The imperial capital, the imperial city, in the imperial garden.
Next to a rockery, there is an extremely exquisite pavilion. Under the eaves is a plaque with two words inscribed by the emperor: Guiyun!
The stone table in the pavilion was moved aside, revealing the tunnel entrance.
Two small yellow gates were sitting next to each other, leaning on each other and taking a nap. When they were half asleep and half awake, they suddenly heard a noise in the tunnel and jumped up in excitement: "Ah, the official is back! Why is it so early today?"
Hearing that they were approaching, the two quickly stood up, wiped their eyes, straightened their clothes, stood respectfully aside, and saluted in unison: "Welcome the official back to the palace."
Li Kui, wearing Huangmen's clothes, jumped out and said with a loud laugh: "You two idiots, it's the master who came to your house as a guest." As he said this, he reached out and hit his two heads, and they both fainted immediately.
Wu Yong shouted quickly: "Tieniu, be silent!" He and Shi Xiu came out of the tunnel one after another, took out the prepared ropes, tied up the two small yellow doors, and stuffed some hemp kernels in their mouths to prevent him from waking up and calling out. , threw it into the tunnel and moved the stone table back.
After finishing my work, I stood up straight and looked in all directions, oh! What a garden, it’s really——
There is a jasper pond, a white jade platform, and strange flowers and trees all over the stone cliffs. Immortals visit the small pavilion along the winding path, and the Emperor's son comes with the cool mist and fragrant wind.
Green deer hold sesame in their hands, cranes dance, and apes hold fruits and brocade scales. There is a golden umbrella tree in the middle, which was planted by Taizu after he was drunk.
Have these three people ever seen such an exquisite and grand garden? Looking up, there was nothing that was not worthy of appreciation or appreciation. The three people with six eyes all looked at it and couldn't help but sigh: "What an official, all the blessings in the world are enjoyed by him alone. "
They must have driven away the idlers in advance, but at this moment, this huge garden was actually empty.
The three of them let go of their arms and walked out of the pavilion. Wu Yong took the lead in white clothes, and Li Kui and Shi Xiu followed side by side, swaying like little yellow gates waiting for the emperor, and started strolling around the garden in a grand manner.
After wandering around for a while, I happened to come across a waterside pavilion. Probably because of the cool weather, it was tightly surrounded by colorful curtains and gauze. When the wind blew, it swayed melodiously, just like the jade palace in the fairy palace.
The three of them walked into the waterside pavilion, and saw a long table of golden nanmu carved with dragons and phoenixes in the middle. It had gold plates and jade bowls filled with exquisite pastries and rare fruits and melons.
Li Kui said happily: "Oh, this official is really polite. He knew that Tieniu and I were coming to his house as a guest, so he prepared these meals early."
He immediately picked up something he had never seen before and stuffed it into his mouth.
Wu Yong and Shi Xiu also ate a few, and it turned out that their cooking skills were indeed superior to those of ordinary people.
While eating, Li Kui looked into the water and saw many fat koi carp, swaying and swimming. He couldn't help but laugh and said: "Brothers, look, this emperor's fish is so fat. It’s delicious when eaten roasted.”
While he was talking, the remains of the cakes in his mouth fell into the water. The koi fish came in to compete for food. Their round mouths came out of the water. The gluttonous one even left the water and only twisted on the heads of its kind. , Li Kui was watching and laughing, but suddenly he frowned and felt unstoppable abdominal pain. He hurriedly covered his stomach with his hands and shouted: "Ah, I want to go out! Where is the toilet?"
Before he finished speaking, there was a burst of intestinal rumbling, and seventeen or eight farts came out like a barrage of cannons. This was called excrement fart, and it was extremely smelly. Wu Yong and Shi Xiu both threw the food in their hands angrily, and Wu Yong covered it. Nose said: "Almonds are good for moisturizing the intestines and laxative. Who told you to eat a lot? But you also picked and ate a lot of persimmons. These are cold things. How can you not get upset?"
Shi Xiu jumped to her feet and said: "What are you looking for in the toilet? Just find a hidden place to relieve yourself. Wait for a while and carefully pull your crotch."
Li Kui grimaced, hunched over, covering his lower abdomen with one hand, and holding the back door with the other. He looked around and saw a strange rock not far away, with several extremely dense flowers and trees nearby. He immediately trotted all the way and got in.
Shi Xiu and Wu Yong were so intoxicated by the fart that they could no longer stand, so they both walked out of the waterside pavilion to catch their breath.
At this moment, a burst of noise of warblers and swallows was heard in the distance. Shi Xiu and Wu Yong were shocked and called out quickly: "Tieniu, someone is coming, hide yourself and wait for them to pass." , we will call you!"
Li Kui had just squatted down behind the flowers, waiting to be released. Hearing these words, he did not dare to make a mistake. He gritted his teeth, blinked hard, and clenched his fists tightly, trying to endure with all his strength.
Shi Xiu and Wu Yong each found a big tree and hid behind it. When they poked their eyes out, they saw five or six girls in colorful costumes. The eldest was fourteen or fifteen years old, and the youngest was only seven or eight years old. They are all like jade girls in front of the Bodhisattva's throne, chattering and approaching.
The two of them retracted their heads and waited for them to pass by. Unexpectedly, a few girls came closer, followed the path, and headed straight towards the waterside pavilion.
Shi Xiu and Wu looked at each other: It's over! No wonder there was a lot of food prepared in the waterside pavilion. It turned out that it was not prepared for us.
After a while, the girls all exclaimed: "Oh, is it that greedy cat that stole the food on the table?" Immediately, someone shouted: "Oh! It stinks here! Who secretly cheated on Xu Gong? ?”
Immediately, the girls all blushed and ran out of the waterside pavilion. One of the girls shouted: "Sister Fujin, is there a monster in the garden and stole your treat?"
Another older one said: "Where is the monster? It must be some idiot with unclean hands and feet who stole the food but didn't know how to put it away neatly."
The young one said unconvinced: "It must be a monster. If it was done by a human, how could there be such a stinky person in the palace?"
The oldest girl shouted coquettishly: "Okay, don't talk nonsense, wait until I call someone to find out!"
Shi Xiu was hiding behind a tree. When this voice reached his ears, his soul couldn't help but shake: "Ah! It's her!"
In the morning at the apricot cheese shop, he heard someone say four words in total, "No, no, no, no." But at this moment, he could instantly identify with the words, and it was unforgettable.
"So she is a palace maid... No! How can a palace maid sneak out of the palace to play? She must be the emperor of this dynasty."
Daughters of royal families in the Han and Tang Dynasties were all called princesses. In the Song Dynasty, in the third year of Zhenghe, the officials listened to Cai Jing's suggestion and changed the title of princess to "Emperor Ji", following the title of "Wang Ji" in the Zhou Dynasty.
Shi Xiu's mind raced as he guessed the other party's identity, which was both sweet and bitter for a moment.
Sweet one, the person I am attracted to is indeed so extraordinary. Bitter person, if she is so extraordinary, wouldn’t it be even more beyond my reach as a prodigal son like me, Shi Xiu? For a moment, my mind was wandering, and all kinds of strange thoughts came to me. How could I know what night it was?
For a man as smart and alert as he is, his spiritual aperture is immediately filled with just a hint of love. This shows that the word love is not a good thing.
When Wu Yong saw that little bitch going to call someone, he felt anxious. He looked at Shi Xiu repeatedly, but saw that his eyes were empty, his expression was strange, and his mind was strange. Could this brother be possessed?
At this critical moment, Li Kui's patience finally reached its limit. He only heard a low roar of pain from behind the flowers and trees, and then there was an endless crackling sound, like thunder rolling, a river bursting its banks, like the sound of war drums, and the sound of killing everywhere.
The shock made all the emperors dumbfounded, biting their fingers and trembling. The youngest emperor even cried loudly: "There really is a stinky monster in the garden!"
There are different religions: cracking embankments, floods, roaring waves, lightning and thunder, stinking monsters. I left a mark here when I visited, and the strong wind and rain hit the plantains.
(End of chapter)
