if you go further west, you will reach Siberia.
Tang Seng still didn't believe it and said that Li Ke had lied to him. He had read Journey to the West and found that after the Two Boundaries Mountains it was definitely not Hangzhou. And after he finished speaking, he pointed at the sauced elbow on Li Ke's table, drooling, and said that you, a monk who eats meat, could be a demon monk who came to stop him from learning Buddhist scriptures.
So Elder Tang ate two meals, packed some vegetarian buns and hit the road. After Li Ke woke up, he was a little curious about whether he could find the monkey and followed him. Then, he saw Tang Monk being sucked into a mummy by a vampire...
There is nothing to say about what happened after that. He crossed the border to enforce the law and saved the vampire, and the Bodhisattva also came belatedly after he finished his work. Originally, this matter was none of his business, but when the Bodhisattva was preparing to bring people to resurrect Tang Monk, a little trouble arose.
Because of the chaos of heaven, Bodhisattva's spiritualism failed. I plan to find something to do with the Yama Hall. There are now more than 80 more Yamas in the original ten halls. Ghosts from all eras have become a mess. The underworld is even more chaotic than the human world. Trying to find Tang Monk's soul floating somewhere in this situation is basically equivalent to wishful thinking.
But this world is mainly a world of westward journey, and the matter of westward journey can no longer be postponed, so after the Bodhisattva failed to revive Tang Monk, he turned his attention to Li Ke, who had been helping to look at Tang Monk's body, and this resulted in the previous dialogue.
"Why can't it be done? You are the one who should be robbed, and Tang Seng is also the one who should be robbed. Since you are both the ones who should be robbed, then you can take the scriptures on Tang Seng's behalf. After Tang Seng is resurrected, let him suppress Bai Suzhen on your behalf. There will be no delay between the two."
The Bodhisattva still had a kind face, and Li Ke knew that if he didn't make it clear now, this bad luck would really happen to him.
"Bodhisattva, I have read few scriptures, so don't lie to me. Could this happen like this?! And you should be able to see that I am not the Dharma Sea you think!"
"You are that Fa Hai."
"I'm not that Fa Hai!"
"You are that Fa Hai!"
"I...Bodhisattva, why are we coming back again? Can we solve the problem by talking like this?"
Then the Bodhisattva nodded.
"It makes sense. Okay, if you don't go, I will slap you to death as a time traveler right now. Do you want to go?"
Li Ke smiled calmly. He was a Buddhist practitioner after all. How could he succumb to threats?
So he simply raised the nectar bottle in front of him and clenched his fists. Because Li Shimin ascended the throne, Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva, who could not be called Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva, knelt down.
"go!"
——————
Although under the amiable persuasion of the Bodhisattva, the matter has been decided. Li Ke, the fake Fahai, will be a fake Tang monk on his journey to the West.
But Li Ke felt that he still had to prepare something.
Just for example.
"monkey."
There are no monkeys in Journey to the West, so it would be as boring as eating tofu nao without putting anything in it.
But the problem is that Elder Tang, who has now rushed to the street, did not meet his monkey when he went to the street, and the famous Siberia is in front of him, so what about his monkey?
He wasn't trying to be lazy, but he felt that if Journey to the West didn't have monkeys, it would be really tasteless.
But Bodhisattva has a different opinion.
"I don't think you really need a monkey that much."
The Bodhisattva holding three golden hoops expressed his approval of Li Ke's fighting ability. You must know that not everyone is qualified to subdue the snake spirit who has practiced orthodox immortality for thousands of years.
Li Ke's combat effectiveness is still very good. He has been recognized by the organization and has experienced the test of facts.
Although it hasn't happened yet, don't you know how powerful Fahai is just by looking at the "Legend of White Snake" in her hand? !
"Your own strength is pretty good. Can't you just go there by yourself?"
"Bodhisattva, although the heavenly secrets are chaotic, we must restore history. How can we do it without respecting history?"
"You just want to be lazy, right?"
"Absolutely not."
"You swear to God."
"…………"
"Quick, I swear to God."
Li Ke had a look of constipation on his face. This was a fairy world. If ordinary people didn't do something outrageous, I swear to God they would be fine. But if it is a monk like him who has already entered the Immortal Sect and continues to practice, then the problem will be big.
I swear to God, I swear to God, I am really registered with God!
Although Tiandao is in chaos now, they can keep accounts!
Rumor has it that Tiandao keeps a small notebook to write down things every day, and when the time comes, he will just sort them all out.
Normally, it would be a god keeping accounts for you, but now...
Li Ke looked at the sky.
At least twenty now.
"Respect history, Bodhisattva. And you have to do all the drama, right? Although I can fight, Tang Seng is a weak monk, and we are Buddhists. After all, we are greedy, angry, foolish, and hateful. Evil desires, these things always come together.”
The adaptation is not random editing, and the drama is not nonsense. Everyone in the original Journey to the West appears for a reason.
Sun Wukong represents Tang Seng's ape with nowhere to rest, and the white dragon horse represents the horse that obeys reality but is unwilling to do so. Greed, anger, ignorance, hate, love, and evil are more obvious in Sha Seng and Bajie.
Needless to say, Bajie, Sha Monk is actually not perfect. He said nothing or did nothing along the way, which is a kind of distortion in itself. Moreover, Little White Dragon and Sun Wukong did not escape the seven sins and eight sufferings of Buddhism.
Mumu Jinggong refers to cultivation, which means that these ninety-nine and eighty-one difficulties are a practice.
This is the core of Journey to the West. In essence, the original version of Journey to the West is a Taoist practice guide with serious private information.
Moreover, the original version of Tang Monk had Six Ding Liujia, who were on duty to guard him. Although I didn’t understand why these people disappeared when the vampires attacked Tang Monk, causing Elder Tang himself to literally go to the west, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t These people are a beggar's version of Tang Monk, but they also want monkeys.
At least this way, when he is arrested, there will be someone who can report him or something.
Li Ke's argument can be said to be well-founded and convincing. Guanyin Bodhisattva, who cannot be called Guanyin Bodhisattva, also nodded in agreement. After all, this kind of behavior of recruiting a young man without giving him any configuration is indeed a bit excessive, so she took out a The golden hoop was handed to Li Ke and pointed forward.
"Yes, you do need some guardians. There is a monkey eight hundred miles ahead. You can go find him with the golden hoop. After you accept him, it will not be difficult to gather the remaining disciples. But for the sake of the plot... …The number of ninety-nine and eighty-one is even more complex, so I won’t get involved in this matter.”
Are there monkeys in Siberia?
Li Ke looked at Siberia, which was next to Hangzhou City, and couldn't help but look at the Bodhisattva, wanting to ask what happened.
But a Bodhisattva is a Bodhisattva after all, and he is extremely outstanding in every aspect.
The moment Li Ke turned to look at the Great Plains of Siberia, the Bodhisattva disappeared!
"Hey! You are really..."
Li Ke took a deep breath, hoping that he wouldn't be mad to death, but there was no way, the monkey was looking for him after all, and since the Bodhisattva wouldn't help, he had to do it himself.
With a helpless sigh, Li Ke took Tang Seng's boy style and looked at the West Lake where the four seasons are like spring. Every day, little girls wearing light gauze skirts call Master Fa Hai on the flower boat and come to play with them. Looking at Siberia, which is full of ice and snow, and there are a large group of people digging potatoes, I couldn't help but sigh.
With the spell in his mouth and his feet on the ground, he planned to cross Siberia under the clouds to find his monkey.
Then, just as he was about to fly up, a snow-white fist appeared out of thin air on his forehead and hit his bald head firmly, beating him to pieces and causing him to fall to the ground.
Then the Bodhisattva appeared like lightning.
"Ah, I forgot to tell you. On the way to the West, you can only walk or ride a horse and move forward in a mortal way, otherwise..."
Bodhisattva placed the jade purification bottle in the hand of the green-haired dragon girl next to him, then raised it beside him, clenched it into a fist, and while the joints cracked, he also struck a classic Bruce Lee pose.
"I'll turn you into water."
"How to change?"
"Have you ever heard that steel can be made into steel?"
"learn!"
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