After listening to Qian Wen's words, Nan Li nodded repeatedly. Huanhuan is like this now, not as sensible as before.
The spanking is not allowed, the adults feel distressed, the children cry when they are scolded, and then a cycle begins, and within a few days Huanhuan is back to the same old routine.
Now it gave her a headache.
It’s not that you have to make up lessons and study to death, but Huanhuan’s grades are just as high as they are. If you get them again in the future, your current social studies degree is your golden key and the shortest way to success. If your child is young and doesn’t understand, she Don't you know that forcing a child to study means being forced into helplessness, and she wouldn't do this even if she had the slightest choice?
"Yan Peng, I have thought about this too, but we are getting closer and closer to Xiaoshengchu, and it is too late to slowly correct Huanhuan.
One step at a time, one step at a time, I don’t want Huanhuan to regret it later. Nan Li said with a headache.
"I'm not talking about correcting Huanhuan, but correcting you and Xia Junshan." Qian Wen looked at Nan Li and said.
"Ah?" Nan Li didn't understand and looked at Qian Wen doubtfully.
Tian Yulan also looked over.
"You still don't understand the point of what I'm saying. Huanhuan's current lack of resistance to pressure, willfulness, small temper, and rebellious psychology are all caused by you and Xia Junshan.
After pampering Huanhuan for more than ten years, you have suddenly changed a lot. You need to be taught strictly. Not to mention that you are a child, even adults can understand and cannot react.
What you have to do now is to unite the two of you and discuss clearly what you want to give your children. There are gains and losses. For ordinary children, happiness and learning are opposites.
If you want good grades, start from now on. One person will be the bad guy, and the other will be the red face. Let Huanhuan slowly adapt to learning. You must know that the transition from primary school to junior high school is just a small hurdle in your learning career. The subsequent high school entrance examination and college entrance examination will be more difficult every step. You guys Can you keep forcing your children to study? Sooner or later they will go crazy.
If you want to be happy, then find Huanhuan's hobbies and interests and develop Huanhuan's advantages first. Although reading is a shortcut, interest is a person's motivation and the key to success.
Doing what you like can make people feel happy and get rid of boredom.
That way there will be no conflict between you and Huanhuan, and she will naturally have no rebellious mentality. "
Qian Wen took a sip of coffee, looked at Nan Li, and saw that she was listening carefully, and continued, "You must not be affected by other parents and the current teaching environment, be assimilated by these anxieties, and blindly follow the trend.
The child is still young, and a single performance or temporary trough cannot prove the child's future. The child is not sensible, and we adults cannot be blindly anxious. Just like the learning in Fengfan Elementary School is a marathon, not a sprint, it will never determine success or failure at the moment.
We parents must steer the course for our children and determine what is more suitable for them.
Like our Ziyou, whose grades are okay and have a certain resistance to learning. He can accept the pressure of the high school entrance examination and the college entrance examination step by step. He is more suitable for taking the exam and finding a path to success that suits him in his studies. For example, Ziyou likes He likes insects, fungi, and living things. To achieve these things, he needs to get good grades. Naturally, he won't be too bored with studying.
As for Huanhuan, she has a cheerful personality and likes to sing and dance. She is not shy, elegant, sweet-looking, and not very interested in learning. However, she is a smart child and dare not say how good she is in learning. But with the right guidance, her grades will definitely not improve. Too bad. Developing Huanhuan's interests, singing and dancing, and becoming a dancer, host, or artist in the future are all options for children.
We adults need to consider these things in advance for our children. Children are like small boats in the vast sea. We are the helmsmen who have experienced rough waves. We have to choose what is suitable for our children.
Especially today's children are not like our era, where each one is more valuable than the other and they are pampered. They are more willful and rebellious, and their parents are less considerate.
We can force them temporarily and make them do what we want, but sooner or later something will go wrong.
Like..."
Qian Wen looked at Tian Yulan when he said this, hesitating whether he should talk about Ziyou's mental illness some time ago.
"Like what? Why didn't you say anything all of a sudden?" Nan Li was listening intently and felt a little enlightened, but she suddenly stopped and felt a little panicked.
"Why are you looking at me?" Tian Yulan asked confused when her husband looked at her.
"Just like Ziyou was diagnosed with mental illness some time ago, there are too many cases of children suffering from psychological problems now, and force is not a good idea.
It is better to adapt measures to local conditions. "Qian Wen said, his mouth was dry and he picked up the coffee to moisten his throat.
"Ziyou has a mental illness? Is Ziyou okay? Is it okay?" Nan Li was startled and hurriedly looked at Tian Yulan and asked.
At this time, Tian Yulan's cheeks twitched and she looked embarrassed. Most of Ziyou's mental illness was caused by her high-pressure study. It makes her heartache to think about it now.
"There's nothing wrong anymore. I've gone for a few check-ups and it's basically fine. Let's balance work and rest," Tian Yulan said.
"Why is such a well-behaved child like Ziyou suffering from mental illness?" Nan Li asked.
Qian Wen didn't want to talk about this aspect, so he changed the subject and said, "I'm telling you this just to tell you that today's children, especially children from good families like ours, are more likely to have problems.
You can force them to do something, but if you keep forcing it, you will not only hurt the children, but also ourselves.
Today’s children need to be raised according to circumstances.
Huanhuan can develop in the long term, slowly start to develop good study habits, let her adapt to learning, and then continue to develop her talents, singing and dancing, not falling behind in both, and having a variety of choices during the college entrance examination.
Of course, what I said is just my personal opinion and for reference only. If you and Brother Xia want to train Huanhuan to become a top student, just treat it as if I didn’t say anything. "After Qian Wen finished speaking, he shrugged, took the dessert in front of Tian Yulan, picked up a small spoon and ate it.
After listening to this, Nan Li was thoughtful. She was already smart, but she was confused when she cared about her. She was affected by Xiao Shengchu's anxiety.
After listening to Qian Wen's advice on how to cultivate children according to local conditions and their circumstances, she suddenly became enlightened.
Especially when she heard that Ziyou had a mental illness, she was shocked. Huanhuan has been very tired of studying recently, is not as sensible as before, and has a strong rebellious spirit. These are all related to psychology, and she does not want Huanhuan to have problems.
"But Huanhuan has a strong self-esteem and gets sad when she sees herself lagging behind, but she still doesn't work hard..." Nan Li was puzzled.
Qian Wen swallowed the cake in his mouth, took a sip of coffee, and cleared his mouth, "Didn't I tell you, it's all because of you and Brother Xia, you are too doting on Huanhuan.
You must love your children with moderation. As your children get older, you must cultivate correct concepts and indulge them blindly. In the end, not only will your children suffer, but you will suffer as well.
Communicate well with Brother Xia, and one of you will be the one to blame, and then find a balance between study and interest for Huanhuan, so that she can develop good habits and correct concepts.
If this continues, will Huanhuan be worse in the future?
Coupled with the help and support of our parents, it is more than enough for them to gain a foothold in society when they grow up. As for the rest, they can just let them make their own way. "
Nan Li nodded. After listening to Qian Wen's insights, Nan Li felt much less anxious.
She didn't have to let Huanhuan compete with others, but she was influenced by her colleagues and the current educational environment.
Qian Wen stood up and said, "As for Huanhuan's math scores..."
Nan Li looked up at Qian Wen.
"I also heard Zhang Xueer and Zhong Yi talking about the learning situation of several children. Huanhuan is smart, but she is impatient. This requires you to give severe criticism and correction.
If there is a problem with your learning attitude, nothing can be done to fix it. "
When he looked at Xiao Sheshe, he felt that there was something wrong with Huanhuan's attitude towards learning, and it wasn't that tutoring was not in place.
Tian Yulan then recommended some learning techniques to Nan Li. The three chatted for a while and then left.
Outside the cafe, Nan Li drove away, and Tian Yulan suddenly patted Qian Wen on the arm.
Qian Wen looked at her, "What's wrong?"
"I didn't expect that you have a lot of knowledge on how to educate children. From now on, I will leave Ziyou's education to you. I will also take a break." Tian Yulan. said.
"Haha~" Qian Wen laughed twice and did not bring up the topic, "Go home, go home."
He is also the loudest talker, so he asked him to teach Zi You, haha, he was afraid that Zi You would inherit his magical skill of sleeping in.
As for how to educate Huanhuan, after seeing Xiao Shede and myself having gone through nine years of compulsory education, college entrance examination, university, and going out into the society, it was a good idea to talk about it all at once.
But he didn't lie, Huanhuan was just spoiled, and Huanhuan loved the stage, so she could slowly develop in this area.
Driving back to the community, Tian Yulan held the Lego bricks for Ziyou in the underground garage. When Tian Yulan saw them, she couldn't help but step on his foot. It would take a long time to work so big.
After returning home, I hid the gifts, rolled up my sleeves, and prepared to help Tian Yulan cook a feast.
His surprise was a big Lego brick, and Tian Yulan's was a big meal.
When they were almost done, Ziyou and Cai Juying came back.
"Gift, my gift~" Ziyou, who had changed her shoes, couldn't wait to run into the kitchen.
"Dad, my gift." Ziyou said with wide eyes.
Qian Wen raised the king crab in his hand and said, "How about this surprise? You've always wanted to eat it. It was flown here."
Ziyou blinked, and the smile on his face faded slightly, which was a little different from what he imagined.
Qian Wen looked at Ziyou's cute expression and smiled inwardly.
Tian Yulan rolled her eyes at Qian Wen and looked at Ziyou, "Your father's gift is hidden at home. Go find it yourself."
"Oh~" Ziyou happily went around the house looking for gifts.
"It's boring. If the kids don't play with it, why would they do it?" Qian Wen shook his head in disappointment.
After hearing this, Tian Yulan glared at Qian Wen and said angrily, "Stop holding up my king crab, clean it up quickly and put it in the pot."
Cai Juying walked in, "Is there anything you need my help with?"
"Just eat what you've been waiting for." Tian Yulan said with a smile.
Ziyou, who was running around the house, finally found the gift behind his bedroom door and happily dragged the gift to the kitchen.
Seeing Ziyou's stinking look, Tian Yulan gave him a gentle kick on the butt, "Stop showing off, it's time to eat soon, move the things to your toy room."
Ziyou laughed and walked away.
Qian Wen took care of the ingredients, wiped his hands and went out.
Cai Juying was sitting in the living room, and Qian Wen sat over, "Mom, what have you been doing recently?"
Cai Juying smiled and said, "It's okay to dance with your Aunt Lin every day and participate in senior activities."
Aunt Lin is the retired lawyer who helped Cai Juying when she traveled to Hainan. Now the relationship between the two is very good.
After dinner was served, Ziyou reluctantly came out of the toy room.
Cai Juying sat next to Ziyou and handled the crab legs of the king crab.
"Ouch~" Tian Yulan suddenly slapped his head.
Qian Wen looked over and said, "What's wrong? I was shocked."
"Today we were supposed to draw numbers with Nan Li, but when you came here, you interrupted and forgot to mention it." Tian Yulan said helplessly.
"Lottery? Is this the first lottery for Xiaosheng?" Qian Wen asked.
"Well, during the parent-teacher meeting today, some parents said that there may be a lottery for primary school students to be promoted to junior high school in the future, and Teacher Zhang Xueer may also do so.
Nan Li and I are a little worried. "Tian Yulan said.
"What are you worried about? Ziyou's grades are so good that he won't be afraid of the lottery. You still need to be strong. If Ziyou can always maintain good study habits, it will be the same wherever he goes.
Besides, the policy of lottery for primary school students has not been released yet. Why are you anxious? Besides, it is not up to you to decide whether there is such a policy. Why bother worrying about it? "
"Our family Ziyou is going to Hanlin Middle School. If there is a real lottery..." Tian Yulan shook his head.
"It's not up to us to decide whether to lottery or not, we just have to wait for the policy.
In short, the knowledge you learn is your own. Qian Wen said softly.
Tian Yulan glanced at Qian Wen, heartbroken!
After dinner, Ziyou finished his homework, and Tian Yulan agreed that there would be no additional study time today and he was allowed to play.
Ziyou rushed into the toy room happily.
Tian Yulan on the side glared at Qian Wen, and Qian Wen looked at her inexplicably, "What's wrong, you have a stroke in your eye?"
"I think you're out of your mind. You bought such big Lego bricks for Ziyou. How long do you want him to build them? Why don't you help him build them as soon as possible?
Do you want him to be absent-minded and thinking about this while studying?" Tian Yulan scolded.
Qian Wen rubbed the back of his head. He really didn't think it through well. Ziyou was just being sensible. Children's playful nature is still hard to suppress. Playing with this stuff for a long time does affect learning.
He laughed dryly and followed into the toy room. After a while, Tian Yulan came in with two glasses of juice, and then Cai Juying came in too.
The Lego bricks I bought for Ziyou were a very large aircraft carrier, and it was extremely difficult and brain-consuming to put together.
Even with the drawings in hand, I have to think about it for a while.
"Here, here, you idiot didn't put it there..." Tian Yulan commanded.
"You are an idiot. You are obviously here, but your eyes are lame..." Qian Wen said unconvinced.
"No, it should be here..." Ziyou raised his hand.
"Shut up..." Qian Wen and Tian Yulan said in unison.
Cai Juying smiled, looked at the drawing, and placed the bricks on her hand where they were arguing.
The installation place was perfect. The three people who had just argued blinked at the same time. The scene was silent and a little cold.
Seeing this, Qian Wen looked at the blocks in his hand, threw them away, and the blocks rolled to the ground. He said nonchalantly, "I'm going to the toilet."
"Ahem~" Tian Yulan coughed twice, "If the juice is gone, I'll pour some more."
Ziyou cheered for Cai Juying, "Grandma is great."
Qian Wen smiled when he heard Ziyou's cheers as he went out.
Time flies, Qian Wen is still the same as before, bickering with Tian Yulan and taking time off to relieve stress.
At night, at Qian Wen's house, Ziyou had already fallen asleep. The lights were turned off in the living room, and Qian Wen and Tian Yulan leaned against each other and watched horror movies.
"It's not scary, it's just some scary sounds that startle you." Qian Wen said speechlessly.
"This is already pretty good. If you look at the horror movies in the first half of the year, they are simply unsightly. They were either mentally ill or hallucinogens. They simply rubbed the audience's IQ to the ground." Tian Yulan said.
"I won't watch anymore. The more I watch, the more I feel like an idiot and a waste of electricity." Qian Wen turned off the TV speechlessly.
The two of them were too lazy to move. They just leaned on the sofa and opened their eyes, looking at the large floor-to-ceiling windows and the bright lights outside.
"Husband, the number-choice cup will start in a week. Do you think Ziyou can do well in the exam?" Tian Yulan asked worriedly, her heart pounding, and she was more nervous than anyone else.
Qian Wen touched Tian Yulan's forehead, smoothed her frown, and said softly, "You have seen Ziyou's efforts, why don't you believe him."
"It's not that I don't believe Ziyou, I just feel nervous unconsciously and my heart is pounding.
By the way, Ziyou has a fever as soon as he takes the exam. How about I take him to the hospital tomorrow? "Tian Yulan said incoherently.
Qian Wen rubbed Tian Yulan's ears, which felt a little hot. He did not accuse her of seeking medical treatment in a hurry, but said softly, "You attach too much importance to the cup selection, it is just a test.
Besides, didn't you talk to Zhong Yi a few days ago? Didn't he guarantee that Ziyou would have a high chance of winning first prize, or at worst, second prize.
In the past few days, Ziyou has written a lot of papers from previous years. I think he has been taking it easy. Why are you scared?
Also, Ziyou is prone to fever during exams. Didn’t the psychiatrist say it’s because of too much pressure? You want Ziyou to relax.
Cramming is not suitable for Ziyou. He now wants to relieve his stress and prepare for the game of choosing a few cups. "
"But..." Tian Yulan was still worried.
It was as if Ziyou wasn't going to take the exam, but she was going to take it.
"Okay, listen to me. From tomorrow on, Ziyou must keep a relaxed attitude. You can't mention first prize, second prize, etc. in front of him," Qian Wen said.
Tian Yulan sighed, she was too nervous.
"Just wait until Ziyou fills up your trophy bookshelf." Qian Wen said softly.
When moving, Tian Yulan brought all the trophies that Ziyou had won before, and only the c-position was missing a few trophies.
"Why don't Ziyou take that master class? I heard from the parent group that it's very good. Why don't you let Ziyou go and listen to it?" Tian Yulan suggested again.
Qian Wen held up his forehead and fell down.
This is really true that the emperor is not in a hurry and the eunuch is.
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