After hearing Cao Zhiqiang's assurance, Zhu Lin was not happy at all. Instead, he sighed softly, closed his eyes again, and lay on Cao Zhiqiang's chest.
"Zhiqiang, I don't know if you believe it or not, but actually now, I have no intention of continuing to be a star."
After a brief pause, Zhu Lin continued to murmur: "To be honest, when I first tried to hook up with you, I was not innocent. More importantly, I wanted to climb up your big tree to give myself more opportunities.
The reason is that at that time, I really wanted to be a good actor, a well-known actor who is a household name, maybe like you said, I wanted to be a big star.
As for why I think so, it may be because I am unwilling to do so.
When I was very young, everyone praised me for being beautiful and smart. During school, I also participated in many activities.
I am basically the representative of any school dance activities or singing activities.
So when I was very young, I liked the feeling of being watched by thousands of people on stage.
However, my parents always wanted me to go to work step by step and did not want me to be an actor. I was unable to resist at that time and could only follow their wishes and go to school, graduate and work step by step.
However, the work at the institute was too boring.
There, I just drink tea, read newspapers and talk about home affairs all day long, and don't care whether you are beautiful or not.
On the contrary, being beautiful makes one feel isolated.
Therefore, my life in the research institute is actually not happy, and I have long wanted to change my life.
By accident, I became an actor. Although it was only a supporting role, it ignited my passion.
For the first time, I realized that being an actor and interpreting different lives is so fun and joyful.
So I resolutely applied for Nortel's short-term training course to learn acting, and I also camped around, hoping to find filming opportunities.
It's a pity that because my parents, my husband, and all the relatives and friends around me don't support me, I can only find a way by myself.
But because I studied acting and often drank and dined with people in the entertainment industry, my husband became more and more dissatisfied with me. We had more and more conflicts and our relationship became worse and worse.
Coupled with the fact that I have never had children, my husband, no, my ex-husband, has been ridiculed by others. Finally, after a big quarrel, we completely parted ways and became strangers.
However, due to many reasons at that time, we did not divorce. After all, the impact of divorce was too great, and he and I couldn't bear it at the time.
So, we just maintained the name of husband and wife, and then ignored each other, sharing the same room but different beds.
However, even though I worked so hard for filming, I ended up entering the industry too late.
In terms of age, I can't compare to those girls in their early twenties.
In terms of qualifications, I can't compare to those professional actors with a professional background who have been acting for many years.
I am a half-way monk, a middle-aged woman who graduated from a short-term training class. In fact, my acting career is very narrow.
Fortunately, I was pretty enough and suitable for playing roles like technicians and intellectuals. In addition, a deputy director of the Emei Factory took a fancy to me, which gave me more hope.
However, although I joined the Emei Factory, reality poured cold water on me.
After I joined Emei Film Studio, I realized that even if I joined a film studio and became a full-time actor, I wouldn't be able to film films at any time. I would still have to wait for notifications and opportunities.
Although the deputy director was optimistic about me and asked me to join the Emei Factory, he made a movie "Legend of the Pear Garden" soon after and asked me to be the heroine, but the response of this movie was not very good.
Then, maybe because of the poor response to that drama, I continued to be ignored and no new dramas were given to me.
This kind of waiting day is very scary, because many actors just wait and wait and wait, and finally wait until they are in the cold palace and become unknown.
I am already thirty, unlike those young people who can still afford to wait.
They can wait, I can't wait any longer.
The further time goes by, the narrower my acting options become, and I don’t want to just wait passively.
So I returned to Beijing and contacted a group of friends I had met when I was studying at Nortel, hoping that they would give me a chance to film, even if it was a TV series.
Sure enough, the connections I had made before worked, and Director Mi quickly gave me an opportunity to film a TV series with only three episodes called "The Curved Stone Path."
It was a feature film in which I played the heroine Qin Xiaowan, a young woman who loves literature.
At that time, the leading actor who played with me was a newbie than me, but his acting skills were okay and he was very talented. "
"Wait a minute." Cao Zhiqiang suddenly interrupted, "Who is the leading actor you are talking about?"
Zhu Lin said softly: "His name is Zhang Guoli, a newcomer from the Railway Bureau's cultural troupe."
Then, Zhu Lin opened his eyes and smiled slightly: "Why, are you jealous? Don't worry, although it is a romance film, there are no intimate scenes between me and him in it."
Cao Zhiqiang blinked and smiled: "No way, I didn't mean that, I was just curious about the male protagonist.
After all, you also said that he has good acting skills and is very talented, so I thought about poaching him to my film studio. "
"Duplicity!" Zhu Lin rolled his eyes at Cao Zhiqiang.
Cao Zhiqiang touched his nose and then said: "You continue, I will listen."
Zhu Lin flattened his lips and actually said coquettishly: "You have ruined the atmosphere, what else are you talking about?"
Cao Zhiqiang chuckled: "It's okay, just tell a story. Just tell me your past things like someone else, I like to hear it."
After a brief pause, Cao Zhiqiang said: "Speaking of which, although we have known each other for such a long time and even have children, I know very little about your past. Therefore, I want to make up for it, which can be considered as making up for it."
"What, you feel guilty? Are you guilty?" Zhu Lin looked sideways at Cao Zhiqiang.
Cao Zhiqiang nodded: "Yes."
Zhu Lin smiled, then happily hugged Cao Zhiqiang tightly, and said with a smile: "You have a conscience!"
After a while, Zhu Lin continued softly: "Well, after filming that TV series, it was said that the response after it was broadcast was pretty good, so not long after, Director Xu took the initiative to find me and wanted to make a music film with me. drama."
"Director Xu?" Cao Zhiqiang asked subconsciously, "You mean Xu Qingdong?"
"Yes, that's him." Zhu Lin raised his head and smiled, "He wanted to make the first musical TV series in China, and he took a fancy to me and wanted me to be the heroine.
But although he was a director, he lacked funds, so he looked for investment everywhere, and then..."
"Then you found it on my head?" Cao Zhiqiang smiled.
"Yes!" Zhu Lin smiled and nodded, "Originally, he wanted to beat you, a rich man, but in the end, he was not good enough and his musical TV series was not filmed. On the contrary, even him and me were defeated by you. Kidnapped together."
"Hehe." Cao Zhiqiang smiled.
But soon, Cao Zhiqiang frowned: "Wait a minute, you said that Director Mi from before took the initiative to ask you to film a TV series. He, he didn't make any undue demands on you, right?"
Zhu Lin immediately teased: "I knew you were going to ask that."
Then, Zhu Lin explained: "Don't worry, Director Mi is my former colleague at Emei Factory and my lover.
When I was in Emei Factory, I received a lot of help from this elder sister.
That "Curved Stone Path" was director Mi's first TV series. Because of his good relationship with me, he asked me to be the heroine.
Therefore, I have absolutely no personal relationship with Director Mi. After all, in private, I always call him brother-in-law.
In our relationship, how could he have any undue thoughts about me?
Can you please stop thinking that the director is so bad?
No matter what director, they are all as shameless as you! "
Cao Zhiqiang touched his nose in embarrassment again: "What, I am not you... Ahem, forget it, let's not talk about that.
However, who is that good eldest sister you are talking about? "
"She is much more famous than me." Zhu Lin smiled and said, "Pan Hong, have you heard of her?"
"Pan Hong?" Cao Zhiqiang raised an eyebrow, "You mean, the Pan Hong who played Du Shiniang?"
"Yes, that's her!" Zhu Lin nodded with a smile.
As soon as he heard this, Cao Zhiqiang knew who it was.
After all, when it comes to Pan Hong who plays Du Shiniang in China, there seems to be only one.
Compared to the unknown Zhu Lin, Pan Hong's fame in China at this time is not much different, not to mention a household name.
Even Liu Xiaoqing, who has been relatively popular recently, cannot compare to Pan Hong in terms of fame and popularity.
Of course, if this is the case, then it is true that the husband of big star Pan Hong is unlikely to go to Zhu Lin.
"It turns out it's her." Cao Zhiqiang nodded, "Since you and Pan Hong have this sisterly relationship, I'll wait for you later. Why don't you try to poach her from the Emei Factory?"
"You are really greedy." Zhu Lin narrowed his eyes and looked at Cao Zhiqiang, "Why, it's not enough for me to have you, and you want to bring trouble to Sister Pan?
Wait, don’t you have a special interest in married women? "
Cao Zhiqiang immediately said: "How can you say that someone is innocent out of thin air? How could I like a married woman? I am purely optimistic about Pan Hong's acting skills.
Just like I am optimistic about the Zhang Guoli you mentioned.
As a director of a film studio, I look at this issue from the perspective of a talent lover.
Don't think blindly!
After all, I already have enough headaches with you alone, but I don’t want to offend other actresses. "
"Really?" Zhu Lin asked doubtfully.
Cao Zhiqiang sighed: "That must be true! You must have noticed that although I am not a good person, I am not the kind of person who does something and then doesn't admit it when he pulls up his pants.
Once you have to take responsibility, it will be so troublesome.
Just like now, do you know how much effort I put into giving you a good pregnancy and how many favors I owe?
Otherwise, how could you be a rich wife in Xiangjiang?
Do you know how many women would be jealous to death if you really told your current life? "
Upon hearing this, Zhu Lin fell silent and put his face against Cao Zhiqiang's chest again. After a while, he said: "Yes, I know you have done a lot for me. I, I shouldn't expect more, I should be content. .”
Cao Zhiqiang patted Zhu Lin on the shoulder: "Sister Zhu, don't think too much. I said, this is what I should do. After all, no matter what, you followed me, and you even got pregnant for me. Yu Qing Yu Li, I can't even abandon you.
What's more, I am very greedy. As long as a woman is with me, unless she insists on leaving me, I will not take the initiative to let her go. "
After a short pause, Cao Zhiqiang continued to sigh and said: "Sister Zhu, although you may feel a little shameless when you say this, I still want to say it.
In fact, it’s not that I don’t want to give you a status, nor do I dislike you for being married and older than me.
The reason why I can't marry you or give you an upright status is not that I don't want to, but that I can't!
I really have a lot of difficulties, and I really have a lot of difficulties that I can't tell you.
Not to mention now, even in the future, I may not be able to make the decision on my own marriage.
So, no matter how much I like you, I can only sneak up on you like this.
In order to make up for my regrets, I can only try my best to compensate you materially and professionally.
Of course, if you still can't mind it, there's nothing I can do about it.
I just hope you know that it’s not that I don’t like you, nor that I don’t love you, nor that I don’t want to be responsible for you.
But, I really have no choice! "
Zhu Lin was stunned for a moment, then looked up again at Cao Zhiqiang, who had a painful look on his face, frowning and said: "Zhiqiang, you don't have to be like this, I didn't blame you.
However, when you say that, I am curious.
Aren’t both of your parents... well, gone?
It seems that you only have one sister, and she is also married, and it was only through your connections that she was transferred back.
Well, I'm not forcing you, nor am I mocking you, I'm just discussing the matter.
That is to say, can’t you make the decision yourself about your marriage?
In your situation, who else can control your marriage? "
Upon hearing this, Cao Zhiqiang, whose acting skills have exploded, looked up to the sky and sighed: "Sister Zhu, I seem to be free, but in fact I have never been free.
No, it should be said that since I started to become rich, I couldn't help myself.
My marriage, and even my life, are actually no longer under my control. "
Zhu Lin simply straightened up and looked at Cao Zhiqiang with a frown: "What's going on? Who is controlling you? Who can force you to do things you don't want to do?"
Cao Zhiqiang simply closed his eyes: "Of course, you and I can't afford to offend you, such a big leader!"
"Great leader?" Zhu Lin thought for a while, "You mean, Mr. Xu, who has retired and has been kind to you?"
"No." Cao Zhiqiang shook his head, then lowered his head, looked at Zhu Lin, and said seriously, "He is just a retired old man, how could he control me? He is more powerful, higher up, and bigger than him. official."
"Mr. Xu is already at the ministerial level." Zhu Lin frowned and said, "He's older than him...hiss!"
Thinking of this, Zhu Lin looked at Cao Zhiqiang with wide eyes: "Zhiqiang, you, who did you offend?"
Cao Zhiqiang smiled slightly: "Don't worry, I didn't offend anyone, it was a big shot who took a fancy to me and wanted me to work for him, and I am willing to work for him.
I can only say so much, and I can’t say much else.
Of course, other people may not know what I mean by this, and they may just think that I am being mysterious.
But you are different.
You are a smart person, you should know what I mean, probably what I mean, right? "
Zhu Lin covered his mouth in surprise, then let go and lowered his voice: "You mean, you are actually, yes, underground now..."
"Shh!" Cao Zhiqiang suddenly became familiar with the index finger of his right hand and made a silencing gesture.
"Stop talking." Cao Zhiqiang said with a serious face, "Just know what's going on."
After a brief pause, Cao Zhiqiang deliberately looked around, then lowered his voice and said: "I have violated discipline by saying this.
However, I trust you, and I really don’t want you to misunderstand me and spread your grievances on your children.
Therefore, I hope you understand that if I don’t give you a status or a complete family, it’s not because I don’t love you, but because I love you deeply.
However, compared to everyone else, I can only give up my small family. "
Having said this, Cao Zhiqiang raised his head with a determined look on his face:
“Our country is currently in a state of desperate need, and the international situation is extremely dangerous.
Imperialism is still determined to destroy itself, and internal and external troubles have become increasingly serious.
Without the rise of great powers, how can the small people be happy?
Therefore, for the sake of the country's prosperity, even if I sacrifice my reputation and feelings, there is nothing to regret or fear. "
Having said this, Cao Zhiqiang turned to look at Zhu Lin who was stunned on the spot: "Sister Zhu, you are a smart person, so although I can't tell you clearly about some things, I can give you two choices now.
The first option is to continue being my underground lover as you are now.
With this option, you can continue to be with me, not only to help me defile myself, but also to help me cover up and become my comrade and comrade-in-arms.
But in this way, you need to know more secrets, get involved in more secret events, and maybe like me, accept the arrangements of the organization and be a real multi-faceted person.
Such a choice may bring certain dangers to you in the future, and you must remain vigilant at all times.
The second option is to pretend you don’t know anything and then take the opportunity to break up with me.
With this choice, you will no longer be able to be with me, and we will become strangers and forget each other in the world.
Of course, I will give you a sum of money privately so that you and your children can live a worry-free life without delaying your continued marriage.
In other words, if you choose the second option, we will never interact with each other until death, and we will never have anything to do with each other.
In this way, you have nothing to do with me, and the future will be much safer.
Which of these two options do you choose? "
