Diplomatic teasing——Tao Hub]
In November 968, Zhao Kuangyin "had something to do in the southern suburbs." Qian Hongchu sent his son Qian Weijun and general Sun Chengyou to pay tribute and assist in the sacrifice. Zhao Kuangyin gave Qian Hongchu a royal title, which included the words "Che Shu Hun Yi" and other words. Qian Hongchu Classmate, please translate what is meant by mixing cars and books. The Song Dynasty aspired to unification and could not allow any form of separatist rule - could Wu Yue be an exception?
In 970, Zhao Kuangyin launched a military attack on the Southern Han Dynasty. When Qian Hongchu sent his son Qian Weijun to pay tribute, Zhao Kuangyin gave Qian Hongchu a new task: to raise troops to attack the Southern Han Dynasty in Fuzhou and cooperate with the king's division.
Qian Hongchu immediately assembled his troops and prepared to respond, but soon Zhao Kuangyin sent the latest news: The road is far away, so don't come. I'll take it with you.
What's interesting is that the envoy sent by the Song Dynasty was the famous "diplomatic tease" Tao Hub. Tao Hub is a man who is extremely utilitarian and will do whatever it takes to get high, but he is also very good at "pretending". When he was on a mission to the Southern Tang Dynasty, he fell into Han Xizai's beauty trap and became a laughing stock for all eternity... This time he went out to The Kingdom of Wu Yue naturally left a big joke for future generations.
In view of the subtle close relationship between the Wuyue Kingdom and the Song Dynasty, Qian Hongchu attached great importance to this banquet and treated Comrade Tao Hub as a guest of honor. He inquired in advance what he wanted to eat. Tao Hub said that since he came to the land of plenty, he wanted to eat something. Aquatic products and seafood. In a word, Qian Hongchu "feasted with hundreds of aquarium utensils", and even one bite would kill him.
Tao Hub frowned and looked around, and said that Bianzhou also has lakes and rivers, and there is no shortage of fish and shrimps. I heard that the hairy crabs here are quite famous. I want to eat some crabs.
No problem, make arrangements!
Swimming crabs, hairy crabs, river crabs, sand crabs... there are more than ten species in total. It can be said that except Godzilla and Dragon King of the East China Sea, all species are available.
As expected, Tao Hub started to misbehave again. He pretended not to understand the types of crabs and asked Qian Hongchu. Qian Hongchu personally acted as the commentator, "Welcome to the Wuyue Kingdom on the tip of the tongue, this is the hairy crab..." He gave a detailed introduction to Tao Hub in order from rare to common, from expensive to cheap, from large to small.
Tao Hub then made a pun and said: "Hey, one crab is not as good as one crab!" After saying this, he looked at Qian Hongchu with great pride.
Qian Hongchu was stunned for a moment, and then he understood the answer from Tao Hub's contemptuous eyes. Tao Hub insinuated that the rulers of the Qian family were inferior to each other.
Qian Hongchu suppressed his anger, pretended not to understand, and continued to laugh and enjoy the banquet. When the banquet was coming to an end, Qian Hongchu said: "Eating too much crab can make you feel cold and weak, so we usually drink a bowl of hot food after eating crab." Soup is good for the body, I specially asked the chef to make a bowl of quite delicious soup, please use it slowly."
When the waiter handed the soup bowl to Tao Hub, he thoughtfully gave him the name of the dish: "Gourd Soup."
"Huh?" Tao Hub almost lost his balance and almost dropped the bowl.
As mentioned above, Tao Hub repeatedly asked to be the Prime Minister but failed, and was ridiculed by Zhao Kuangyin for following the gourd and painting the gourd. He also angrily wrote a poem that said, "I paint the gourd the same way every year." From then on, Tao Hub tabooed the gourd. Qian Hongchu said that the gourd soup was specially made for him. Could it be that he was deliberately targeting him?
Before Tao Hub could react, Qian Hongchu added: "This is a method invented by the imperial chef of the late king Qian Liushi. Nowadays, these chefs are not very good at it and can't make the same taste as before. They are just showing off. "
Follow the gourd and draw the scoop. Tao Hub did not disappoint us after all, and made himself a joke based on his ability.
There is another record, which says that Qian Hongchu and Tao Hub were having a drinking ceremony, and Qian Hongchu wrote the first couplet:
"White jade, welcome the immortal guests on the blue wave pavilion."
Pair of pottery hubs:
"King of mouth and ears, the Holy Emperor wants Qiantang."
The traditional Chinese character for Sheng is "Sheng", which is opposite to the first couplet. Qian Hongchu flatters him as "Xianke", but Tao Hub is a bit aggressive. The "capital" of the Wuyue Kingdom is Hangzhou, and the seat of Hangzhou is Qiantang County, so "Qiantang" refers to the Wuyue Kingdom. Tao Hub clearly told Qian Hongchu that the Song Dynasty wanted to annex the Wuyue Kingdom.
According to other records, when Tao Hub was sent as an envoy to Zhejiang Province, he was very flattering at first. He presented 20 poems to Qian Hongchu, singing his praises to Qian Hongchu. Among them was the sentence "My head has turned white in this life, and I have no way to sweep away the king's gate." As the saying goes, a minister of a superior state is now the leader of the state. People in the Song Dynasty also commented that it was inappropriate for Tao Hub to present a poem to Qian Hongchu, and the flattery in the poem was even more "an insult to one's fate." It was not his face that was humiliated, but his whole body. The face of the Song Dynasty.
Qian Hongchu held a banquet for the Golden Bell, and the Golden Bell was awarded the honorary title. Tao Hub claimed that he was ill and did not attend the banquet. Qian Hongchu sent someone to visit him. Tao Hub said that he liked the golden bell very much and wanted to take it back as a souvenir. Qian Hongchu waved his hand and packed up ten golden bells and took them away. Tao Hub was very moved, so he wrote another poem, which included the sentence "Begging for the golden bell to help the eyesight" - after receiving the golden bell as a reward from the king, my waist no longer aches, my eyes no longer hurt, and my eyesight has healed. Okay, it’s no longer difficult to go up to the fifth floor in one breath. It's so flattering that it's disgusting. People in the Song Dynasty commented that "he is so shameless." Song Lanv posted a Zhuge Liang emoticon: I have never seen such a shameless person.
When Tao Hub returned to China, he also regretted that his trip was too frivolous, shameless, and too clown-like, so he composed another poem when he left, including "The frog in the well will not rely on the danger, and the horse will sing nine tunes." He also specifically asked his entourage to "recite the entire poem" to cover up his previous flattery.
In this regard, people in the Song Dynasty commented that "there are many cunning bosses like this". Both bad and bad.
