Li Kuan, a piece of trash.
Note that this is not an evaluation given to him by others, nor is it an insult from someone with ulterior motives.
This sentence is Li Kuan's self-introduction.
In the early morning, with the first loud howl of someone's rooster, Li Kuan opened his eyes and started a new wasteful day. There is no beauties to serve, and no dog slaves shouting "How many days are you having today, sir?". There is only the married wife combing her long hair on the side, revealing her beautiful back.
To wash up, I used an ordinary iron basin and simple soap, but I thoroughly cleaned every corner of my face. Use a cloth bought for five copper coins on the roadside to wipe off the water stains on your face, and then take out a simple toothbrush to clean your mouth carefully.
With the help of his virtuous wife, he changed into a somewhat cumbersome bright green official robe, and then wore the black horn around his waist. Although the man is a little fatter and his appearance is not as handsome as in previous years, he feels more approachable.
After gently kissing his wife on the cheek, the man straightened his official hat, sat on a somewhat dilapidated carriage, wandered to the county government office, and started a wonderful life of idleness.
"Sir, traces of monsters were found in the fields of Li San's family yesterday."
Facing the yamen servant's report, Li Kuan smiled slightly and said confidently:
"Please help me from Taixuefu."
"Sir, a few days ago, there was a strange phenomenon in the eastern village. Some people wanted to donate the rare white fox. Look..."
Facing the report from another government official, Li Kuan smiled slightly and said confidently:
"Please help me from the Knowledge Pavilion."
"Sir, the wealthy businessman who wanted to contract the wilderness north of the city is here again. He brought a lot of jewelry and gold in his car. Look..."
Facing the government servant with a flattering smile on his face, Li Kuan smiled slightly and said confidently:
"Drag me down, give me twenty rolls of cane, and then ask the audit department to investigate me, preferably for three days and two nights."
After hearing this, two old government officials immediately walked out and skillfully picked up the new government official and dragged him down to the county government office. The sticks flew up and hit the new government official's buttocks, which were red, white, blue and green. I opened a dyeing workshop and it was colorful.
"Okay, is there anything else you want to report?"
Li Kuan tore off the paper on the side and wrote the "confession" skillfully. He raised his head and glanced at several county offices. Then he lowered his head and said while writing:
"If not, please read the [Beiliang City Patrol Rules] that I updated yesterday, and then please do your own thing."
Hearing this, the county officials skillfully took out a scroll full of text and read it together.
[Beiliang City Patrol Code 12th Edition by Li Kuan]
[1: This code applies to new and old government officials, out-of-town government officials, seconded government officials, and government officials who have not signed a government contract. Please strictly abide by this Code and keep its contents in mind. Please remember, knowing your mistakes and making mistakes can lead to disaster]
[2: The patrol time of the Yamen is from 7 am to 5 pm every day. During this time, the patrol personnel must work in pairs and maintain a friendly and kind smile at all times. Please note that during the patrol in Beiliang City, apart from this code, the only thing you can trust is the Ming Law]
[Three: During the city tour, if you see a two-story wooden building with a "Everywhere Access" plaque, do not talk to anyone around it, and do not make any emotional moves. Keep smiling and pass by calmly】
[Four: If you are spoken to near anywhere, stay polite! Be polite! Be polite! Treat the other person as Li Kuan’s biological father, without any disrespect]
[5: When passing by Taixue, do not have any curiosity about Taixue. Do "don't look, don't listen, don't speak." But if there is a voice in Taixue calling you, you must respond immediately and ask your colleagues to return to the county office immediately to report]
[Six: When you encounter a beggar, a psychopath, or a naked person, please identify the other person’s identity. If you find that the other party is acting like a spiritual master, please stay away immediately and report it to the county government. If you find that the other person is similar to the special person "Zhou Li", stay away immediately, stay away, stay away! 】
[Seven: If you find a man being called "Zhou Li" or "Xiao Li" by others, please keep your distance immediately, but don't act strange and patrol the city as usual. If the man talks to you, keep smiling and polite, treat him as Li Kuan’s biological father, and don’t show any disrespect]
[8: If you encounter someone engaging in illegal activities such as organizing gambling, collective prostitution, selling five-stone powder, etc., arrest them immediately and report them to the county government. And pay attention to whether Zhou Li appears in the action. If so, please stay away]
[9: When you see a strange plant, don’t touch it, stay away immediately, don’t talk to the strange plant, don’t make a wish, and you’re not allowed to try to **** a plant with a cylindrical mouth, fuckers, are you perverts? 】
"Don't look at me, I've never done it."
After seeing the last item, all the government officials shook their heads, indicating that they would not do such a perverted thing. After confirming these slightly modified rules for patrolling the city, the government officials greeted Li Kuan and began their nervous patrol time.
After a moment, Li Kuan was the only one left in the county government who was working on the case. After a moment, Li Kuan nodded with satisfaction as he looked at the smooth and elegant confession in his hand. Then he picked up the teacup beside him, rocked the chair gently, and squinted his eyes in the summer wind, half asleep.
However, all the beauty and peace were broken when that token appeared in front of him.
"Jinyiwei?"
Looking at the bronze medal in the hands of the out-of-breath city gate soldiers, Li Kuan suddenly woke up, but he quickly reacted, smiled slightly, and said calmly:
"Since they are Jin Yiwei, let them come in."
If it were other officials who were suddenly asked to check the water meter by the guards from other places, they would have ordered a coffin to be laid below. Because the appearance of the foreign Jin Yiwei means that something about you has been discovered. The court is worried that you are connected with the local Jin Yiwei, so they will let the foreign Jin Yiwei come and kill you with a knife.
However, Li Kuan is not afraid, and the reason for not being afraid is simple.
I would rather do nothing than make a mistake.
Looking at the tea worth only one tael of silver in his cup, Li Kuan sneered. As a smart man, on his first day as county magistrate, Li Kuan read the Abacus Case file from beginning to end and memorized it backwards and forwards. Later, he left himself the "Three Nos".
Don't be greedy, don't do things, don't make mistakes.
As long as you don't do anything and aren't greedy, you won't make mistakes, and you won't follow your predecessor in the position of county magistrate and be made into slices of Fuding meat.
During his tenure, Li Kuan was not greedy for any money or did anything, but he never made any mistakes. Every day, his life is either compiling a summary of the rules for patrolling the city, self-examination, or writing a confession in advance.
Li Kuan has absolute confidence in Jin Yiwei's review. Because Jinyiwei only investigates serious crimes such as corruption, illegality, and rebellion. As for people like Li Kuan who do nothing and delegate power, Jinyiwei will not give you a shit.
Soon, Li Kuan felt unprecedented regret for his decision.
