Some people are born in Rome, and some people are born to be cattle and horses.
There are other people,
Even if you want to be a cow or a horse, you can't be a cow or a horse. You can only be the mud under the feet of the cow and horse.
…
Li Ping'an got up early in the dark to cook so that the old man would have something to eat when he came back from working in the fields.
Breakfast is gruel.
Put more rice, eat this at noon, beat an egg, pour some soy sauce and sesame oil into the porridge, wash some pickled sauerkraut, it will be enough for the two of you to eat for two meals.
"It's already good if I'm not hungry."
Li Ping'an, who had a full meal when he was a child, understands how rare it is to have a full meal, and he thanks the country from the bottom of his heart. After all, as poor households, the two of them would have starved to death without the help of the state and the monthly minimum allowance of 1,170 yuan.
As for the mother...
Dead, dead before he can remember.
The old man didn't want to mention it, and he didn't dare to ask.
It was only learned from the occasional rumors among the villagers that his mother was mentally ill, and she went to the public pond and drowned herself when she fell ill.
The above family background has developed Li Ping'an's character of being withdrawn and taciturn, and a bit slovenly. No one wanted to play with him since he was a child.
Li Ping'an sometimes thinks that if he were like other people's families, he would have a mother to call to, a house to live in that does not leak from the air, a TV to watch when he comes home from school, a mobile phone and various toys to play with, and everything to be there. Just eat meat.
It's a pity that I can only think about it.
The reality is that he and the old man can only squeeze into this pigsty-like adobe and tiled house. It is dark and narrow, with mosquitoes in the summer and freezing in the winter.
Li Pingan likes school.
Because the school classrooms are spacious, bright, and equipped with fans, there are many students of the same age.
Although they don't like playing with him.
The teacher is also very good, at least I don't hate him. Of course, I can't say that I like it.
After all, Li Ping'an is not smart and has inherited the old man's dullness. It would be good if he can pass the exam.
Who would be impressed by such a student who has nothing outstanding about him?
The old man said that he would try to let him finish junior high school instead of high school. He was not a student and his family did not have the money.
When Li Ping'an heard this, he just silently picked up the gruel in the bowl.
He wants to study.
If life continues like this, Li Pingan will probably go out to work after finishing junior high school like many children from rural areas. Find a black factory, work 10 hours a day, and get a salary of two to three thousand. Although it is less than others, it is still better than just receiving subsistence allowance.
"Maybe I can save some money and buy two mobile phones, one for me and one for the old man."
He had a sweet dream.
But God, this fucking thing, often doesn't fulfill your wishes.
The old man is dead.
Die in the ground.
I went out to work in the bright sun, fell down on the field ridge, and could not get up again. When they were discovered, they were already frozen.
Li Pingan cried loudly, and after crying, he stared at the old man's body, looking at his dark, thin and wrinkled face, his gray hair, his severely bent spine, and his eyes closed tightly.
Everyone else believed him when he said he was his grandfather.
Anyway, dad is gone too.
The funeral was very simple. After all, Li Ping'an didn't have the money to organize a big one. Several older cousins helped him take the ashes back from the crematorium. They found a Feng Shui master to choose a cemetery, buried them, and covered them with soil.
Looking at the round earth bag, Li Ping'an didn't know what to say.
"Study hard and at least finish junior high school. When the time comes, let your brother Hui help you find a job so that you can at least support yourself. Although your father doesn't say anything, he always hopes that you will live a better life than him in the future. He told me He is a good-for-nothing. He is old and knows nothing. He can only turn over two acres of land in his life. Being able to raise you is the most proud thing in his life..."
Li Ping'an listened silently to his uncle's ramble.
The children of his cousin's family hid in the house under their mother's scolding, looking at him as if they were avoiding him.
…
Books still have to be read, and life has to go on.
Only one person ate the boiled egg porridge.
"Do you want to go to boarding school?"
The old village chief came to ask.
"If you live on campus, you don't have to worry about air leakage or rain in the dormitory. There are fans. Even though you live with other students, you can make friends."
I'm afraid that if he stays alone for a long time, he will be prone to problems.
Alas, no matter what, we are all from our own village. For several generations up, we are all one family.
I can help you a little bit.
"Don't worry about money. You are an orphan. I will tell the brigade and your principal to help them apply for exemption of tuition fees, accommodation fees, tuition and miscellaneous fees, etc. If you can get into high school and university, continue studying. There are also bonuses in the village for undergraduates. .”
"Your family's land is reserved for you. When you work and save money, you will come back and build a house someday. It will be useful. I will watch over it for you and won't let anyone take it."
The old village chief chatted with him for a long time before leaving.
…
Li Ping'an finally chose to move to the school, but he didn't move completely.
He couldn't bear to leave the old man.
I rest in the school dormitory at noon and come back to sleep at night. I can also cook at home and take it to school.
Lying on the simple wooden bed at night, he would chatter to himself about what happened in school during the day, such as so-and-so making the teacher angry, and so-and-so being naughty and scribbling in the little girl's exercise book.
It seems like the old man is still around.
If life goes on like this, Li Ping'an will grow up day by day, stop studying one day, go out to the society and find an ordinary job to make a living, learn to save some money, build a house and marry a wife in the future, it will be good.
But, God, this fucking thing often doesn't work out what you want.
I don't know which night started, Li Ping'an felt a little uncomfortable.
Just a stomachache.
To be precise, it was the right upper abdomen, under the ribs, and the pain kept him awake at night.
At first I thought it was a gastrointestinal problem, so I went to the drugstore to get some medicine. However, it still hurt after eating, at night, and during the day.
"Just be patient."
It's not that he doesn't want to go to a big hospital. Seeing a doctor in a big hospital is very expensive. He has never entered the gate of the County People's Hospital in his whole life.
Li Ping'an became thinner and thinner, as thin as skin and bones, and began to lose hair.
The uncle asked him if he didn't want to eat.
In fact, no. Li Ping'an was afraid of hunger when he was a child, so he would eat every day, but the food he ate didn't seem to be of any use.
Until one day, he fainted in the classroom, shocking everyone.
The cousin rushed over and, together with the teacher, put him in the ambulance.
The test results came out, late stage liver cancer.
How could a 14-year-old child have terminal liver cancer?
Everyone can't figure it out.
"Am I going to have no more books to read in the future?"
Li Pingan stared blankly at the birds flying by the window.
The cousin was silent.
Terminal cancer, everyone who has heard of it knows what it means.
Li Ping'an only stayed in the hospital for two days and then went home.
His cousin helped him pack his things from school, especially his books, and then took a sick leave.
"After I recover, I will still go to school."
Li Ping'an barely pushed himself up, sat in front of a simple table and chair, and slowly flipped through his books under the dim light.
The handwriting is so ugly. If I had known earlier, I would have asked Li Fang how to make the handwriting look good.
I don’t know this question. I wish I had known better and asked the math teacher boldly.
What does this classical Chinese passage mean? If only I had known better than to lose focus in class.
…
"Teacher, why doesn't Li Ping'an come to class?"
Finally, a classmate couldn't help but ask.
Although Li Pingan has little presence in the class and everyone is unwilling to talk to him, the people who come to study here are all children from several nearby villages. They know each other's details very well. They have also heard about Li Pingan's family situation.
"Li Ping'an is sick. He will come back naturally after he recovers." The head teacher forced a smile.
Unfortunately, when the new semester began in the spring of the next year, everyone could not wait to see the dark, thin, wooden and taciturn young man.
After graduation, the whole class took a group photo together, but the boy was nowhere to be seen.
The young man...
Probably to be a carefree bird.
