Jesus, the Son of God in the biblical God system, is one of the most powerful father-fighters in history. His famous deed is that he came back from the dead with the gift of his father.
But correspondingly, the Jesus in the myth is a very strong man, who will fight whoever he wants to fight, and he will not fail at all. He also carried the cross on Calvary and successfully ascended to heaven carrying all the original sins of mankind. He also controlled Jacob's hands and feet and was able to easily defeat the archangel.
What's more, they believe that Jesus is the trumpet of Jehovah, the Holy Trinity of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. To describe who the other person is, he can be described as a peerless macho man.
Not only is he eight feet tall, but his waist is also eight feet tall. He can fight with his fists and move horses with his arms. But for someone who cares about the world and wants to save all mankind, you have to have the word invincible written on his face, right?
But the person in front of him had sloppy steps, a pale complexion, and a very crude crown of thorns on his head. At first glance, he looked like a dead man. The things in his hands were either figures or games. Li Ke even saw Otome Xiang's game.
Is this how the savior of mankind saves mankind?
Don't be too funny, okay? !
"Are you sure? Then can you take my punch? The real Jesus should be able to withstand my punch, right? By the way, I can open the atmosphere with one punch. If you can't do it, it's best if you can't. Just say it, and then don’t continue to pretend to be Jesus, otherwise you will be punished by God.”
Li Ke raised his fist, and the majestic power gathered in his hand. With his current ability, it is really no problem to open the atmosphere with one punch. The awakened dragon power can breathe out to the center of the earth. , breaking the atmosphere is not a big problem.
However, his serious words made Jesus stunned. He was indeed the Jesus of this world, but if he wanted to open up the atmosphere with one punch...
It can't be done, and why should Jesus block a punch that can break the atmosphere? Is this some hot-blooded battle comic? Is he just a carpenter who wants everyone to be kind and live a happy life? Why do you need to master such technology? !
And in order to verify whether he is Jesus, he will punch him. There is no such outrageous person among his disciples!
But this feeling is irresistible!
Jesus, who was on vacation, didn't think too much at all. Instead, he struck a handsome pose and looked at Li Ke.
"Opening the atmosphere with one punch? Isn't that bad? Will ultraviolet rays and radiation harm other people?"
The calmness on his face made Li Ke a little suspicious, so he withdrew his strength and swung at the opponent's head.
Now that you admit that you are Jesus, give it a try!
Li Ke thought so, and his fist did rush towards the opponent's head.
But when he was halfway through the punch, he found that the man with a mustache who called himself Jesus had no reaction at all, and his fist was not noticed by the opponent at all.
He wasn't sure whether it was because he was confident or because he really didn't notice, so just when he was about to hit the opponent's head, Li Ke stopped his fist.
But the fist stopped, but the wind of the fist did not. The violent wind blew the mustache's hair and beard backwards, and the calm expression on the opponent's face instantly turned into sluggishness and shock. Coupled with his beard that was blown into a mustache and the hair on the broom head, Li Ke was finally able to confirm one thing.
The god in front of us is indeed not Jesus.
"...It seems like it's impossible. Anyway, you'd better stop calling yourself Jesus. There really are gods in this world. And with your appearance, you claim to be Johnny Depp, who plays Captain Jack Sparrow in Pirates of the Caribbean." It’s more appropriate.”
The real Jesus of this world looked at Li Ke blankly. He really didn't react to the punch he just received, and he really didn't have the strength to resist the previous punch.
To put it bluntly, he became a god because of the principles and doctrines he preached, as well as his personal actions, and he was respected from the bottom of his heart by everyone, and then he became a god.
Although he is not afraid of force, he is not the kind of person who is particularly good at fighting.
And what the hell is penetrating the atmosphere?
Does the Savior need to master this?
but……
"Ah...do you really think I look like Johnny Depp?"
Jesus looked happy because he also thought Captain Jack, played by Johnny Depp, was very handsome, so when Li Ke said that he looked like Captain Jack, he immediately forgot all the unpleasantness.
"It's indeed quite similar."
Li Ke nodded. The mustache in front of him really looked like Johnny Depp, especially the two bunches of mustache. But compared to Captain Jack, the person in front of him seemed more serious and cheerful, and he didn't have that ruffian-like temperament.
"Oh, that's great. You really have great taste. I want to bless you."
Jesus is really happy. In this way, he can be more popular. After all, he has lost two attentions on the earth a few days ago, which really makes him sad, so he thinks that changing his image may be able to make him less attention. Come back again.
Ah, he has recently learned the word attention. The number of attention in his mouth is now referring to the number of his followers.
"forget it."
Li Ke shook his head, looked at the screw head who was preaching to the ghost, and then sighed, which stunned the Buddha who thought he would also be persecuted.
"You call yourself Buddha, why do you still eat spices? Buddhism does not prohibit meat, but abstains from meat. But the fundamental reason for abstaining from meat is because after eating spices, you will have a serious posture. You actually eat such heavy spices? You still Do you have the nerve to call yourself Buddha?"
The Buddha was stupid. He originally thought that it would be enough to abide by the rules of not eating meat here. After all, this is Japan, and he must abide by the precepts and practice methods of the practitioners here. But is curry also taboo in Japan? !
So he immediately defended himself.
"But, I'm an Indian! This is curry! Curry! As an Indian, isn't it normal for me to eat curry?"
Li Ke looked at the Buddha pointing at his skin and had lost the idea of testing.
These two people are really too weak, so weak that they are useless.
"Ha, you don't even know what the purpose of the precepts is. Instead, you use the region as a shield. Do you think the great Buddha would care about his origin? And if you are the Buddha, explain to me why you pay attention to doing good deeds and doing good deeds. Why did the good Buddha abandon his wife and son? If he could really abandon the world, why did he name his son troubles and obstacles? And this behavior is different from his teachings, right? In addition, Tang Monk is in Lingshan Are you used to eating it? Is the Ganges water really pure?"
A series of questions were asked by Li Ke. The Buddha was able to answer many, but he had severe psychological trauma for abandoning his wife and children. Moreover, when Li Ke said that he used his geographical origin as a shield, he suddenly thought that his words and deeds had just been There are indeed limitations.
The Buddha fell to the ground. He hugged his legs and sat next to the telephone pole. His mood gradually became depressed.
"...Sorry, maybe I really don't deserve to be called Buddha. I have been enlightened for so long, but I still make such mistakes. I'm sorry for living up to your expectations. I will learn from amoeba." Starting to practice again..."
The Buddha had a look of despair on his face. As an enlightened person and leader, he would use his origin as an excuse for his misbehavior. His guilt made him want to start practicing again.
"If you know this, don't pretend to be a Buddha. It's a grave sin to pretend to be a god or a Buddha!"
Li Ke snorted disdainfully. With this little Taoism, you still want to pretend to be Buddha? His prostate fluid was almost bursting with laughter.
It's just that the miko lady on the side and the other gods watching have been completely confused. They are happy that the mustache that looks like Captain Jack is indeed Jesus, and the autistic screw head on the side is indeed the Buddha.
But these two respectable people were so manipulated by Li Ke that they couldn't even admit their identities. The gods were shocked by the outrageousness of this incident, but for the miko lady, she only felt one way.
Angry and upset.
Buddha and Jesus are respectable people. Their character and behavior have led countless people over the past thousands of years. She feels now like seeing someone bullying an elderly soldier and dedicating his life to the country. Experts teach ordinary people the same.
"...What on earth are you doing!!"
Jumping up and kicking, the miko lady kicked Li Ke away. Originally, she would not be so violent. But as a miko who serves the gods, it is normal for her to feel like this when she sees someone bullying an admirable god.
And Li Ke really made a move just now. Although he didn't hit him, he really made a move! !
"What's going on with your brain! Can you be normal?"
Rushing in front of Li Ke, the shrine maiden who was about to lose her mind shook Li Ke's collar, making Li Ke's world more colorful. But Li Ke was still stubborn. He really felt that gods should be incompetent. What cannot be done is that great gods like Buddha and Jesus have the ability to create the world.
"No, no, no. From a universal rational point of view, they who cannot create the universe and the world at will are not Jesus and Buddha from the beginning, right?"
The witch lady was about to go crazy. Lord Jesus, let’s not talk about it. Buddha has been positioned as an enlightened person from the very beginning. He was a thinker and enlightened person who was ahead of most people in terms of thought and realm. Li Ke's request is as unreasonable as asking all professors in the philosophy department to have good wrestling skills!
If Li Ke could be convinced so easily, it wouldn't be Li Ke. He took out his mobile phone, searched for a pornographic picture on the Internet, and showed it directly to Jesus and Buddha.
Buddha and Jesus immediately turned around when they saw the rather explicit photo. Although their state of mind had reached a point where they would not lose their composure because of a pornographic picture.
But out of respect for themselves in the minds of the believers, mainly Li Ke's opinion of them, they still turned their heads.
Then, what they didn't expect was that when they saw them turning their heads decisively, Li Ke became even more confident.
"Look! They don't even dare to look at pornographic pictures! How could the real Buddha and Jesus' state of mind not dare to look at such things! You know, I didn't pick anything revealing!"
Li Ke tried to argue, but the witch lady no longer wanted to listen to him.
Showing two-dimensional pornographic pictures of Buddha and Jesus, Li Ke can even do such a thing! I really need a good education!
"So! Where did your distorted thoughts come from?! Why would God do such a thing! Why do you have such disrespectful thoughts? You only have violence and pornography in your mind !"
So the miko lady started chasing Li Ke and started fighting. Li Ke thought it was fun and routine, so he started running with her opponent.
Buddha and Jesus on the side also calmed down. To be honest, no one has treated them like this for a long time, causing them to almost enter working mode, and even feel a little nostalgic.
But seeing Li Ke constantly talking about the fighting power of the two of them, the two gods were helpless.
"Well, this feels like someone discussing whether Kakarot can beat Superman."
Jesus touched his chin and looked at Li Ke, who was still insisting that he would be able to create the world with his wave of hands. A thought made him turn back time. He felt that there must be something wrong with this person's brain, or in other words, what had the other person experienced before he could do this? Such a strange idea?
The Buddha could understand Li Ke a little better. He did show some force when he first preached, but he did not rely on force to make people follow and believe in him. It was just that this feeling really gave him a subtle sense of déjà vu.
He thought for a while and remembered what he saw in the anime forum that Jesus often watched.
"Yes, there is a sense of discussing combat power across works. I remember that the best way to solve it is to let the authors fight? But then it will become a holy war between Buddhists and Christians for their beliefs. That way It will trigger World War III, and humanity will be doomed immediately.”
After saying that, both of them laughed, especially Jesus, who even scratched his head in embarrassment.
"Yes, yes, when we talked about the invention of nuclear bombs by humans, I specifically asked the archangels if they had lost their flaming swords, and if Lucifer had broken his promise."
Buddha also laughed.
"Same here. I thought it was Indra who did something weird again. After all, that guy always likes to do weird things, and he has caused a lot of trouble to people in the past."
After the two people looked at each other, they no longer looked at Li Ke, who was fixed with a cross by the witch lady, and were about to leave. Li Ke didn't believe that it really didn't matter whether they were Buddha and Jesus. Li Ke clearly agreed with the two in his words. If they are teachings spread by individuals, then what difference does it make if you know them or not?
As long as people in the world are good for themselves and treat others well, are willing to act for good, are willing to help people in need, and are willing to stop evil, then even if they are not Jesus and Buddha, there is actually nothing wrong with them.
The two of them walked towards the street talking and laughing, but when they saw a video store, Jesus thought about the recent suicide of a singer he followed and couldn't help but sigh.
"It's a bit regretful to say that I saw a very talented young singer commit suicide before. Like this young man, he also doesn't believe in gods... Speaking of which, there are always such talents in the music scene recently. , but a young man who died young."
The Buddha took a curious look at the young man's appearance and felt that he looked familiar. Then he spoke without thinking much.
"Ah, this man is indeed a talented young man. I have met him. I remember that a god said he wanted to form a band before, and then I saw him inside..."
"..."
"..."
For an instant, both gods fell silent.
They seemed to have discovered some great dark secret.
