The early morning sunlight filtered through the glass window, which was a bit dazzling. I quickly stood up and took a look at the street downstairs. There was not a single pedestrian. Maybe because the COVID-19 pandemic is not over yet, occasionally a car will pass by. I have been out of work for more than three months. Fortunately, the city's lockdown was lifted on March 15th, but I still don't dare to go out. There are very few colleagues who go to work in the company, so few that I have almost no impression. They should think that life is more important than making money. In fact, I am the same. I am trembling every day for fear of something unexpected happening. If I don't have to eat or pay rent, then I will be like them and not go to work. I reluctantly got dressed, washed up, put on a mask, and got ready to go to the company.
Today is April 3, 2020. The new coronavirus has been raging in the city of Wuhan for nearly half a year. People in the whole city are panicked. Many people have lost their lives in this disaster, and many people are quarantined. , there are still people lying on hospital beds. Thinking of this, I am glad that I am still alive. The first thing I do when I get up every day is check my phone to see the epidemic trends across the country, where there are new patients and where there are confirmed cases.
My name is Lin Feng. I am a college student who graduated from a not-so-preferred university. I work in a real estate company. It is more appropriate to say that I work than to hang out. I clock in and out every day just for a basic salary of two thousand yuan, which is barely enough. My month's rent and food.
Suddenly the phone rang. Ye Ming, the team leader in the company's WeChat group, said he had a cold and asked everyone to pay attention to safety. The WeChat group was quiet, no one responded, and it was so quiet that it was scary. It is a very scary thing to catch a cold at this juncture. The initial symptom of COVID-19 is a cold, and the team leader is unlucky enough. I recalled whether I had any contact with the team leader in the past few days, and my mind went blank, with no impression at all. I should first think about what I did when I went to work these days. I do the same thing every day, get up, go to the company, clock in, watch a movie, eat instant noodles, and then clock out, but I don’t seem to have seen a single person. I tried to remember, for fear of forgetting any details. I clearly remember the few movies I watched in the past few days, but I have no memory of the people I met.
Suddenly a slender white hand jumped into my mind. It was a right hand with a ring on the index finger. This hand patted my shoulder when I got off work yesterday. Is that the team leader's hand? No, it must be a woman's hand, because I have never seen a man with such beautiful hands, slender and white. If she is a woman, why didn’t she apply nail polish? Women usually apply nail polish of various colors or patterns on their nails. This makes me even more unsure. I think the focus should be on the ring on the index finger. Who wears a ring on their index finger? I usually don't pay attention to these at all. I am not a careful observer. This makes me regretful and regret my usual carelessness. I closed my eyes and tried hard to find the person wearing the ring on the index finger of my right hand, as if I was groping for the exit in the dark. I felt that the exit was very close, as if it was right in front of me. A figure suddenly appeared in my mind, Zhao Meng, my high school classmate. In my memory, she always wears a ring on her right index finger.
How could it be Zhao Meng? We haven't contacted each other for five years. I don't know where she is. How could she suddenly appear in front of me? I tried hard to find the memory of the right hand with the ring on it, but found nothing.
As I was thinking about it, I found that I was a little dizzy. I touched my forehead and it felt so hot. I had a fever. I suddenly felt a chill in my heart and goosebumps all over my body. Am I infected with the new coronavirus? No, even having a fever does not necessarily mean you are infected with COVID-19. I used what little medical knowledge I had and the first step I thought of was to cool down. I quickly filled a basin of cold water, wetted the towel, wrung it out, and covered my forehead with the wet towel to cool down.
Five minutes passed and I was still dizzy. I vaguely remembered that there were a few cold medicines that had been there for a long time in the drawer. I didn’t care how many they were or whether they were expired or not, so I swallowed them all. I suddenly felt dizzy and fell on the bed.
I don’t know how long it took, but in my drowsiness I opened my eyes. What caught my eye was the right hand with the ring on the index finger that I remembered. It was still so beautiful, so slender and white. I wanted to raise my head to see who she was, but I found that I couldn't move. I wanted to ask who she was, but I couldn't make any sound. I couldn't speak with all my strength. The surroundings were quiet. , I can't do anything.
At this moment I suddenly realized that this might be a dream. Several times I dreamed that a thief came to my dormitory, but I couldn't move. I wanted to shout to catch the thief, but the words that came out were very unclear. I didn't know what I was talking about. I struggled to wake up from the dream and found out. It was just a false alarm.
I tried to struggle hard, but found that it was useless. I wanted to shout for help, but there was no sound. It was completely different from the situation in my previous dreams. I realized now that this might not be a dream. My heart was filled with fear, am I going to die? I never thought I would have to face death so early. I haven't gotten married yet, haven't been in a relationship yet, and haven't repaid my parents who gave me birth and raised me, and I'm so unwilling to do so. I think back on the life I have lived, an ordinary life, ordinary parents, an ordinary life. I can’t think of any highlights or proud moments in my life. Although it is ordinary, I wish I could have another look at my birth and care. My parents!
Everyone who reaches the end of his life will think back on the unforgettable people and things in his life journey, and there will always be some regrets, some sadness, and some nostalgia. Those fragments of memory, like meteors streaking across the starry sky, always tug at the heartstrings inadvertently. At that moment, the heart will feel a little painful, but slowly it will be like fine wine, making people remember it for a long time.
I'm trying hard to find things that I can't forget. Wetting the bed when I was six years old, losing a fight with my classmates, burning down the neighbor's cowshed, pulling a female classmate's hair in class and being punished by the teacher. Do these count? The more I think about it, the more embarrassed I feel. But it’s too frustrating for me to die like this. I haven’t done anything to be proud of.
My eyelids were overwhelmed and started to fight. I struggled to keep them open. I have only one belief at the moment. I can't die yet. Even if I die, I have to do something to be proud of first. I try hard to reach out and grab that beautiful right hand. At this moment, I am more than willing but not strong enough. I feel dissatisfied. He kept chanting: "Move! You must move, work hard!" But everything he did was in vain.
Suddenly that beautiful right hand grabbed me and pulled hard, and I fell into darkness.
