Wine is not a good thing, and Feng Wuli doesn't like it. When he was very young, he had memories of his father getting drunk and beating his mother, but that was too long a memory, making him wonder if he had seen something else when he was a child. There are similar scenes in movies and TV series, and then they are mistakenly remembered by me.
But he really doesn’t like drinking because he doesn’t drink well. Wang Xilou does like drinking, but she knows that she doesn’t like the smell of alcohol, so she secretly goes out to buy a bottle of Niulanshan when he’s not around, and then Put a straw in and suck happily.
This monkey wine has no alcoholic taste, only a mellow and fruity aroma, but it does not prevent Feng Wuli from getting dizzy the more he drinks. Next to him, Wang Xilou is already addicted to drinking, with his mouth pouting for a long time, sucking, sucking, tons, tons, tons, tons, tons, tons, tons, tons, tons, tons. Gu Gu Gu Gu.
"This wine god has to be drunk, little zombie, you'd better drink less." The great sage crossed his legs and supported his chin on his arms. He looked at her with the same eyes as the younger sister. After all, she is of the same generation as the Qing Emperor. Immortal.
In fact, many people in reality regard Wang Xilou as his little sister, such as his cousin, his uncle and aunt, etc. However, it is different from the Great Sage. Even if the Great Sage knows that Wang Xilou is over 800 years old, he still You can treat it like a little girl.
"Is this wine? If you didn't tell me, I thought it was water." She was actually a little dizzy, but she smacked her mouth and said, "Why does it taste so weak? It's not as strong as Sprite."
Today I met Sun Dasheng. Feng Wuli felt that a childhood dream had come true. He pestered the Dasheng and asked him many questions. The Dasheng always answered him cheerfully, without the monkey nature in the story at all, and his tone was full of ridicule. Free and easy, but also steady.
Simply a high-quality idol!
He asked the Great Sage if a somersault was a hundred and eight thousand miles. The Great Sage said it was not a hundred and eight thousand miles, but the eight evils, which did not refer to distance, but meant to overcome greed, anger, and ignorance.
"Tsk, it's just that it can't be done. Master can flip over to the moon with a single somersault." Wang Xilou said in an understatement, then quietly looked at his apprentice, and found that the apprentice didn't look at him at all!
She said again: "Master can somersault to the moon."
Come on and worship Master to your heart’s content!
"Wang Xilou, please stop making noise."
There was a click in the air, and something broke.
Feng Wuli asked the great sage again if he had a golden cudgel. The great sage chuckled and said yes, and asked him if he wanted to take it. He took out a big gold and iron stick from his ear, and it grows in the wind!
Feng Wuli's breath was stagnant.
"It's just a broken iron rod, what's so good about it!" Wang Xilou stood next to him with a strange look all night.
It seems that she was like this in the past when Qing Emperor and Sheng Qing were around, showing strong aggression. Feng Wuli understood her mentality. This little zombie is said to be from ancient times, but in fact it is very jealous. If a beautiful woman appears, She doesn't have anything wrong, but she can't bear to see her precious apprentice worship others and think others are awesome.
Feng Wuli only thought she was cute like this and told the Great Sage not to mind his master's rude words.
The Great Sage laughed and poured the wine and said, "You zombie has found a good apprentice."
"What do you want to do?!" Wang Xilou looked wary.
The Great Sage found that he had not been so speechless for many years: "No one intends to compete with you as an apprentice, and you are not an apprentice, you are clearly a husband."
Feng Wuli felt a little embarrassed when he heard it, and drank another drink.
"Oh, okay, okay, just drink that much! If you can't drink it, forget it. If you vomit later, I'll have to wash your clothes!" Wang Xilou stopped letting him drink.
The Great Sage sat cross-legged aside, holding his chin with one hand, curling up a wine glass by his tail, and drank it all in one gulp, looking at the sky full of stars, not knowing what he was thinking.
The three separated before dawn.
"Great Sage!" Feng Wuli called out to him: "Add him on WeChat!"
The great sage was stunned, smiled and said hello.
After the Great Sage left, Wang Xilou looked sour on the side, and Feng Wuli had no choice but to coax him, "I am a guest. In my eyes, Wang Xilou is definitely the most powerful."
"Huh? Really?"
"How can the Great Sage compare with Wang Xilou!" After he finished speaking, he found that his tone was a bit too pretentious, like coaxing a three-year-old child to eat. After the child took a mouthful of food, he said in an extremely exaggerated and uncertain tone, "Why are you so great?" ah! ? 'Similarly, Feng Wuli felt it was too deliberate when he said it, but he could see that Wang Xilou was very useful.
"Hmph!" She was a little proud, but she couldn't show it, and said angrily: "If I had known, I would have caught that Wu Cheng'en and asked him to write it into the book for me." She raised her little powdered fist, She imitated Po Nu's usual boxing style, as if there were Tang San and the Fourth Master and Disciple in front of her, and she was a big demon blocking the way of the Four Master and Disciple to learn the scriptures.
"Then you become one of the eighty-one calamities, beating Wang Xilou three times." Feng Wuli thought it was funny and pushed Wang Xilou by the shoulders to go downstairs.
When she heard this, she screamed with disdain and said: "The master must be the Tathagata Buddha! It should be written." The Jade Emperor panicked and said to people: Go to the West to ask Wang Xilou Bodhisattva to come over and suppress this evil. Monkey! Then the master appeared and said: Monkey, slap me! I will suppress him for five hundred years." She got addicted and slapped Feng Wuli with her backhand.
Feng Wuli grinned and said nothing to her.
Return to the West to invite Bodhisattva Wang Xilou and talk about all kinds of nonsense.
She is already drunk.
Before he knew it, it was almost dawn, but there was no class this morning, so he still had to absorb a lot of monkey wine. When he went back, he just glanced at the man who was sleeping soundly every day, and after thinking about it, he decided not to care about him. You'll wake up after a while anyway.
Even if Feng Wuli and Wang Xilou knew about his situation tonight, they would only sympathize with him but would not lend a helping hand. Even the Great Sage would not ask any more questions, but it happened that the three of them were drinking here, and they It happened that he was full of sour intestines and bitter water, which was just the right time to drink.
This is fairy fate.
"How many years do you want to be suppressed by this Bodhisattva?!" Wang Xilou slapped him on the chest again, his voice sweet.
"Let's go, Wang Xilou Bodhisattva, go back to sleep."
"Didn't you say that you will practice instead of sleeping from now on?"
"I'll refine the Great Sage's bar today. It's almost dawn."
After all, this wine was brewed by the Great Sage himself. If he can't get drunk, what's the use of brewing it? Therefore, the higher the cultivation level, the easier it is for people to get drunk. The Great Sage himself just tasted it. At the end of the day, Wang Xilou drank much more than the two of them put together. It was fine when he was just sitting down and drinking. Now when he stood up and the wind blew, the alcohol started to spread from his stomach to his whole body, so I've been talking nonsense since the beginning.
But the little nonsense-talking zombie is so cute and fun to tease. His body is hot and soft. He walks around and says he's not drunk at all.
"Disciple~" Her tone was sweet, and Feng Wuli asked her what she was doing.
"Why don't you worship Master as usual? Just worship him a little bit. Master is really amazing."
"Master is really amazing." She pouted.
"I know, Wang Xilou is the most powerful." He said with a smile.
She had a good drinking capacity, but the quality of the wine was so bad that Feng Wuli felt that he was similar to the Great Sage who sent his master to the West to obtain Buddhist scriptures, but he sent his master back to bed to rest.
One moment she was clamoring to take her best apprentice to the market to buy groceries; the next moment she said don't pull on the master, he can leave on his own; the next moment she suddenly stood still, closing her eyes and letting Feng Wuli listen to her.
Feng Wuli waited for a long time and found that she was motionless. He tried to ask if she was asleep. Wang Xilou suddenly opened his eyes and said angrily: "Who turned off my TV!"
They had already entered the elevator. Fortunately, the elevator was empty after four o'clock.
"Come on, let me turn on the TV for you now." He pretended to have a remote control in his hand and pressed it against the elevator door. "Okay, I've turned on the TV, but it won't turn on for a while. Let's wait. .”
"You lied!" She suddenly cried and said, "You didn't turn on the TV at all. That's not how turning on the TV works!"
Feng Wuli had a splitting headache, "Then how should I open it?"
"You didn't even press the power button!" Wang Xilou walked to the elevator door and clicked on the floors one by one. Feng Wuli quickly pulled her back. This woman insisted on saying that she had to turn on the TV, so don't pull me.
Then Feng Wuli watched her light up all the floors.
Now you have to open the elevator door every time you go to the next floor.
Speechless!
"Are you drunk?" Wang Xilou suddenly stood still and asked him with a serious face.
Feng Wuli was so tired. At first he thought she was cute, but now he just felt why this woman was so annoying: "Yes, I feel dizzy. Can Wang Xilou send me back to rest?"
"kiss Me!"
"ah?"
"Kiss Master, kiss Master quickly!!" She started to act arrogantly.
"Can we kiss again when we go back?"
"But I want to kiss you now." She chirped.
"Kiss me when you go back, okay, little Wang Xilou?"
"Bodhisattva! It's Wang Xilou Bodhisattva!"
Feng Wuli was very embarrassed. It was impossible to kiss now. There were cameras in the elevator. At this moment, the elevator finally reached their floor. Feng Wuli shouted "No! Run" and then ran out directly. , Wang Xilou couldn't react at all. When she saw him running away, she immediately chased him with her head down. Although she was dizzy, she didn't know why she had to chase him.
After running a few steps, she stopped running and squatted down directly.
Feng Wuli looked back and saw the master squatting at the elevator door with his knees in his arms, then turned back to tease her.
Wang Xilou immediately stood up and chased after him, so Feng Wuli ran some distance away, and the master and apprentice began to engage in guerrilla warfare in the short few steps from the elevator to the door of their home.
Finally returning to the house, an octopus lay behind him, and she said drunkenly: "Feng Wuli..."
"Um?"
"Master wants to shush."
"I'll take you to the bathroom now."
"Hehe, kiss you."
Feng Wuli was a little dizzy at first, but Wang Xilou woke up after doing this. He had no choice but to carry the warm and soft Master on his back, closed the door with one hand, returned to the room and sent her to the toilet, and found that Everyone has fallen asleep.
The sleeping little zombie's neck seemed to have no bones, resting on his shoulders. He shook her head and tossed her around.
Feng Wuli smiled and put her on the bed, took off her outer coat, kicked off her slippers, placed them squarely on the bed and covered her with the quilt.
"You're an immortal, sleeping like a pig." He pinched the little zombie's face in annoyance. It was so tender that water came out from the pinch, and it was hot and soft.
He was also snoring, sounding like a small animal. He was not a good sleeper and liked to grab the quilt.
Feng Wuli quickly lost the quilt on his body. He had long been used to it and went to get a small quilt with a calm expression.
After a while, the small blanket was also snatched away.
"..." He went to get another small blanket.
Lasted twenty minutes.
No, if you rob a quilt to cover it, you can rob it separately. This person must be sick! You're not just pretending to be asleep and playing with yourself, are you?
It's almost dawn.
Feng Wuli was really tired, and he needed rest to refine the alcohol power. He thought that his body would not catch a cold, although he felt uncomfortable without a quilt.
There was no quilt left and the man had no intention of letting him go. Twenty minutes later, a little zombie lay on top of him, sleeping soundly on his chest.
Feng Wuli reached out and stroked the hair on her back, pulled a small quilt over and covered the two of them, and they didn't know when they fell asleep.
Originally, he could sleep until the afternoon, but Wang Xilou was woken up by the need to urinate at around ten o'clock. He hurriedly got up, put on his slippers and drained the water, which made the whole zombie feel comfortable.
"It's time to take it. It's time to take it." She came out with wet hands, shook the water on her hands, and found that her apprentice was no longer there.
The sun was so bright outside, and it was like punishing myself for being hungover. I deliberately exposed myself to such an exaggerated sun to make myself feel guilty for not sleeping well at night.
She didn't have a hangover headache. She couldn't remember what happened last night and why she woke up so late today. Then she slowly recalled some details. Slowly, Wang Xilou felt frightened and broke into a cold sweat. Thinking of her last night Noisy and noisy, she slowly clasped her blood-red toes, showing her dignity as a master! !
Haha, forget it.
In the Wang Xilou screen, a computer screen mouse appeared in the air in the room. I clicked the right button of the mouse and then pressed refresh.
Push the door open and go out.
Sensing that no one at home was there, probably all gone to the store, he returned to the room, kicked off his slippers and jumped back on the bed.
The quilt was filled with the smell of her precious apprentice. She held it and inhaled it to replenish her apprentice's energy.
There was a WeChat message sent at around nine o'clock. It was from the disciple who said that he had no classes today. Yesterday he gave Ponu and Chifu a half-day off. He would also give her a half-day off today and come back in the afternoon.
Speaking of which, I don't know how long it has been since I took a vacation.
I took out my mobile phone and scrolled through Douyin for a while. I was very happy when I saw the sand sculpture video.
After a while, I opened the door and went out again, mopped the floor of my house, put the shoe cabinet neatly, and moved quilt covers, pillowcases and the like to the rooftop to dry. When I came back, I turned on the TV and started watching.
I looked at the time, it was only half past ten.
"So durable in half an hour?!" Wang Xilou was shocked.
The balcony spilled golden sunshine into the living room, and the turbulent curtains used the sunlight to brush her face.
She sat down on the sofa and watched TV series out of boredom. From time to time she would use her phone to scroll through Douyin, Shuishui Family Group, and Moments. Her posture lying on the sofa when there was no one at home was indescribable. It could only be said that she had no human shape.
I looked at the time and saw that only fifteen minutes had passed!
I scrolled through Douyin for a while and looked at a few videos I posted. The highest number of likes was only over 2,000.
I admired my manicure and toenails, and the more I looked at them, the more beautiful they became. I took a photo and sent it to Feng Wuli to ask if it looked good.
ten minutes later.
She got up and changed out of her pajamas, put on a pair of denim suspenders and a pure white short-sleeved upper body. She squatted by the shoe cabinet and put on small sandals, then pushed out the door with an umbrella.
no way
It's so boring at home.
She missed her apprentice so much.
(End of chapter)
