Hello everyone, I am Du Dingbei, your loyal friend who updates every day.
Yesterday, a reader said in the comment area: The literature about leave requests is going to die.
The love is so sincere that I feel pity for him.
I think, as the person responsible for leave letter literature in the 22nd century, I must give him a shot in the arm.
It is certainly difficult to write a very long leave request, but how can a serious literary worker stop being afraid of difficulties?
My pride won't allow me to do this.
That’s why I got this super long leave request note.
Today is the last day of April. It’s just a good time to review the current situation of “Fist of Pulling the Hip”, which can also be regarded as a short-term summary.
There were 4 days of crotch stretching in April, and the number of crotch stretching days dropped by 75% compared with March.
There were 72,000 words effectively updated in April, an increase of 19.17% compared with March when the number was about 60,000 words.
In April, my weight was 83.1 kilograms, an increase of 3.87% from March, and the thickness of the swimming ring and the number of layers on the chin doubled.
In general, the development trend of serious literature is steady and good. Except for the weather suddenly getting hotter, Du Dingbei catching fish every day, and my cat starting to shed hair like a dandelion and learning to bite slippers, nothing can stop it. I am gradually realizing my dream of perfect work.
Of course, a mature man will never make a clear promise, and I am not a financial blogger who sets up a WeChat group to collect IQ taxes. Predicting the future is not my specialty. Whether full attendance will be achieved in May, let’s keep it under wraps. Drum.
I don’t know if I can get perfect attendance in May.
In my opinion, the future is like a game of five-game blackjack in an Internet cafe. You can never predict how much you and your friends will pull your crotch. The dreaming process is beautiful and hazy, like a ball of unlicked cotton. Sugar, but the moment of pulling my crotch is clearer than the pain of stepping on the building blocks.
I believe more and more in my crotch pull and doubt my future more and more.
I've learned never to promise things I can't be sure of, like going to bed early and getting up early and loving you forever.
But Mr. Song Minghe, my classmate in the Mecha Operation Department, doesn’t think so.
Song Gong is a very serious and self-disciplined person, and he will definitely do whatever he decides.
He leveled the land in March and April and harvested the answers in August and September, one step at a time, never pulling his hips.
After joining the Kendaji Literary Club together, the serious Song Gong became murderous towards me who pulled my crotch.
Over the years, Song Gong has eliminated almost all uncertainties in life, except for Mr. Tanaka Kensuke and me.
To this day, Mr. Tanaka Kensuke’s mother still has not entered the atmosphere, and I am still interrupting. Song Gong’s work of clearing up uncertainty is still going on.
He regularly practices the art of drawing swords with the Duan Geng Headless Style, regularly greets me, and regularly writes literature to remind me of the Geng Geng.
Seven years ago, when I serialized my first book "My Roommate Really Has Problems" on Qidian.com, Song Gong provided tens of thousands of words about the work and told readers and friends the reasons why I stopped updating.
After "Fist of Utopia" was released, the battle between Song Gong and me also started again.
Different from the past, what Song Gong recorded this time was my reason for updating, titled "What You Don't Know About Du Gong·Change 2·The Reasons for Du Gong's Update".
The first article in this series is related to the work I have posted in "Utopian Fist", but it seems that not many people have seen it, so I took the opportunity of taking this leave to attach Song Gong's new work below, and I would like to express my sincere thanks to you. Song Gong left a message.
Brother Song, Brother Song, besides urging me to update, why not also take a look at mine.
I still write very hard, but I still want to hear your opinion.
Thank you all for seeing this, see you tomorrow.
Attached:
What you don’t know about Du Gong · Gai Er · Reasons for Du Gong’s update 02
Fourth
Du Gong, as has been pointed out many times before, is one of the top ten rotten people in the mecha operating system. He is rotten to the bone and is incurable.
For example, the canteen of the Mecha Operation Department has a delicious roasted pork dish, especially its homemade hot sauce, which is famous throughout the department.
In order to get more free hot sauce, Du Gong actually ordered the food king Su Gong, the May network administrator, to take the five-pound hot sauce bottle from the store together, completely ignoring the surprised look in the store owner's eyes when Su Gong took away the hot sauce bottle. .
Du Gong was very eloquent about this: "The shopkeeper's surprised look is obviously because Su Gong was still wearing this short-sleeved shirt in November, and it has nothing to do with the hot sauce."
Of course, when Mr. Su returned the bottle, it was cleaner than it had been washed, as if it had never been filled with chili sauce before.
"The hot sauce passed through the intestines and was left on the update paper." Du Gong, who is worse than the sauce, even though he repeatedly suffered from hemorrhoids due to his crazy eating of spicy food, he still went his own way. This sentence never sounded as convincing as it should have.
On this day, after Mr. Du once again ordered Mr. Su to bring the hot sauce bottle, I raised my knife to remind him of the change.
“There is Chuanchang Chili Sauce, and the bento has been updated with 10,000 words.”
"It's okay, it's okay. After the barbecue is finished, we'll start..."
Seeing Du Gong rushing to the toilet with the firepower of a planetary engine, and then looking at the bright red chili sauce, I understood something.
"Duke Du, there is no paper in the toilet. You are sitting there waiting for death. If you don't change it, I will send the hot sauce bottle back to the store."
Du Gong had no choice but to change a chapter and exchanged toilet paper and hot sauce bottles.
Fifth
Du Gong regards himself as the leader of the mecha operating system FFF. Whenever Ping Gong, Pancake Gong, Xing Gong and others are in pairs or having sex, Du Gong always appears in a special identity and spreads evil intentions around them. atmosphere. This special character has a mysterious connection with Du Gong's oval face and tuft of hair.
To put it bluntly, it's a light bulb.
Song Gong is a person who thinks about his roommates. Seeing that Duke Du came to disturb Gong Ping again, I couldn't stand it anymore and said:
"Du Gong, where is today's update?"
"Song Gong, you are in vain to be the deputy leader of our FFF regiment. At this time, Ping Gong did this outrageous behavior. It is the occasion when I am bound by my teachings, do my duty, and act chivalrously. I will not hesitate to suspend the renewal of my righteousness for this reason. You don't understand. Is this my good intentions?"
"Du Gong, whether renewal or heaven's punishment is more serious, the world has its own public opinion, and it is not decided by you and me. As far as I am concerned, Wan Gong hangs around Mengmei, Mao Gong indulges in the next table, and Ping Gong is looking for flowers and willows. , what’s wrong with getting to know beauties?”
"Song Gong, these remarks deeply hurt my heart. I have a "Lun on Encouragement", you should study it carefully."
So, Du Gong continued to persuade Ping Gong to leave in my room, and I went to Du Gong's room to re-read "Guan Fen Lun". This article is eloquent and eloquent, describing the emotional history of the mecha operating system in great detail and in detail. In the end, it comes down to the fact that "the relationships within the system are fruitless, and they can fly separately if they are separated." I have to say that I still admire Du Gong who wrote this article. Only at the end of the paper, Du Gong took the trouble to write down the author's contact information, but he did not mention publishing the paper at all, which really confused me.
At this moment, a chat box popped up in the lower right corner of Du Gong's desktop.
"Senior Du, after reading your "Essay on Persuading Partitions", I was enlightened and immediately broke up with my boyfriend. Thank you for the contact information you left at the end of the paper. I hope to contact you frequently in the future." Are there any similar chat records? few.
I immediately took Du Gong back.
On this day, Du Gong had to update four chapters with a long knife and a neck. Moreover, while I wasn't paying attention, he added "If you were a beautiful girl" to the introduction of "Utopia Fist", and he still refuses to delete it and refuses to delete it.
Sixth
Du Gong often indulged in the Three Kingdoms Slay and delayed updates. When he entered the game, he had two magic weapons: talkativeness and wretchedness. He roamed the chat room in the name of "flat hacking", and everyone at the time hated him with gnashing of teeth.
On this day, I was raising my knife as usual to call for duty. When I saw Du Gong in the killing field again, I couldn't help but shake my head secretly. However, Song Gong was also a good assassin in the Three Kingdoms, so he stopped behind Du Gong to watch the battle.
As soon as I saw the word "red" in the chat box, I saw Du Gong Bagua flash out; when I saw the word "middle", I saw someone judge the 3 of spades by lightning.
"Du Gong, you are like a divine help today. Why don't you take advantage of the victory and withdraw your troops? With this good status, you can update quickly and still have extra time to continue killing."
"You don't know something, Mr. Song. You are lucky at this time, so you can take advantage of the victory and continue to increase your winning rate."
"Forget it, I'll just keep watching here. When you lose a game, it means that you have run out of energy today."
"Very good. If I win, I will continue. If I lose, I will start coding. Mr. Song, do you dare to bet?"
"Can I still be afraid of you, an old African chief? Just bet." After saying that, I moved a chair and sat down, and began to watch the battle.
There is a saying that Du Gong's skills are really good at stretching the crotch, but this is the only skill that cannot be underestimated. Seeing that he has hearts when he is happy, plum blossoms when there are soldiers, plum blossoms when there are eights and eights, and two blood when wolves attack, and Lingren hits all three, I feel more and more that something is not right.
"Du Gong, you are bound to win every battle this time and have great luck. Song is convinced and will not urge you to update today. It is already getting late at this time. We are planning to hold a hot pot party and I have found two bottles of good wine. Can you let's go?"
"Ho wow, add wine to the hot pot, the more you eat, the better!" With that said, Duke Du organized Duke Lu and others to start preparations. I took this opportunity to open Du Gong's computer and found his secret to winning every battle.
The next day, Pingchan was banned for a week because someone reported him for cheating, and the account owner had to update his account that week.
