"It is said that after the Doomsday War, God, the creator of gods and demons, was heartbroken by the meaningless war between his daughters. Finally, he became disheartened and turned his body into the Three Worlds of Darkness. Created countless living beings, including us humans..."
"Nonsense!!"
"boast!!"
"Hurry up and get to the point!!"
Regarding the Doug Kou Hu magic skill, the audience expressed their protest. This really requires him to start talking about the Doomsday War. If he doesn't have a month's time, he will never even think about the birth of Doug's grandfather's grandfather.
"Tch! You impatient little bastards." Doug clicked a few times unwillingly, but finally felt that public anger was hard to offend. To be honest, he really wanted to fall in love with him for a year and a half. In the past few months, The arduous experience, coupled with the pressure when facing Andalil, made the cowhide in his stomach feel like it suddenly found a gap after being constipated for several months, and it was not easy to release.
"Then let's start with the formation of Harrogas. It will also open the eyes of you little bastards and understand the unique geographical environment of our hometown, so as not to go to Harrogath and be regarded as bumpkins by others..."
"Tch, you don't need to say this?..." There were bursts of boos again, especially from the barbarians. A large part of them came from Harrogas, so there was no need for Doug to add any extraneous details.
"Okay, let's take the rise of our great barbarian clan as a starting point and let you brats appreciate the vigorous history of the barbarians." Doug was angry. These ungrateful little brats always let themselves be compromised. The shit that was about to come out was blocked again.
"We don't need..." Everyone was unhappy, and a few adventurers who knew Doug well were ready to leave. They just noticed that this guy had a strong desire to perform. Walking away from the audience was like cutting off a piece of his flesh.
"Okay, okay, sit down for me. Let's start from the third floor of the tomb. It's his. Sooner or later, you little bastards will regret it because you didn't listen to a word from Uncle Doug." Doug gritted his teeth. He said, it was as if the heavy feeling in his anus had flowed back and turned into a burden all over his body. Not to mention how awkward and uncomfortable that feeling was.
"Let me tell you about the rat men first. As we all know, these little guys are less than half a meter tall and very slippery. They swing around with a kitchen knife or a spear all day long. Some of them can also blow needles, which is really dangerous. "Doug said with a gloomy face, and the other adventurers also nodded with concern. Regardless of whether there are those who have really seen the power of rat men, they all know that these little things are not easy to mess with. The adventurers who fell on the third floor of the tomb , at least a quarter of them are planted in their hands.
"But do you know how I deal with them? I don't know, I'll tell you. When I found the rat people, I just stood forward and let those spears and kitchen knives slash me, and then I shouted like this Use force. Just clamp those weapons into the muscles. No matter how hard the rat man pulls, they can't pull them out. After all the weapons are clamped, I will blow them away with my empty hand. The rat man without weapons , It’s just like a joke.” Doug shook his head, almost turning his nostrils to the sky.
"Boss Doug, if they insert their spears into your asshole, can they still clamp it?" A barbarian with a hip-hop face asked with a smile, which immediately made the whole room of adventurers laugh. The man is proud. A woman is shy.
Doug gave the little savage a hard look and ignored his words. He continued: "Once, an elite rat man refused to accept it and wanted to challenge me. This guy was clever and wanted to stab me in the eye. Guess what, dodge? Wrong!! Uncle, I just blinked my eyelids and killed him. The tip of its spear was clamped and it couldn't move, hahahahahahahahahahahaha——" Doug's arrogant laughter echoed over Rogge's camp, and it turned out that even the most ferocious wild dogs nearby were so scared that they shrank their heads and tails.
"However, this is only what I can do. You little bastards, please don't imitate me." Doug stopped laughing, wiped the foam from the corner of his mouth, and said worriedly.
"Oh!" Everyone responded unanimously. If anyone really believed what the boaster Doug said, there must be something wrong with his brain, and he would not be unjust if he died.
Then, it was the turn of the unlucky deportees. This group of mummified fire mages once chased Lal and the others on the third floor to the sky and nowhere, but it was different when it came to Doug's mouth.
"These clothes-drying poles were restless and running around setting off fireworks, and they often blackmailed the rat people and the dark demons, seriously disrupting the friendly and harmonious order on the third floor of the tomb. I was in such a mood at the time, so I attacked them one by one. Finally, I gave all the clothes drying poles a lesson. If you don’t believe it, go to the third floor and have a look. Are the noses of all the clothes drying poles big and red? Let me tell you, this is I did it, Doug.”
"Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" everyone cheering, but everyone knows that the deportees have a big, red nose.
"From then on, these clothes-drying poles were more obedient than my son, you know? Once I finished washing the clothes and had no place to dry them, so I pulled a clothes-drying pole nearby. It didn't even dare to fart, and it automatically He consciously leaned against the wall and let me hang the clothes to dry, and then ran away in despair." Ignoring the crowd's booing, Doug continued, making everyone burst into laughter again.
After talking nonsense on the third floor for nearly an hour, Doug finally brought the topic to the fourth floor. At this time, the adventurers began to gradually withdraw their smiles and their faces became serious. After all, Andariel was in Rogge Camp. Li is such a ruthless character. How many powerful adventurer teams fell at her feet due to a moment of negligence. The huge throne made of the bones of adventurers, and the ground behind the throne were filled with piles of bones. Just the best kind of whipping.
Even an old man like Doug, not to mention talking about Andariel, even standing face to face in front of her, his expression remained unchanged. He was really an anomaly. He continued to talk with foaming at the mouth.
"This Andariel is worthy of being one of the four great demon kings. Her strength is only inferior to that of Uncle Doug and me. Seeing the three of us breaking in, she roared angrily and fired a poisonous halo. Mo Green poisonous gas, black and dense, rushed towards us like locusts. I saw that the situation was not good. Although I was not afraid of the poisonous gas, I had no choice but to have two supporting teammates behind me. At this critical moment, I had an idea. , took a full breath, and spurted it out, blowing away the poisonous gas in the sky, finally allowing the supporting cast and teammates to survive this crisis. Seeing that I was more powerful than her, Andariel didn't care about his face, With a group of younger brothers, I wanted to bully the few. When I saw this, I quickly asked the two of them to deal with the other monsters, while I rushed forward and fought Andariel to the death..."
"Don't tell me, Boss Doug's bragging skills are so good that he can really blow away the poisonous halo." It was the little barbarian who spoke again, and everyone nodded in unison, feeling that Doug just said that It is indeed the most likely to become a fact, of course, the possibility is less than one in ten thousand.
"You brat!!" Doug laughed and cursed as he threw the empty cup over. When the clever little barbarian dodged it, everyone was happy, while the waiter silently wrote down the account.
To put it this way, it is nothing more than the version of countless adventurers defeating Andariel before. But who is Doug? How could he let this vigorous battle end like this? Of course, he said that he would defeat Andariel for the 99th time. When the anus exploded for the first time and the opponent's life was less than one tenth, Doug's face darkened.
"Just when we thought victory was about to come, the whole hall suddenly shook. Andalil, who was lying on the ground after being beaten by me, suddenly erupted with a burst of green light. The wounds on his body healed quickly, and he let out a squeaking sound. A sinister laugh..."
At this point, even though they knew that Doug was talking nonsense, everyone couldn't help but crane their necks and looked at Doug eagerly. The old man suddenly stared like a Saiyan and exploded.
"The hall was shaking more and more violently, rocks were falling, and dust was filling the sky. At this moment, Andariel suddenly stood up from the ground, with an overwhelming momentum. She stared at me and said: You are indeed a person worthy of respect. A master, I have to admit that I am not your opponent, but, hum... I have never had the chance to use this trick since I created it. You have this qualification...
After saying that, Andariel suddenly opened her eyes angrily, waved her hand, and countless dark green gas gathered in her hand, more and more, almost condensing into substance..." Doug said while dancing, adding to his hair. lips.
"At this moment of life and death, I thought of my mother, my father, my grandpa... (omitted), and the spiritual home of us barbarians - the Peak of Atre, and countless memories flashed through my mind. , I let out a long sigh and nodded to Gefu next to me - it’s time to use the unique skills passed down from our ancestors.”
"At this time, I closed my eyes silently. I raised my hands high, and finally activated the immortal secret skill passed down from generation to generation - the cry of life. The sound of my soul instantly turned into the gentlest, ubiquitous breeze, passing through The solid wall blew through the vast forest and crossed the boundless ocean. Even hell could not stop its footsteps. It finally reached the top of Atre and blew to every corner of the world. At the same time, every barbarian warrior We all heard the message from the soul---Warriors, it's time to gather our strength and launch the final and most powerful secret of the barbarians. Raise your hands and let the whole world work for us barbarians. Let’s tremble as a clan…”
"Boss Doug, why didn't I hear you?" The same curious barbarian boy raised his hand and asked.
"Aren't you talking about being a barbarian warrior? Don't even look at whether your hair has grown all the way." Doug looked at the little kid who repeatedly disturbed him and became angry. He wanted to pour the ale in his hand down the big nostril.
"At this moment, all the warriors raised their hands high, and white energy balls of large and small sizes poured out from their palms. These energies from all over the world crossed the top of Arreat and... (omitted) ), and finally converged on me and Gefu. When the energy was full..." Speaking of excitement, Doug also became excited. I saw him jumping on the chair, twisting his butt and waving his limbs. , from a distance, it looks like a bloated and ridiculous fat dragon dancing gracefully, and also like a weird black wind old demon casting spells and causing chaos.
"I saw only flying sand and rocks. Dark clouds rolled in, the sky was dark and the earth was dark, and the sun and moon had no light. The sky collapsed and the earth cracked... Gefu and I were shining with thousands of rays of light, like two suns, illuminating the entire Roge Grassland into daylight...
"Boss Doug, why don't I see the white light?" It was the barbarian boy again. Doug, who was in a state of excitement, decided to ignore this ignorant little brat so as not to affect his current good mood.
"When the strength reached its peak, I slowly crossed the fingers of both hands above my head and made fists. My feet were slightly spread, and Geoff..." Doug pointed to the side fiercely, knocking Geoff who was trying to escape. Caught in the act, eh? When did the Goff piece come? It seems that what I just listened to was too engrossed.
In Doug's pleading eyes, Geoff looked sad, gritted his teeth, and finally gave up on himself, holding his head and shouting. He suddenly stood up like a golden rooster, made a mantis fist with his hands, and then spread them to both sides. ==://. First release ==A strange posture of a chick spreading its wings.
Doug: "Rebirth*Forgiveness of the Dawn Goddess!!"
Gefu: "Despair*The reincarnation of infinite sorrow!!"
"Oh!!!" The crowd gave warm applause.
"At this moment, the dark clouds in the sky rolled into a spiral shape, and from the center of the whirlpool of lightning hunting, two rays of light, one black and one white, fell, which penetrated directly into the bodies of me and Gefu. At this moment, the whole world also felt Shocked.
At this time, Andariel finally finished preparing her own stunt. Seeing the energy that swallowed the sky and the earth emanating from the two of us, she showed a respectful and worthy look. Said: You are worthy of being a powerful enemy in my destiny. You are so powerful that hell would tremble, but you are still a little inferior to my move.
Finished. She suddenly raised the dark green ball in her hand and shouted loudly: Burn, my life, the ultimate secret - poisonous stardust.
Is it finished? Seeing the destructive green sea roaring towards us, Gefu and I went blank in our minds. As Andariel said, we are still a little bit behind her poisonous stardust. Just a little bit..."
Speaking of which. Doug gave up and put down the posture he had just taken. Jumped down from the chair, took a leisurely sip of ale, and crossed his legs.
"Boss Doug, please go on, how did you turn defeat into victory in the end?" The adventurers who were intrigued urged one after another. Feeling the eager eyes of everyone, this guy pretended to be cool for a while, until the poor Vanity With my heart satisfied, I coughed a few times. The huge bar suddenly became quiet, and I could hear the falling leaves.
"At the critical moment, I suddenly recalled an immortal book left by my ancestors. On the last incomplete page, there was such a word---合!!
At the moment of life and death, I nodded towards Gefu, and he looked at me with determined eyes. Then, the two of us started moving in unison, like this, like this..." As he said that, Doug and Gefu started to refer to their body movements. The combined action of Ji Tian and X in Dragon Ball)
Hey, let me tell you, what is the speed of Andariel's poisonous stardust? !
Finally, the two people intertwined their index fingers and shouted in unison: "The encounter of light and darkness, the encounter of life and death, the intertwining of hope and despair, the barbarian's final and final secret skill - the secret of infinite ultimate integration - -Heaven*Purgatory!!”
"Pfft!!" I finally couldn't help but spit out a mouthful of juice, lying on the table and laughing so hard. First release at Junzitang
"Between heaven and earth, there is only a vast white light..." Doug continued to talk, and it seemed that he was about to enter the final chapter.
"Finally, the white light gradually dissipated and turned into little balls of light, falling like snowflakes in the hall. On the stairs, at the foot of the incomplete skull throne, Andariel lay there quietly, his body gradually faded, and she suddenly Open your eyes and stare at me closely.
In fact, from the first moment I saw you, I had a hunch that this will be my last battle. You are indeed the destined savior. How much I want to follow you and stare at your mighty and unyielding face forever. The silhouette looks brilliant, but it's a pity...It's a pity that I am the devil, and the two of us...
At this point, Andariel's body gradually faded away, her mouth was still mumbling, but the sound could no longer be heard. Finally, her body turned into the morning breeze and disappeared into the incoming sun... ..., eh, actually Andariel is considered a talent. If possible, I would like to use him for myself, but it's a pity..." Doug put his hands behind his back. He raised his head 4 degrees, and his eyes seemed to be filled with endless emotion.
"What a tragedy!!!" As his final speech, he slammed his hands on the table. With a loud bang, the hard iron wooden table specially designed for adventurers turned into a pile of fragments.
"Puff...Puff..." I was paralyzed on the table, constantly slapping the table to vent the burst of laughter that was about to break out. I don't know if Andalil is tragic or not, but I dare to guarantee it. Doug must be in trouble. This hard iron wood was obtained from the depths of the Lost Forest. It is not easy to grow. Just such a table costs at least hundreds of gold coins. It is really a question whether Doug, who has always been extravagant, can take it out.
What? Why do I know so clearly? This... is a tragedy! !
After laughing to my fill, I helped Sarah out of the bar. Doug, this old guy, is so talented. It would be a great loss to the dark world if he didn’t become a comedian. Hey, I can’t do it anymore. My stomach is full. Almost cramping.
Look back. The little angel was looking at me with big watery eyes, squinting the corners of his eyes, and I slowly rubbed the pink butt-length hair: "Little Sarah, please don't talk nonsense like Uncle Doug in the future. "
"Yeah!!" She nodded obediently, blinking her eyes, but still staring at me, as if there was something on my face.
"What's wrong?" Only then did I notice that our little angel staggered a little, his pretty face was flushed, and his wandering crimson eyes were full of ripples. The cherry-colored lips reflect the alluring luster, making people unable to help but have the evil thought of having a kiss.
Are you drunk? Although it was my first time, the amount of alcohol I drank was too little, that glass of ale. In fact, only the foam on the top was added, and I didn’t drink much at all. Seeing the little angel shaking his head cutely, showing a naive and charming expression, I couldn’t help but feel that this innocent charm is undoubtedly mine. The most charming temptation I have ever seen.
"Big brother, little Sarah, who had been looking at me, finally shouted softly and sweetly, and before she could react, her little arms wrapped around my body. She climbed up and clasped her delicate body tightly in my arms.
"Brother, she breathed tenderly on my neck again. Her charming eyes stared at me closely, and then her little face came up, and her aqua lips brushed across the tip of my chin, bringing I felt a soft and numb feeling. Did this little cutie become bolder when she was drunk? Although she is usually very clingy, she would never think of being so explicit in public like this. I hugged her With a body as light as a feather, he looked around and saw that fortunately, there were few people in the center of the camp, and now there was no one to be seen.
"Big brother, Sister Willas said, kissing is very comfortable." The little angel saw me looking around, and became unhappy. He stretched out his two white hands to fix my head, keeping our eyes connected tightly. The charming gesture is even more intoxicating.
Shy Vilas would say such things to Sarah? It's too outrageous, but as a man, this kind of lie can never be exposed. Watching the little angel slowly close his eyes, trembling shyly, and leaning forward with his face flushed, I My mind went blank, and my lips that had just drank a large glass of juice felt as if they were on fire, dry and cracked. I wanted to find a sweet water source to cool down, but the nectar with the sweet smell of a girl was already So close.
I finally couldn't help but growl, and I ducked to find a remote corner, covering her tempting lips. In an instant, both of us were trembling slightly at the same time, and the girl's sweet breath was constantly being snatched away, filling our mouths. The fragrance, the fragrance that fills the nose, even every skin that comes into contact, every corner of the body, is filled with the fragrance. The chapped lips seem to be filled with rain after a long drought, but the more they suck, the more uncomfortable they become. Satisfaction, the girl's fragrant body fluids, soft tongue, and charming moans are so crazy.
"Hu just left, and I don't know who took the initiative first. The two pairs of lips were tightly pressed together again. From the gap at the corners of the lips, you can see that the tongues have been entangled for two days, and there are traces of transparent liquid. It leaked out from the cracks in the corners of the lips, stuck to clothes, and dripped on the grass, making the originally barren corner reveal the boundless beauty of spring.
I don’t know how long it took, but I felt that the little angel in my arms had calmed down, and I reluctantly separated. When I took a curious look, I almost laughed. It turned out that this little cutie had fallen asleep, and her fair little nose was shaking evenly. , her pink little tongue licked her lips from time to time, showing a look of unfinished expression. It really looked like Sarah had the qualifications of a pervert.
"Brother Wuwu, Sarah has grown up." In the dream, the little angel didn't know what he was dreaming about. He muttered a few words and showed a sweet and happy smile again. At this moment, even the most beautiful gem in the world has to be Eclipsed by her appearance.
Little guy, you're still early. I chuckled and pinched her little nose.
Yeah, yeah, I'm already very feminine, but my body is not up to standard, forget about my breasts, at least I have to be a little taller, and there's still a year or two left, so it should be fine. As I walked home with my little angel in my arms, I I thought this with some uncertainty.
