Chen Xiaoxiang just stood there, staring at Shen Rusong. He went to bed early in the inpatient department, and the brightness of the energy-saving headlights in the corridor was lowered. The light coming through the gap in the door was far less bright than the small orange lamp in Shen Rusong's hand. The warm light that should have fallen on his face instead brought a tinge of light. It has some meaning of being as golden as paper.
"What is your attitude towards this gong?"
Facing Chen Xiaoxiang's question, Shen Rusong didn't know how to answer for a while. His throat was sore, and his thoughts suddenly drifted far and wide, from the time when he had just passed the selection of young soldiers to the time when he failed in the unified examination and went to the sergeant academy, and then to the time when he graduated and was promoted to the surface. He bid farewell to his classmates at Huahu Station in the vast snow, and Wu Zuyong They hugged him hard and said he was smart and destined to rise all the way up to become a first-class sergeant major or a senior colonel. How sincere, how bragging, and how nonsense are your words? How many of them were reduced to dried mud and gray stains on their faces after a bloody battle for the rest of their lives.
One second-class merit award will be given priority, and two second-class merit awards will indicate that you can attend a crash course at the military academy and exchange for second lieutenant shoulder insignia. If you don't want to go to a military academy, you will be rewarded with large sums of money in vouchers, demobilization, and good job assignments. Military merit is close to you, and the heavy meritorious service hangs on your chest. It is the highest honor of a soldier. When you report to the army and straighten your back, you are really lucky. When you die on the bed of old age, there are also descendants holding medals and silently recalling the heroic appearance of their grandfather in the past.
These are all secondary. The most important thing is that this is the merit of his bloody and desperate efforts to survive, and he won it with one knife and one shot. It wasn't given to him by anyone, nor was it bought or cheated.
Accept it, why should you deserve it?
Shen Rusong bit his lip. He sat up and reached for the bag placed next to the pillow. It was an old canvas bag that had been washed white and even a little yellow. He slid open the zipper and inside contained his large diary. This is a 16-karat black diary made of fine leather and lacquered, with a thin strap for fastening the buttons. In the center of the cover is a gold-gilded Renaissance Army wheat star medal. It can be unfolded in multiple directions after being opened, and comes with loose leaves that can be disassembled and assembled. This style of notebook is commonly used by confidential staff, and such exquisite notebooks are also used when commending outstanding individuals.
However, all notebooks of this style are from pre-war stock and were distributed more than ten years ago. The star on the cover of Shen Rusong's large diary was still shining brightly. As he turned to the title page, there was a line of the Renaissance Army's motto written in red ink. "Keep fighting and revive the motherland."
Under the motto, the same line written in red ink read, "Congratulations to Comrade Shen Gang for winning the second-class merit, and hope to continue his efforts in the future."
Signed, Mai Jiankui.
"This is a notebook that was given to my father personally by the commander of the army when he made meritorious service. Later, my father gave this notebook as a gift for me to pass the selection of young soldiers. I decided to use it to keep a diary since I was in military school at the age of seventeen."
Shen Rusong didn't want to say more about the diary, so he pushed it aside and took out the pocket watch inside. It was a very old mechanical clock. The brass case was rubbed smooth and the bracelet was even oxidized and blackened. But this is a stopped watch, and its surface is broken like a spider web. You have to look carefully to see the hour, minute, and second hands inside, and the small compass that comes with it.
It is also a typical pre-war thing. Compared with the black leather diary, judging from the style alone, the stop-start pocket watch should date back to a longer time.
"This watch... can be regarded as an heirloom of my family. During the Civil War in 1910, my great-grandfather seized this watch on the battlefield and repaired it and passed it down."
Shen Rusong's tone was slightly sad, and the light in his eyes was as shattered as a spider web.
"My father died when I was twelve years old, fighting the beast tide and defending the base. What I know is that in order to save the scientific researchers from entering the inner wall, he voluntarily stayed in the outer circle, killed the beast herd, repaired the turret, and fought and fought. Until the last minute.”
"I didn't see him for the last time because he suffered too much radiation, and his body had to be put into a special coffin for burial as soon as possible. So when I arrived, my dad had already been put in a lead box. Then the army handed over his body Relics.”
"And a posthumous First Class Medal of Merit."
The sad tone quietly disappeared, and Shen Rusong narrated calmly. He rubbed the pocket watch case as usual when he was alone: "He didn't leave me much. I learned the habit of writing diaries from him. His diary is in my mother's hand, and I take the remaining empty diaries." Let’s go and complete the unfulfilled responsibilities for him. Although this watch cannot be repaired, it is made of metal after all. It has been with my family for many years. You see..."
Shen Rusong raised his hand and handed the watch to Chen Xiaoxiang. He looked at the dent on the case and said with pride, "It stopped a bullet for my father."
"So, I bring this watch with me to bring another life to my father. If I go down one day, I can take it back with me if I can. This watch will belong to my sister. From now on, this watch will not have to come and go. , follow her to study literature."
Chen Xiaoxiang's tone was slightly stiff and he cursed: "How can you really think about death?"
She blinked her eyes, stood up with her knees on her knees, punched the wall with her fist, turned back suddenly, and said to Shen Rusong, "And! You've said so many different things, what's your attitude?"
Shen Rusong was startled, then closed his watch, put it into a black leather diary, and put it away together: "Let me tell you a little secret."
"When I was in military school, I made a mistake once and didn't want to be punished, so I asked my dad's old comrade to settle the matter for me."
"What are you talking about?" Chen Xiaoxiang was confused. She was a little confused about what Shen Rusong wanted to say.
"A stick here and there, what do you want to say? Is it so difficult to give you a happy word? Mother-in-law, mother-in-law!"
Shen Rusong suddenly clenched his fists and laughed twice, and said with a smile: "Don't say you don't understand. I just want to say the word 'love'. I was in a group fight at the military academy, and one of the leaders, A well-known idiot gave me a beating. He handed an injury assessment sheet to the school, named me and several others and wanted to expel me. The school was kind and reasonable, so there was no problem in expelling me. .”
"The only reason I can sit here and talk to you is because of my dad's old comrades."
Chen Xiaoxiang nodded reluctantly.
"In the sulfur spring, I was the one who told me to throw the explosive package, and it was Liu Youde who jumped in holding the explosive package and blew it up. At the Huijiang River, I didn't take good care of his brother. I just ran away and didn't rescue him from the beast tide. Come out. It’s okay if you want to say that I have no responsibility for this matter. I have said so much and I don’t understand why these words are coming out now, but..."
"I think they are more worthy of this military honor. Ah, I didn't mean to say that you don't deserve it. Anyway, I just said that the dead are the most important. Ah, I suddenly don't know what to say." Shen Rusong's mouth was a little knotted and he hurriedly spread his hands.
"I understand what you mean." Chen Xiaoxiang shook his head.
She sat on the edge of the bed, scratched her hair, and said, "I understand that you want to bring glory to the sacrificed brothers in the class. You have to think clearly. Not every time you are lucky, there are so many people left in your class. To be honest, if someone else dies tomorrow, will you give it to them again and again? War is stained with blood, and there are many shameful places. We execute thugs and prisoners. Before the war, we were executioners. We have a heart. And actual operation are two different things..."
Shen Rusong interrupted: "Our goal is lofty and great, and there will inevitably be mistakes in the process. I don't want to hear what you say about the honor and disgrace of medals. I am debating this with you now. I only know that I am living a good life now." Okay, Liu Youcheng is buried in the cemetery. Many of them are personal belongings. Their two sons died for the country. The family of a second-class hero can at least give his family some comfort."
"It's getting more and more complicated." Shen Rusong waved his hand tiredly, "Why did we end up here? I'm confused."
"You're not confused." Chen Xiaoxiang's eyes were burning.
"I won't give in next time. I want to go to military school and be a dime a dozen." Shen Rusong said.
"Hey~" Chen Xiaoxiang stood up angrily, bumped the heels of his boots on the ground, and said viciously: "You have a f*cking brain problem, you like to do stupid things, but everyone in the regiment and division headquarters is smart. Like a monkey, he is eager to take credit as soon as he gets to the grassroots level, and then he can be transferred back to have a record of success. It would be best to fight without him and take credit for him. When have you ever allowed the credit to go out like this?"
Shen Rusong poked his forehead with a finger, and finally showed a relaxed expression: "I have been stupid a lot, just make stupid mistakes when you can, fighting is already tiring enough, let's think about other things, I think I'll be exhausted."
"You know this is different..."
Shen Rusong raised his finger and hissed: "Okay! Come here and be polite to the injured number. I will write a diary later. Leave some strength for me, Heroine."
Chen Xiaoxiang curled his lips, wrapping his lower lip around his upper lip and thinking for a while, and finally sighed helplessly: "Second-class merit is not like first-class merit. The stuck will not be as severe, and it will be approved quickly. You won't be able to change it after tomorrow. "
"I'm going to have a drink tomorrow. I really want to eat iron pot braised noodles."
"Fuck you." Chen Xiaoxiang suddenly became irritated. Seeing how she clenched her fists and rushed out of the room, she might really find someone to fight with.
The ward became quiet, and the light of the orange night light provided a bright light, making Shen Rusong's face gray and half bright. He took the lamp, raised his legs, and solemnly wrote in his black leather diary:
[September 17th, sunny, Friday]
He briefly wrote about the process of his wanting to give up the credit and the conversation tonight, and at the end he wrote:
[Some things you will definitely regret in the future. If everyone acted rationally, I wouldn't be sitting here. I think in parallel time and space, I should stay up late at this time. 】
After writing a full stop, Shen Rusong drew an additional smiley face and added a simple drawing of lying on the bed using a mobile phone.
It was quiet in the ward. Li Hao and Liu Zixu seemed to be really asleep. They didn't speak. Shen Rusong was happy to talk, but he didn't want to talk because his throat hurt.
Shen Rusong turned off the night light and folded his hands on his stomach. He stared into the dimness. The night was very deep and the occasional footsteps in the corridor were gone.
He couldn't help but imagine himself in a parallel time and space. What would he listen to while reading? There is no doubt that no matter what time and space, his hobbies will not be much different, so he simply murmured a few words.
"The harbor is quiet, deep in sleep, mist fills the sea, the waves push the waves, gently lapping at the embankment, and the accordion sounds melodious in the distance..."
