This is an open window with various flowers placed on the windowsill. In front of the window is a brown-black painted desk. On the desk is a black notebook with a pressed rose-like pattern on the cover.
A pair of hands gently opened the notebook. The hands are not big, but the joints are obvious. The veins on the back of the hands can be clearly seen as blue, and the nails lack blood color and have an unhealthy paleness.
The owner of those hands is a childish and thin girl. She has soft brown hair, gray-blue eyes, pale and bloodless skin, and a soft and childish facial contour, with a sickly feeling of weakness. The girl seemed to follow a certain rhythm and flipped through the notebook page by page, starting from the first page.
"May 4, 1320"
"Writing a diary for the first time. My mother told me that if I was worried that I would forget something, I could write it down in the diary. Although people always say, 'Who writes a diary?', my intuition told me that I should record what I have done. What I'm thinking, but I can't write here (a few words blackened in ink) about the dream. Emperor Russell is really 'great'!
Time flies so fast, I will go to school soon. But apart from grammar and history knowledge, I guess there was nothing the school could teach me. After all, my (a few words blackened in ink) learning ability is very strong, and the enlightenment teacher has nothing left to teach me. I think I can graduate and enter a public school very quickly. Let me think about it. My brother once introduced me to the more famous public schools in Fenerport City. I decided that among these public schools, the one that is more suitable for me is...Arnold Public School. ? And my brother happened to be there too. "
…
"August 8, 1322"
"8 years old. Last night's birthday dinner was very fun. My mother asked me to invite Penny and Frank. In fact, in my opinion, they and I can't be considered friends, we can only be regarded as familiar people who get along fairly well. Man? And the name Frank always makes me think of less than wonderful things, like...mushrooms?
Forget it, my mother asked me to make more friends at school, but I always thought they were childish. I once heard a classmate say that I look like a proud swan. Is this a compliment or a criticism? I decided to take it as a compliment, at least I was a 'swan'. And hasn't Arnold Public School always adhered to the creed of 'maintaining one's own individuality'?
Well, my mother thought that I should not graduate directly. She believed that a complete study life should not be lacking. Fortunately, my father and brother supported my decision, although it is an anecdote to directly enter Arnold Public School before the age of 8. But I think I was right, at least now I have some people I can talk to, like Penny and Frank.
Speaking of which, in addition to teaching mathematics and grammar, the public school also teaches languages such as Hermes, Ancient Fussac, Loen, and Intis, as well as some historical knowledge. Language and history knowledge are both very useful. I think I can study them all during school, which is really convenient.
I had another dream last night. Although it is the most beautiful dream, every time it makes me more confused the next day. Is there any way to avoid it?
(Half page inked)
Perhaps I should record it here (a few words blackened in ink)? No, you should still be more cautious. "
…
"June 25, 1324"
"I fainted at school today. It was really embarrassing. Fortunately, my mother told me that I was just sick and would be fine after treatment. But her performance was obviously not something that could be easily cured. I saw her eyes were red. Why won’t my mother tell me what the disease is? Is it related to (a few words blackened in ink)?”
…
"March 15, 1325"
"This is the third time I've fainted in school this month. I guess I won't be able to stay in school for long, but fortunately I have finished studying the languages. I just haven't finished learning the history knowledge, but I can't learn it in school. What secret historical knowledge.
What disease do I have? People from the Mother Earth Church have seen me several times. Is there nothing they can do? I thought I'd sort out the information I've discovered about this disease:
① This disease makes me always low on energy and lethargic. If the disease is acute, it will make me faint;
②It gets worse every time after I have a dream;
③As the disease progresses, I will gradually forget the things in the dream and think of other things in the dream.
It turns out I only knew this little about this disease. But if this continues, will I forget all the things in the dream, and even forget what happened when I was a child here? Although many things in the dream have been forgotten. No, why are the forgotten things in my dreams recalled in the context of this illness? And, when I think about it, these things actually do more harm than good to me. This disease is not that simple, it’s like forcing me to (a few words blackened out in ink). what do I do?
Forget it, I think I should have met the public school graduation requirements. If I have to leave, I hope I leave after graduation instead of dropping out of school. It just so happens that my brother is also graduating this year, so I am with him. "
…
"June 12, 1325"
"Farewell, Arnold School."
"My brother took it upon himself to choose the Morgan School of Medicine at Feneport University. Although it is the best medical school in the northern continent, there is no doubt that this is not in line with my father's expectations for him, but my father does not blame my brother."
"August 7, 1325"
"I'm 11 years old. My mother helped me invite Penny and Frank to my birthday party that night. She told me that although I no longer go to school, I should still have my own friends. Penny and Frank are very worried about me. I hope that even if it continues Even though I’m weak, I won’t forget them either.”
"My brother told me after the birthday dinner that he would study hard at Morgan Medical College and find a way to treat me. His eyes were very bright."
…
"August 15, 1325"
“Some people from the Church of the Mother Goddess came today, and they looked very familiar with Mother, as expected.
My mother seemed a bit mysterious in the days before my condition worsened. She was a little pale when she came back a few times, and I even smelled gun smoke on her body. I remember that when I asked my father, his answer was obviously just perfunctory. It was obvious that my father was helping my mother to cover up. However, after my condition worsened, my mother never went out again. I don’t know whether she resigned or took a long leave.
My mother and the church people avoided talking to me for a long time. I only heard words like 'spirituality' and 'escape' outside the door. Well, it seems the church saw something. But I think they must have discovered that I was eavesdropping. Is this deliberately trying to get me to know something about my disease?
Should I reach out to church members? No, wait a minute, there are still some things I haven't figured out yet. "
…
"May 27, 1327"
"After taking the medicine today, my mother still used the charm on me while I was pretending to be asleep. I felt her holding my hand, and then tears seemed to drip onto my hand. That's right, in the past two months, I have felt The effect of the potions and spells has weakened compared to the beginning, so my mother must have noticed it.
(a big glob of ink)
I should feel sad, but why don't I feel anything right now?
(a big glob of ink)
What a cruel world. Either die or lose yourself, no matter how much you know, it is useless. Damn, I should have forgotten this. What a clown. I have been thinking of more and more things recently. Before I think of more dangerous things, I think I should leave voluntarily? "
…
"October 24, 1327"
"My mother looks at me more and more worried, she is getting busier and busier, and her behavior seems to be getting weirder and weirder. Sometimes she will sit by my bed and look at me at night. I hope my mother will not seek help from some cultists for me. Well, she and my father shouldn’t have to pay the price for me.”
…
"November 26, 1327"
"I saw my mother secretly collecting blood. It was very much like preparing for a ritual. My intuition told me that I should immediately seek help from the Mother Goddess Church, and I should indeed ask the church. It's strange why I suddenly remembered the 'Report' The title "Lord"? As far as I know, there is no god with such a title. What kind of evil god is it? Forget it, since I have forgotten it, it shouldn't be a dangerous thing, and the current situation no longer allows me to explore this. ."
…
"November 27, 1327"
"Today I made an excuse to go to St. Diana's Church and went to the confessional to tell the bishop about my mother. The bishop asked a priest to take me to a place that looked like a lounge and waited for a while. Then a lady came and asked me carefully. I had some questions and I remember this lady had come to see me before and she seemed to have a good relationship with my mother. I think her name was Olivia Jones."
…
“November 28, 1327“
"My mother was taken away by Ms. Jones. Ms. Jones told me that my mother only needed to go to the church for a few days, or at most a week, and she would be back.
I asked Ms. Jones, was my mother tempted by some evil entity? Ms. Jones seemed surprised and asked where I knew this. Did my mother tell me that? I told her that I only remembered that it was not my mother who told me, but unfortunately I could not remember the more specific details. Well, that fits my situation. I told them that every time I dream, I forget something, and some inexplicable and wonderful knowledge appears in my mind. I did forget how I knew that. Everything I told them was true, just not everything. If my mother knew, forget it, why would I think about these useless things.
My father was a little disappointed, but he didn't blame me. "
…
"December 3, 1327"
"Mother is back from church. Father is very happy."
…
"December 15, 1327"
"Ms. Jones came to visit. After discussing some matters alone with her mother, she asked to speak to me alone.
She told me about the extraordinary beings very frankly, and told me that the root cause of my illness was that my innate spirituality was constantly escaping, and that I might have some secret connection with some high-sequence beings. Well, that's pretty reasonable to deduce from my description. The church's power can only inhibit the progression of the disease, but cannot cure it.
Ms. Jones speculated that it might help if there was a magic potion that could bind the spirit. Ms. Jones told me with some seriousness that the name of the potion was 'Prisoner'. She seemed hesitant when she told me? I know this, I know the names of 22 pathways and the names of low-sequence potions in some pathways, I just can’t remember the recipes. But as far as I know, this is just a temporary solution, but there is no other way. What was I resisting before?
Ms. Jones is a member of the Extraordinary Team of the Mother Goddess Church. The Extraordinary Team of the Mother Goddess Church is called the Heart of Nature. And if I take the prisoner potion, I will directly become a non-staff member of the Heart of Nature. After all, my mother was originally a member of the Heart of Nature team. "
…
"January 2, 1328"
"My father, mother and brother accompanied me to a New Year's concert. The musician who hosted this concert was Edmundo Conti. His music was a real pleasure, but the name was a bit unfamiliar. This shouldn't be, He should be more famous. My father told me that Mr. Conti was actually a very famous musician in Feneport City more than ten years ago. I just heard that he went to the Southern Continent, but he is back now."
…
Finally turning to a blank page, the hand picked up a slightly slender pen and wrote a new date on the first line.
"January 20, 1328"
The steel plate clicked on the beginning of a new line, stopped, and blurred out a large color block there.
Finally, the pen was lifted up again, skipped over the blurred color blocks, and began to continue writing.
"Ms. Jones and Mr. Conti are coming to visit tomorrow. Mr. Conti will be my music and occult teacher."
As if she no longer wanted to write anything, the girl capped the pen and closed the diary without the patience to wait for the writing to dry. The girl stood up and placed the notebook on the bookshelf not far away.
There was a knock on the door from the study, and the girl walked over and opened the door. At the door was a woman wearing a dark high-collar slim dress and a maid of seventeen or eighteen years old. They were her mother and the maid Hetty. The woman is tall and has brown hair like the girl, which is neatly tied up. Her facial contours had a sense of lines, and her brown eyes seemed to have a gentle smile, but there was also a hint of worry hidden inside.
The woman rubbed Agnes's hair and said softly: "It's time to rest, my Agnes, you still need to drink medicine."
"Okay, Mom." The girl said softly in a slightly childish voice.
