When Gao Xiaodong received the news, he was still reviewing postgraduate entrance examination questions in the library of Yuzhou University.
His mother sent him a message at five o'clock yesterday, saying that grandma was gone.
Although it was sudden, it was not surprising.
In fact, since Alzheimer's disease started a few years ago, grandma's health has been getting worse day by day. In the past month or two, she was frequently admitted to the hospital, and the diseases that old people get are the same.
The doctor had told them they were counting the days.
He was already prepared.
But looking at those words, he felt ridiculous. When the two words grandma and death were combined, the world seemed no longer real. He typed a string of words in the input box with his fingers, and when he accepted this reality, he added them one by one. Delete.
And took a deep breath.
My mother said that since he was so far away, he probably wouldn't be able to come back. He would be buried tomorrow and asked him to take care of himself there and come back to worship when he was free.
After all, when I came back, I wouldn't be able to see him for the last time.
Gao Xiaodong agreed. He also felt that it was not necessary to rush back like this. It was better to concentrate on reviewing for the postgraduate entrance examination.
He had already prepared for the old man's short life. When he heard the news, he had mixed feelings for a while, but he didn't feel sad at all.
He thought he would be sad and burst into tears, but nothing happened. He was extremely calm. After replying that he understood, he lowered his head and read the question again.
Looking out the window on the fourth floor of the library, we no longer see a winding river, old trees and white walls, but row upon row of tall buildings.
Gao Xiaodong grew up in a rural area and was raised by his grandmother. The earliest memory he can trace back is when he first learned to walk.
He still remembered the scene. Grandma was burning firewood and cooking in the kitchen. He stood up holding on to the chairs, staggered to the kitchen holding on to the wall, and suddenly hugged the old man from behind.
The old man was startled, but he smiled from ear to ear and hugged him quickly.
When he was three or four years old, he woke up in the middle of the night, clamoring to find his father. He knew that his father was working in other places. He pointed out many places where his father usually was, and the old man carried him one by one, walking all over the place in complete darkness. village.
When he was six or seven years old, he saw a set of beautifully packaged public painting brushes in the house next door and urged her to buy them. The old lady rode the bicycle she bought when she got married and went to many bookstores in the town to buy it for him. It turned out that the one he bought was not the one he wanted, and he was angry with the old lady for a long time.
When he was ten years old, whenever he failed in an exam, his grandma would become fierce. Her sullen face made him think she was like an evil spirit. Although she would not hit him, he was always afraid of her anger.
So he studies well.
In such a rural area, he was one of the few who went to high school, went to university, and even went to a double first-class university.
When the old man first started to suffer from dementia, Gao Xiaodong was in his third year of high school. The third year of high school was very hard and tiring. He didn't remember much, but he remembered that his grandson liked to draw, so he said: Reading is not the only way out. If you like drawing, you can do it. Just paint, whatever makes you happy.
She talked in a messy manner and said that it doesn't matter if you can't study well.
My grandma, who had been urging him to study hard all his life, told him that it was no big deal if he didn't study when he was almost unable to remember anything.
It's like explaining the funeral arrangements.
Later she couldn't remember things anymore.
Grandma didn’t know what a double first-class university was, but she knew her grandson was very good at studying. She was happy. Even though he was already suffering from dementia, everyone in the village told everyone that her eldest grandson was studying in a double first-class university.
She remembers almost nothing, and forgets what happened yesterday, but she remembers Gao Xiaodong, the grandson she brought up since childhood.
She always asked people, is Xiaodong back? Others told her to go to college.
"Oh! I'm going to college. It's great to go to college!"
When Gao Xiaodong was a freshman, he often called back. The old lady laughed when she heard his voice, but she always didn't speak for a long time. He felt helpless, and every time it was too expensive to talk, he hung up.
"Xiaodong, don't catch a cold." The old lady said this every time before hanging up the phone.
He studied a high-level math problem for half an hour, but he couldn't solve it no matter how hard he tried. He just felt that his strength was draining away.
He is not actually sad, he just misses his grandma.
So he packed nothing. He planned to buy the earliest ticket. If he couldn't buy a ticket, he bought a high-speed rail ticket.
It was a starry night, and by the time he realized it, it was already the afternoon and evening of the next day.
The sky in the countryside is prettier than in the city, with low black wires, ripples on the water beside the fields from time to time, mole crickets cooing like toads, and sparrows pecking at the scattered grains.
He walked on a cement road that was hot from the sun in his memory. On both sides of the road were low white walls, crops, and piled rice straws.
From a distance, he saw the old man sitting on the big stone by the pond, as if waiting for someone.
Gao Xiaodong was not afraid. How could he be afraid of the person closest to him? He just walked over and sat next to her.
A person has lived outside for so long, and he has traveled a long way to come back here, from Yuzhou back to Junsha, from university back to his childhood.
He said: "Grandma, I'm so tired."
The old lady asked him why he didn't rest when he was tired.
"I don't know either."
The old lady asked him, are you still happy?
"There's no one who's unhappy. How can you be unhappy when you're busy..." He scratched his head and said a little shyly: "I like a girl, but I didn't bring her back to show you."
The old lady said that she was already a virgin at just a few years old.
"Twenty-three, you forgot again."
The old lady asked him to bring it back next time.
"I don't know if it will work or not." He was a little embarrassed.
The old lady asked him, where is your school? Is it far away? Does it take a long way to get to your school from Laoniu Village?
She said, please tell me a few more times. She has a bad memory recently and is afraid she won’t remember it.
"It's not far, it's not far. If you want me, just tell me and I'll be back."
The old lady said that she went to the city to apply for a card. She didn't understand what it was called a King Card, but the person who got it for her said that it had a lot of traffic, so that she could make long calls next time.
Gao Xiaodong couldn't laugh or cry: "Data traffic is not for making calls. If you can't make calls anymore, you have been cheated again."
The old lady didn't understand and was laughed at by her grandson, but seeing him smiling so happily, she laughed too.
The old lady asked him why he was crying. He was still crying at the age of twenty-three. It was so ugly.
"You are the ugly one." Gao Xiaodong wiped his face and said unconvinced: "You must have not combed your hair this morning. Your hair is sticking up. You are very ugly!"
There are countless insects chirping in the fields, cicadas on the trees are singing summer, the pond reflects the scenery of the horizon, and the evening breeze blows.
"Xiaodong, don't catch a cold."
