I had a hard time when "Gu Zhenren" was banned.
During that time, I had severe insomnia, a bad mood, and too much stress. Exposure to the evening sun every day increases melanin secretion. Usually, I would move a small bench and sit in front of the window.
"The Little Prince", "The Ordinary World", "The Kite Runner", "The Moon and Sixpence"... almost all of these books were read during this time period.
nice!
Sometimes I cover my head and think deeply, sometimes I am moved to tears.
One day, I raised my head and suddenly realized that my life has always been full of sunshine and beauty. Darkness and pain come more from the self-exile of the soul.
It's like the substitute boy has the ears of a bat monkey and suddenly feels the sounds of nature and appreciates the beauty of nature.
All difficulties are no longer difficulties.
This experience prompted me to think: What is the value of literary works?
No one's life can be smooth sailing. Life is not easy, there are many hardships and many twists and turns. I am lucky to see these works. When I was in pain, they were like lights in the dark, giving me strength and allowing me to break through the mental confusion.
If you think about it carefully, this is actually a very romantic thing.
I don’t know how many years ago, in a place far away from where I live now, there was such a person. He or she used his or her own blood to weave a lantern and put his or her spirit and soul into it to serve as a light. Then it is thrown into the long river of human history and floats on the river.
Anyone who is lucky enough to see such lighting, no matter he or she is in the upper echelon of life, the lower echelon or the middle echelon, whether it is rough waves or the scenery is bright and beautiful. This light can bring him or her a spiritual touch and feel the beauty in it. Or love, or the pursuit of dreams, or thinking about life, or the search for truth.
Human beings are lonely, their lifespan is limited, they are very small, and the entire human race is actually very fragile. We have been living in a snail's presence on the earth. One virus has the potential to collapse the entire human society. Race, culture, and region separate people from each other, even today when the Internet is so developed. However, lights like this overcome these barriers.
Those who make lights, across race, religion, region, and the boundaries of time, tell others this way: I have lived, I have thought this way, and I have been moved this way. This is my light, and I especially hope that I can use this insignificant light to bring as much help to others as possible. Even if it's just a touch of emotion, it's the greatest comfort in life.
Perhaps this is where the value of literary works comes into play.
In fact, I had this feeling when I wrote "Gu Zhenren". The happiest time for me to communicate with readers is not when readers say which chapter they enjoyed reading, nor when discussing the settings of Gu Insects. But I remember a classmate said that I hope to learn from Fang Yuan his spirit of never giving up. I drew strength from "Master Gu" and achieved good results in the final exam. My family was in poverty and my parents were divorced. I once felt that life was terrible, but I found new hope in Fang Yuan's perseverance.
There is a saying from our ancestors, which is very subtle - it is called "seeing the wise and thinking of others".
These past creative and life experiences triggered my impulse to create "Infinite Blood Core".
Rather than writing a book, I want to light a lamp.
Even if the light of this lamp is extremely weak, I still want to try my best to help some friends who may encounter a period of darkness and pain like me. Give them some strength.
What I hope is that when we encounter difficulties in life, when we are misunderstood, spurned, and disgusted by others, when we are deceived by life, when we are tortured by our dreams, even when we commit mistakes that we find difficult to forgive ourselves. When I make a mistake, I recall the roar of the substitute boy——
"I'm not a goldsmith."
"I'm not a genius either."
"I don't have noble blood in me."
"I'm not a Templar."
…
"All my original memories have been erased. My current memories were all instilled by others, and they are still incomplete."
"You all know your names."
"I'm not as good as you because I don't even know my own name."
…
"We are born ordinary."
“We were ostracized and disgusted.”
"We have been betrayed by our loved ones."
"We're always not treated fairly."
"We have also committed sins for which we cannot forgive ourselves."
"We are spurned, exiled, wanted, and ridiculed. So what?"
"Shouldn't we think about it?"
"Shouldn't we do it?"
"The reality has made us so painful, and life is so bad that it is unbearable. Only by thinking about it can we become better."
…
No matter what, you should pursue the beauty in life.
The sun is actually always there.
But do we raise our heads?
This creative concept began to sprout in the later period of "Gu Zhenren". The writing of "The Biography of Human Ancestors" brought me a lot of inspiration in life. When "Gu Zhenren" was banned, he clearly realized this. When it came to "Infinite Blood Core", it was my official attempt and development.
Only in this way can we live up to this life.
Let’s encourage you all.
August 30, 2020.
