"How is it?" Lao Bai seemed to have not heard Dong Qiangqiang's words at all, "I mean, class."
Lao Bai did not immediately explain the reason for the quarrel between the two, which gave Dong Qiangqiang a bad feeling: Lao Bai had just experienced a marriage and knew better how to deal with the opposite sex. Besides, it was still Christmas Eve, so beautiful and romantic. Why did the two of them still quarrel at night? Could it be that what Lao Bai just reminded him was not groundless?
Although Dong Qiangqiang didn't want to admit it, for a moment, his curiosity outweighed his worries, but he also knew very well that he couldn't dig deeper and ask further questions. Even if he is a buddy, he still needs to have a sense of distance and propriety. , if Lao Bai wants to share it with him, Lao Bai will take the initiative to say so. Since the other party changed the topic, he could only go down the slope. However, Dong Qiangqiang originally planned to talk to Lao Bai about his current confusion, but Lao Bai's question saved him the trouble of setting things up like Mrs. Xianglin.
"It's different from what I thought. Many people don't understand it."
"When is the final exam? Is the time available?"
"The specific time has not been announced yet, but classes will end in mid-January. I estimate that it will be possible in February or March. After all, the summer semester starts at the end of March."
"Are you afraid?" Lao Bai asked teasingly.
"I'm not afraid, I just don't know when I will graduate. Do you know? Now I start to envy you, Lele, and Duanmu from the bottom of my heart."
"Last time on the phone, you said that Trier gave you a feeling of 'both hope and cruelty'. Is this still the feeling now?"
"It's a little better than before, but the pessimism is still there."
"What pessimism?" Lao Bai restrained his smile.
"Confusion and anxiety." Dong Qiangqiang admitted honestly with his fingers pointed, "Mainly because of these two, Zheng Chunhua thinks I may be mildly depressed."
"You were mildly depressed when you were in the primary stage, so how can it be severe when you reach the advanced stage?" Lao Bai looked in disbelief, "And when you were in Hannover, you were lively and lively every day, full of fantastic ideas, loved to toss, and could always do it. Something happened, I didn’t see that you were depressed at that time.”
"Maybe I was who you said I was over there," Dong Qiangqiang shook his head and smiled bitterly, "But since I came here, everything seems to have changed, and all the things you said have disappeared."
"You are already an adult, and you should have the basic ability to analyze and change unfavorable situations." Lao Bai said seriously, "Do you still expect others to help you analyze and change?"
"I'm not counting on others, I'm just not sure my analysis of myself is correct."
"Just remember this: no one can be sure of what is right for you except yourself, not even your parents, only you, so you have to believe in yourself, even if your analysis is wrong in retrospect. You must have faith and perseverance at that time." Lao Bai added firmly, "Just like you thought saving me was the right thing to do at that time, you were the only one among so many people who believed in this, right? Is it because you got others? Can I be saved by your support or affirmation?”
Dong Qiangqiang licked Lao Bai's words with a thoughtful look on his face.
"Actually, your confusion and anxiety can be summed up in one sentence: No one tells you how to study anymore, so you are confused and don't know what to do." Lao Bai said quietly.
These words hit Dong Qiangqiang's face like a whip. He didn't expect Lao Bai to point it out so ruthlessly.
He tried to defend himself, but after searching his guts, he only came out with a few words full of powerlessness: "What you said is so cruel."
"But it's true."
"Have you been like this before? Are others like this too?"
"Although I majored in music, not liberal arts like you, it's not easier than yours. Art exams are sometimes even more difficult than yours, because there are many knowledge points that cannot be quantified. For example, they all play Beethoven's works. Even if I am good at every note, my German classmates and even my Austrian and Polish classmates have higher grades than me, but they just don’t understand the music well enough. What should you do if you encounter this? Is it useful to just be anxious and confused?"
"I'll go..." Dong Qiangqiang was amazed when he heard this, "Then how did you live in the end?"
"How else can we get through this? I'll use every conceivable method to fight to the death."
"Use every conceivable method to fight to the death..." Dong Qiangqiang thought about Lao Bai's words and secretly guessed that maybe Lao Bai's hair turned all white at that time.
After a long time, Lao Bai suddenly spoke again: "I want to ask you, tell the truth. Have you ever thought about giving up?"
"You mean I don't want to study anymore and go back to my country?"
Lao Bai nodded.
"Then I never thought about it. After all, I have suffered a lot to get to where I am today. How could I give up so easily? Impossible." Dong Qiangqiang categorically denied.
"Look back."
Dong Qiangqiang looked back. Not far behind him was the brightly lit Christmas market. The bustling light and shadow did not look like he was in Germany, but more like a bustling street in China.
"Look ahead again." Lao Bai said again.
Dong Qiangqiang turned his head. Although the end of the alley was not as bright as the Christmas market behind him, he could vaguely see the colorful lights.
Only where he stood now was dark and dark.
"If one day in the future you really can't continue studying and want to give up, remember that your future and retreat are bright. It doesn't matter whether you grit your teeth and persist or give up happily. Graduation is not the only thing in life. As long as you think it’s worthy of you, other people’s opinions don’t matter. The only thing that matters is that before you give up, you must ask yourself whether you have used all methods to overcome the difficulties. If not, then You will definitely regret it in the future. I hope you would rather hate it than regret it."
After Lao Bai finished speaking, he continued to walk forward. Dong Qiangqiang turned around and looked back again. A fire seemed to rise in his heart. Although the fire was not big, it was extremely bright.
Unknowingly, the two of them came to a fork in the alley. Before they could completely pass, someone from the shadows on the other side of the fork suddenly said: "Merry Christmas! Gentlemen!"
Although Dong Qiangqiang didn't stay in Trier for a long time, his daily chat with the landlord made him instantly recognize the other person's standard Trier accent.
Under the dim and dim light, Dong Qiangqiang saw a slovenly-looking young man lazily half-sitting and half-lying with his back against the red brick wall. The collar of the gray-green coat stood proudly, whether it was frozen in the weather or hardened from not being washed for a long time. The pants were patched, and the front end of one shoe was open, exposing the toes inside. Personal belongings such as rice bowls, guitars, and sleeping bags were piled cluttered around him, all of which gave people a dirty look. A large dog with sleek hair was curled up next to his legs. When Dong Qiangqiang and Lao Bai approached, not only did they not growl, they didn't even raise their heads, appearing very well-behaved.
There were many homeless people in Germany, and Dong Qiangqiang was already used to it. But the homeless man in front of him surprised him because although he was begging, he had a rosy complexion, plump muscles, and tight skin. He didn't seem to be much older than Dong Qiangqiang. Most of the homeless people he sees are elderly.
"God bless you to skate smoothly until next year!" The tramp said auspicious words while pushing a dark money jar with only a few steel coins in it towards Dong Qiangqiang and Lao Bai. The money jar slid on the ground, making a harsh metal sound, which sounded quite desolate in the middle of the night.
"Why is he begging here?" Dong Qiangqiang felt puzzled. If the tramp was an elderly person or a disabled person, he would probably throw away three melons, two dates, and eight cents. But when he saw that the tramp was so young and had sound limbs, he felt contempt in his heart.
"Many homeless people in Germany are not homeless because they are poor." The old man ignored the homeless man and pulled Dong Qiangqiang forward.
"Because you're lazy?"
"Because of the different philosophy of life."
"Lazy is lazy, how can it be related to 'different life philosophy'?" Dong Qiangqiang was a little speechless, "They have so many job opportunities. Even if they don't like sitting in the office, there are still a lot of hourly workers who earn 400 euros a month. Besides, he has He has arms and legs and looks like a German. He can’t find a job like us, right? Why isn’t it better than begging?”
"You think it's hard for him to live in the open and be homeless. Maybe his monthly relief is several hundred euros or more, which is no less poor than you and me."
"You have to pay so much money for doing nothing for a month, just sitting around and waiting to die? Capitalist countries are still evil. I also want to get a few hundred euros for free by doing nothing for a month." Dong Qiangqiang has come a long way. He couldn't help but turn around and look in the direction of the homeless man, "I still feel that those who don't work will not be able to eat. What he wants at such a young age is to get something for nothing and have no future."
"He thinks begging is meaningful and his business does not need your approval." Lao Bai corrected, "Just like you think academic qualifications are useful, I run around for money all day long because these are things we think are meaningful. It has nothing to do with what others think. How you spend your life meaningfully is the most important thing, and you should stay out of other people's affairs."
"The Romance of Fairy Wood"
Only then did Dong Qiangqiang hear that Lao Bai was beating him in a roundabout way. He stopped talking, followed Lao Bai, and walked silently towards the bank ahead.
The wind in the alley was blowing stronger and stronger, and Dong Qiangqiang felt that the snow might really fall.
