The concept of "death" came to Qiao Yu too early.
Like any child, she asked the dean and grandma what "death" is; and like any adult, the dean told her that it is when people go to distant places and become stars in the sky and will not come back. .
Some children will regard it as a very romantic thing, and some will continue to ask questions, such as "Is it true that I won't come back?" and "But what should I do with him or her?"
Whenever this happens, the adults will always show a complicated and emotional smile, touch the children's heads, and say, "You will know when you grow up."
Young children are supposed to live in fairy tales and happy endings. It should be.
The first time Qiao Yu saw "death" was last year.
When she was four years old, there was a rare thin layer of snow in the yard. When the snowflakes fell on her palms, she could see the crystal light blue. That color was pure and magnificent, a dreamy color that most little girls liked. Tie.
So Qiao Yu hid the lower half of her face in a thick scarf and the tips of her ears were red, and quietly went out to watch the snow.
She avoided the noisy snowball fight area and ran towards the corner where few people visited in the past.
Then, Qiao Yu saw the churning darkness.
In a remote corner of the orphanage, there was the cry of a small animal. It was shrill, shrill, and the color was like a bubbling quagmire.
It was intense pain, deep despair.
Rich emotions swept through Qiao Yu's brain through colors and sounds. Her temples buzzed, and she suddenly lost strength and leaned against the wall.
The children surrounding the kitten didn't notice her, they were still immersed in their games.
The gray blocks are mixed with a few bright and dazzling red and green stripes, which are the children's happy laughter.
They put rusty iron pieces through the kitten's ears. The brighter the sounds in their mouths, the darker the cat's meows.
Darken, darken again.
Eventually the color faded away like a bubble.
"Huh? Why doesn't it bark?" one of the children asked.
"It's not moving either!" said another.
"Ah, I know, it's broken!" said the third person, "Jingjing, you broke it by playing with it!"
"What, it's not fun!" Jingjing complained.
Children of several years old do not understand the concept of life.
If you don’t understand life and death, if you don’t understand consideration for others and empathy, you can experience innocent and cruel happiness more than pain.
They threw away the bloody "toys", snowflakes fell, and the coldness on the eyelids slowly soothed Qiao Yu who was huddled in the corner.
She had been opening her mouth just now, trying to breathe, but she could only exhale, not inhale. It was as if someone had strangled her slender neck and blocked the path to "living", so her ears were blocked by the banging and her heart was pounding. He was beating hard, his hands and feet couldn't use any strength, and even the liquid in his blood vessels became cold.
From that day on, Qiao Yu knew what "death" was.
When the sound of a living thing continues to grow dim, he, she, it is dying.
When their voices become completely darker than the night and then disappear, they are truly dead.
Then Qiao Yu further understood two concepts.
What darkens the voices of other people or animals is bad and bad - she has already felt the meaning of the words "despair" and "pain" firsthand before she has learned the words "despair" and "pain", so, in this In the mind of the little four-year-old, she naturally thought that "others cannot be allowed to feel this way."
So those who bully other people and small animals are bad people.
The opposite is good people.
He is not yet old enough to grow old, but he can already distinguish between good and evil.
If some parents who are currently troubled by their children's violent and willful behavior knew about it, I don't know how envious they would be.
They will think about how sensible and well-behaved this child is, and how easy it is to raise him.
The people who want to adopt Qiao Yu think so too.
Children who lack the care of their parents and relatives at an early age are more sensitive and fragile than their peers. Their "self-centeredness" is different from the "self-centeredness" of spoiled children. They are both selfish. The former is based on "I lack, so "I am more greedy and more afraid of losing", but the latter thinks "I am born with this, so give me more".
So many of the adults who came to the orphanage took a fancy to Qiao Yu at first sight.
She is a girl, she looks smart and cute, she is quiet and not noisy, she is very polite, and she will take the initiative to pour water for others. She is just a little shy and introverted, which is not a big problem, but makes her more lovable.
They knelt down and asked Qiao Yu: "Will you go home with us?"
At that time, Qiao Yu was already seven and a half years old, but she was still small and looked at the adults' extended hands helplessly.
She tried to believe it, tried to tell the adults, "I can see voices."
When the first words are spoken, they usually smile and say: "Silly boy, that's hearing the sound, not seeing it."
Then Qiao Yu hesitated and said persistently: "I can see the sound, it has color, I can see the color."
Then the adults' smiling expressions would freeze, and they would look at the dean. Although they didn't say it clearly, Qiao Yu could understand with their eyes.
She knew they were silently asking: Is there something wrong with this child's brain?
So the friendly and kind adults who had been smiling at Qiao Yu before retreated. Some of them (mostly aunts) didn't mind and still wanted to give her a warm home, but Qiao Yu took the initiative to retreat. .
She felt she needed a "kindred spirit."
Only people of the same kind can trust her and understand her.
Children's world is simple and clear. When listening to stories, they always ask "who is the good guy" and "who is the bad guy"; when playing games, "if he helps me, he is good", "if he doesn't help me, he is bad", Qiao Qiao Yu is not that extreme, but she knows that no one believes that she can see it, including the dean's grandmother. Although she always follows Qiao Yu's words, Qiao Yu can see the color of lies.
Light yellow, twinkling.
It's a good intention, but it's also a lie.
When Qiao Yu was nine years old in the orphanage, she saw new colors.
There is a new bookstore opened next door. The store is not big. The person who manages it is a middle-aged man who often carries a bench and sits at the door.
He loved children, would smile at them, give them candy, hold them in his arms and read stories to them.
One day Qiao Yu saw him.
She looked up at the man, and there was surprise in his eyes.
He stretched out his hand and said, "Hello, what's your name?"
The sound was bright, bright pink, with some very dark orange mixed in.
With another blink, the color disappeared, and what Qiao Yu saw was still the smiling face full of kindness.
