The originally harmonious atmosphere at the dinner table suddenly became tense because of one word. The girl who had already shown her "strong" side in the blink of an eye gritted her teeth and sneered:
"He Tianran, please stop looking at things between us with such a compassionate attitude. It's really ridiculous. In the past two years, hasn't Wen Liang noticed that your spirit has become so depressed? If this is you The so-called 'integration', then you should pray that I will maintain the status quo, instead of worrying about whether I still have the ability to accept others!"
She didn't seem to be relieved after saying this, so she added another sentence:
"Do you know me well? If you can't save yourself, stop meddling in other people's business!"
He Tianran looked at the "Bodhisattva" who was aggressive towards him. Her reappearance actually proved the answer to the question just now...
No matter which side of Cao Aiqing, she still hated herself.
The beginning of the love between the two people was too beautiful, but due to the interweaving and overlapping of various times, it seemed extremely distorted, so that the ending that ended without any problem was particularly tragic.
This is something that anyone can remember for a lifetime. It is not the kind of grievances that everyone can sit down and chat about three or five years later, treat it as a joke, and then laugh away the grudges.
Even though they are facing each other calmly now, Cao Aiqing treats this matter like a dormant active volcano. They usually live in peace with each other, but once tested, it is destined to cause an explosion.
It's just that the girl said something wrong just now in a hurry.
He Tianran really knew her, no matter who she was.
"Then Ai Qing, tell me, what should I do? I'll listen to you..."
"You...how do I know? You think about it yourself!"
"Ai Qing, how do you manage to eat, drink, and have fun every day? If you can, just do me a favor... I'm really confused now... I maybe... need your help..."
He Tianran's tone was sincere and he truthfully revealed his heart to the girl.
It has been said that the two of them are very similar. Since the girl will show her tough side when it comes to their relationship, He Tianran might as well show the most realistic and helpless side to deal with it.
And sure enough, as soon as he said these words, Cao Aiqing became a little at a loss.
Since the breakup, the relationship between the two has become too blunt. One is filled with guilt and thinks about how to atone for his sins, while the other is filled with grievances and thinks about how to take revenge.
This resulted in that in their communication, one actively gave, while the other could only passively receive.
But because He Tianran was in this state, nothing given to Cao Aiqing was what Cao Aiqing wanted, so the two of them got along in a stiff situation.
The "Bodhisattva" in front of him obviously couldn't handle He Tianran's uncharacteristically helpless look. Maybe he was used to seeing He Tianran stabbing himself. For the injuries the girl had suffered, the other party cared more about him than she did. The result was bloody. Although she watched everything with a cold eye, she was not a hard-hearted person after all.
Her kindness has never changed. Even though she has boundless hatred for He Tianran, she still hopes to see lovers get married in the end.
This kind of eventual marriage, precisely because she has never experienced it, has become something heavier than "hate".
forget it.
This was the thought that flashed through Cao Aiqing's mind after he promised to give He Tianran some time.
As she said just now, no matter who she is, she does not want to repeat the mistakes of that bad future. This is why Cao Aiqing has not experienced the "integration" that He Tianran has experienced, but has always lived peacefully and actively. The root cause lies.
To use a very appropriate metaphor, if the future He Tianran is the embodiment of an "inner demon" in the boy's body, and only by facing everything calmly after breaking through the barriers can he regain his whole self, then the future Cao Tianran will Ai Qing is the "Bodhisattva" of the innocent girl. She always appears when the girl needs protection the most and protects her.
But now, the "Bodhisattva"'s "big enemy" has been covered with wounds in order to atone for his sins. The heavy price he paid is enough to repay everything, so when he shows his most vulnerable side, she doesn't know what to do...
"He Tianran...are you kidding? Or are you deliberately mocking me?"
Cao Aiqing's eyes trembled. Why did he want to learn to eat, drink, and have fun? He must feel that in such a world, it is sad to be able to live like this, right?
"No, Ai Qing, I am sincerely asking for advice..."
"Why……?"
He Tianran was silent for a moment, then said calmly and with emotion:
"I thought you would be happy to see me in embarrassment, but it doesn't seem to be the case. It seems that it will only make you disgusted. The good life you need is what I hope you can get, but a being like me doesn't I don't want to make you feel stuck, because I also want to fill in the colors you are missing...
I have become a little dull in the past two years, which is something I did intentionally, because Liang is also very smart, so I don't want her to see any clues on me.
But facing you, Ai Qing, I feel that I shouldn’t be like this, because I can feel your feelings. I know that it is not easy for us to fall in love with someone again, because broken people like us have to love us. It’s really hard for people to pick up the pieces piece by piece and love us. We can’t bear to see it like this, right...? "
Such heartfelt words left Cao Aiqing speechless...
This is not He Tianran's groundless speculation. It's really ridiculous to say that the person Cao Aiqing once loved the most and will hate the most in the future is the person who understands her best...
If the souls between people cannot resonate and the communication cannot be on the same frequency, and they only meet superficially, they will eventually become strangers. And there will always be a reason why fate allows these two strange souls who are most familiar with each other to look at each other again.
"Naturally... I already have the best, I don't need anything better..."
This long-lost "understanding" made the girl put down her hard shell, and she unknowingly revealed her truest side. At this moment, her eyes were unfocused as she looked at the cake that He Tianran had scooped out a corner of, and she repeated in a low voice I remember my inner thoughts when I decided to throw away the beads.
As she said, her youth had no faults.
She has lived a good life in the past two years, and there is no one who loves her. However, regarding the current situation of her relationship that has been stagnant, the girl explained this:
"I said that I had the best, so that the people I met later felt a little worse, not because they were bad, but because here, love cannot be downgraded...
I have experienced very good love, and it is difficult to be moved by ordinary love. Whether it is Guo Huai or Shen Qiuxu, they all have your shadow, but they are not you, and I don’t know if this is a kind of love. Fortunately or unfortunately, so I can confirm..."
Cao Aiqing's eyes moved up inch by inch, her expression was filled with soft stubbornness. She stared into the man's eyes, but her own eyes turned red first.
"I hate you, He Tianran..."
These six words, her voice was not loud, but they were loud and reverberating.
"If you would become a better person after you left me, then my hatred would stop here, but I hate you even more now because after leaving me, you turned out to be like this, I'm full of twilight energy, which makes me want to take revenge, but it feels superfluous!"
He Tianran had already thought that his soul had become numb, but with the resonance of the girl's words and every word, seeing the stubborn face of pear blossoms in the rain again made his eyes spin.
Now he makes Cao Aiqing feel that revenge is superfluous...
The man's Adam's apple squirmed slightly, and the dryness of his lips made it more difficult for him to speak, but he still asked in frustration:
"Then why...don't you hate me for falling in love with you and then leaving you?"
Cao Aiqing shook her head slowly. She wanted to hold back her tears, but the tears kept falling from the corners of her eyes, leaving a glistening tear trail on her cheeks...
"I don't hate our love. I just blame it. Desire is human nature and restraint is education. I blame your parents for not raising you well. So when you meet someone who has tamed you, you don't know how to restrain yourself. You can only be a new love. Old love, welcome and send away.
I blame you for your lack of ambition. Even though you are with me, you still look back. I blame you even more for your lack of ambition. You only hide behind you and fail to bear any hardships hand in hand with you..."
Cao Aiqing hated He Tianran.
But as for their love process, she said it was the best she had ever had.
As for the ending of the story, her biggest complaint is just one sentence——
Blame you for not having ambition, blame me for not living up to expectations.
(End of chapter)
