So this is what a fortune teller does. He observes your words, listens to your words, and can grasp a lot of information about you when chatting with you, but you don't notice it at all.
But this also requires real skills. Don’t think that fortune-telling is all about following routines. It’s about finding out key information and clues from your words and calculating them for you without even realizing it.
Everyone knows that fortune telling relies on horoscopes, but this is not absolute. Two children born at the same time and in the same place may have completely opposite destinies. Therefore, acquired factors must be added to make accurate analysis and judgment.
But this little fat guy said he wanted to become Tai Sui when he opened his mouth, which made me laugh and laugh, and I was speechless.
You think Tai Sui is a popsicle, and you want to turn Tai Sui into a popsicle. Why are you so powerful? You are the sun?
Normally, the so-called transformation of Tai Sui is strictly called resolving the offense of Tai Sui, and more formally, it is called worshiping Tai Sui.
Those who are guilty of Tai Sui, pray to Tai Sui, send some money and gifts, and pray to the Tai Sui God. This year I will worship you, please take care of me and don't let me be so unlucky.
Tai Sui took a look and saw that this person was quite sincere. Okay, I'll write it down and take better care of him this year.
That's probably what it means.
If you want to talk about transforming into Tai Sui, it is actually the abbreviation of resolving the offense of Tai Sui. You cannot say that you have transformed into Tai Sui. Then Master Tai Sui became angry when he heard that. This person actually wanted to transform me into a person. I will write it down for you right away in a small notebook. , I will fuck you to death this year.
I looked at him helplessly and expressed the above words tactfully. When he heard this, he apologized again and again, saying that I don’t blame those who don’t know. I don’t know what Tai Sui means. Anyway, just watch and deal with it for me. Bar.
As he spoke, he told me hesitantly that he had a strange dream last night, in which he dreamed of a man in red official uniform saying that his usual misbehavior had been recorded.
He was very confused when he woke up, thinking that he hadn't done anything bad. Who had asked him to record it?
It was interesting to me when I heard this. It happened to be Xiaonian today. Could it be that the person he dreamed about was his Stove Lord?
I asked the little fat man if his family worshiped any gods. The little fat man shook his head repeatedly and said that my family didn’t believe in anything. They didn’t worship Buddha or the God of Wealth, and they didn’t even worship the door god during the Chinese New Year.
I thought about it, asked him to wait, and then put incense on the door of the hall and asked the immortal family to see what kind of immortal he was dreaming about.
As a result, a man in a red official uniform quickly appeared in my mind. He looked very straight-faced and kind, but also somewhat calm and intimidating.
After seeing his appearance clearly, I asked the little fat man: "Is the immortal you are talking about wearing a red official uniform, three strands of beard, and a winged official hat?"
He nodded repeatedly: "Yes, he looks like this. I remember him clearly. Who is he?"
I already knew it in my heart and said with a smile: "He should be the Kitchen God of your family. Logically speaking, your family must worship him, otherwise, he will not appear to you."
He then patted his forehead and said with a sudden realization: "Yes, I almost forgot. At the beginning of this year, my wife bought a picture of Lord Zhang Zao and put it on the kitchen. I didn't take it seriously. This is considered a fairy. ah?"
I curled my lips at him: "This is what I asked you to say. You don't treat the village chief as a cadre. You don't take a god as important as the Kitchen God seriously. No wonder people want to file a lawsuit against you."
He was a little confused: "No, then I didn't do anything bad. Why are you suing me? Did I post it in the wrong place? Otherwise, come with me and have a look. If there is something wrong, I will hurry up." Change it."
I shook my head and said that we usually don’t come to the door, and besides, I’m the only one in the store.
The little fat man pointed outside and said it was not far, not far. My house was in the opposite community. I walked over in three minutes. I just happened to treat you to dinner at noon.
It didn’t matter whether we ate or not. The important thing was that his home was very close. I agreed after thinking about it, so he led the way and we strolled to his home.
When I walked in, I saw that this house was a small apartment with a strange layout. It was not very square. When the little fat man entered the house, he led me to the kitchen.
The kitchen in his house is open, completely open. I first looked at the surrounding environment, and then at the place where the kitchen god was posted, and I quickly discovered a problem.
The position of the Kitchen God is just opposite the bedroom, and the angle is not biased, which means that the Kitchen God can see his bed every day when he is here...
There is also an old-style mirror in the bedroom. It is antique and looks like it has been around for a while. It just shines on the bed.
Seeing this, I turned around and asked him: "Let me ask you, do you two often have quarrels, quarrels, and quarrels out of nowhere?"
He was stunned for a moment and said: "Yes, we are always like this...can you even see this?"
I smiled and said, "But you two are quite affectionate and often do things without closing the door."
He blushed: "This... seems to be true, but there is no one else in my house, so there is no need to close the door."
I ignored him and said to myself: "Also, the two of you should have nightmares from time to time, or be absent-minded, dazed, lost, and sometimes feel inexplicably low and irritable."
His eyes widened: "Oh my God, you are even smarter than Mr. Ma. I'm fine. My wife has all the marks. She is always like this, or even worse. How can you tell this?"
The corners of my mouth turned up slightly: "Don't worry about how I saw it. Let me tell you now, these are all minor. You are still in bad luck with your wealth, your career is sluggish, and your health is not that good. You are fine, especially It's your wife who's more serious."
This time he opened his mouth wide and scratched his hair, completely shocked.
"Is this...is my family's feng shui bad?"
He finally came to his senses and remembered that it might be a feng shui problem. I nodded and said to him: "Now you listen to two things from me. First, move the Stove Lord to another place quickly, away from the bedroom door. Don't face him. It's blasphemy for two people to do things facing gods. If you don't sue, who can you sue? Secondly, take away the mirror and don't face it against the bed. That thing is for the vagina. Even if you want to find some romance, find another way. Bar."
His face turned red, as if I had seen through some secret. He smiled sheepishly and said to me, "That's no problem. When my wife comes back, I'll tell her that this is all hers..." But I really don’t take Stove Lord seriously. Sorry, sorry, I’ll make room for Stove Lord.”
After saying that, he immediately bowed several times to the Stove Lord, bowed again, apologized again and again, then took off the painting and posted it in another place in the kitchen.
This time, the Kitchen God finally stopped facing the bedroom door.
He also breathed a sigh of relief, then ran into the bedroom, took the mirror out, and placed it in the living room.
He was obedient, and then I walked around his house again, and I soon discovered that the house was very dark.
