Many years later, when Wang Tu, the guardian of the marsh, stood in front of the marsh he had guarded for decades, he would definitely think of that distant afternoon when the magical Lao Deng resolutely opened his arms and jumped into the curve drawn by the marsh.
On this day, there were three ruthless jobs in the city that became the talk of Beiliang citizens after dinner.
The first tough job is the two zombie corpses that are extremely artistic. No one could have imagined that a zombie with a hideous face could die in such a humorous and enjoyable way. Someone even made a one-to-one clay sculpture of the two zombies and prepared them for exhibition in major cities.
The theme of the exhibition is: Is it cold on top or hot on the bottom?
The second piece of fun was Li Kuan, the famous display master of Beiliang City, who gave a two-hour speech at the market entrance with the theme of "Creating a Civilized City".
In this speech, he talked about Beiliang customs, how to cook the tofu skin from Grandma Li's house next door, and from the beginning of the prehistoric times to looking forward to the future. He enriched the content of his speech by focusing on "does the emperor's family use gold hoes?"
In the end, Li Kuan talked for two full hours, even telling Mrs. Li that she had a heat stroke, and then he got off the stage still unfinished. Everyone was very happy to hear this. From then on, the first words he said to his friends when they saw him were not "Have you eaten?" but "Did you review the twenty-one points in Li Kuan's speech?", which was really a strange sight.
The last one was an old man.
An old man traveling in the snow.
The job of guarding the swamp can be said to be the most humble and leisurely job in the entire Ming Dynasty civil service system.
It's humble because everyone knows that swamps are not very friendly either in terms of smell or appearance, so the people who guard the swamps often have a smell about them and are not liked by others.
The reason for leisure is that compared to positions that require great responsibility and dedication such as looking after warehouses, silver coins, weapons, etc., the swamp guard has no one to even sleep when he is working, let alone deserting. As long as you don't go swimming, no one will care about you at all.
how? Are you afraid that someone will steal the excrement and put it on a plate?
As a leisurely little yamen servant, Wang Tu, wearing his uniform as always, wandered to the Beiliang swamp and started another miserable day.
Holding his nose, he opened the huge swamp door and took a casual glance inside. Wang Tu opened the valve connecting various public toilets in Beiliang. After hearing the surging sound, he quickly closed the swamp door and walked to the hut on the side. , changed clothes, made tea leisurely, and lay on the bed rocking.
His daily job is to open the valve in the morning and close the valve at night. If there is a problem, go to those civil engineering students from Beiliang Taixue to check it, and the government will reimburse it after the inspection. No problem, you can just hang out in the smell-isolated cabin all day long, do nothing, just drink tea and sleep, whatever you want.
"I am originally from Wollongong, a laid-back person~~~"
Humming a little tune, Wang Tu took a sip of tea with a satisfied look on his face.
Although this job is not popular, it is really leisurely. As a person who regards Li Kuan as a role model in life, Wang Tu feels that he was born to see the swamp.
Boom, boom, boom.
At this moment, there was a knock on the door that had never been knocked before. Suddenly, Wang Tu shuddered and almost dropped the teacup in his hand.
He raised his head warily and gently put the teacup aside. Wang Tu is just lazy, not stupid. He knows that no one will covet the thing he is guarding, so if someone comes to visit unexpectedly, there is only one possibility...
This person likes me.
Wang Tu swallowed his saliva. This place was so remote that it was almost impossible for anyone to get lost. After all, if you get lost, the most common problem is your eyes and brain, but your nose can't also suffer from it. Thinking of this, Wang Tu gently held the dagger on the door beside him, put it behind his back, walked to the door, and slowly said:
"who?"
"Come to visit."
As soon as these words came out, Wang Tu put the dagger aside.
He took out the powerful crossbow.
This is no ordinary gangster.
This is a mentally ill gangster.
As a dedicated government official who has kept in mind the "Beiliang City Patrol Code, 12th Edition by Li Kuan", Wang Tu naturally must be 120% alert for such a mentally ill person. Holding a powerful crossbow in his hand, he took a few steps back and asked warily:
"Why are you here to visit? Tell me clearly!"
Whenever the other party said that he liked the environment of this place, Wang Tu would just put the crossbow in his mouth without saying a word. But after a brief silence, the mentally ill old man slowly spoke:
"I am a doctor from Shangjing Taixue. I was invited to visit the biogas digesters in your city and learn from your advanced biogas collection experience so that I can contribute to the city creation of Shangjing."
Hearing this, Wang Tu breathed a sigh of relief. If anyone else would come to this place besides myself and the bunch of people studying civil engineering, it would probably be the only one who would come, such an old scholar who cares about the people.
Wang Tu put away his dagger and crossbow, stepped forward, opened the door, and found a white-haired old man standing outside. This old man has a kind face, gentle words, and short hair. He looks like a construction material at first glance.
"Old sir, do you want to go in and take a look?"
There was no defense, not even a trace of doubt. As soon as he saw the sparse hair and thick dark circles under his eyes, Wang Tu concluded that the old man was a construction worker.
"May I?"
The old man was obviously stunned for a moment. Obviously, Mr. Gui Daozi did not expect that his plan to visit the marsh pond would be accomplished so easily. He hesitated and asked, "Can I go visit by myself?"
"That's great."
Hearing this, Wang Tu, who had no desire to visit the giant toilet, nodded repeatedly. He was originally prepared to be smoked together, but he didn't expect that the old man was quite kind and actually prepared to enjoy life alone.
"Then...I went?"
Looking at the key handed over, Gui Daozi once wondered if it was a trap. He raised his head, and a dirty reflection flashed in his eyes. The next second, Wang Tu in front of him looked a little dazed, and seemed to be in a strange state.
"Has this swamp been modified recently?"
After hearing Gui Daozi's inquiry, Wang Tu scratched his head and replied in a daze: "Yes, yesterday when we were building the city, Li Kuan felt that the land next to the marsh was fertile and suitable for planting trees, so he opened a few flower beds and planted some. plant."
"Tell me, do you have any conspiracy?"
Gui Daozi stretched out his hand and placed it firmly on the other person's head, his voice filled with confusion.
Wang Tu was stunned, but he couldn't think and could only answer instinctively.
"have."
Suddenly, a strange smile appeared on Gui Daozi's face. He sneered and continued to ask:
"Tell me your plot."
A look of resistance instantly appeared on Wang Tu's face, but he was only a second-level spiritual energy master. If Gui Daozi hadn't been worried about alerting the enemy, he would have become a lonely soul by now. Gui Daozi made him wet the bed as many times as a child. Out.
"My conspiracy...conspiracy..."
Suddenly, Wang Tu roared with a ferocious expression:
"Tomorrow I will close all the public toilet valves near Mrs. Wang's house and smoke her for three days and two nights. She dares to call me a civil dog! I don't work overtime even though I have hair. How dare she call me a civil dog? ! This is unreasonable!”
Gui Daozi's face froze, and then he was silent for a long time.
After a while, he threw Wang Tu on the bed, snorted coldly, walked to the swamp gate, and murmured quietly while unlocking the door.
"This old lady scolded her really hard."
