"The eighteenth day of the voyage."
"Everything is as usual. Except for Siani who has been restless recently and looking for others to fight with, my brothers are all calm. This makes me very happy. At least they all understand what they should do."
"Master Khalil has not shown up for three days. I asked the crew and they said that he has been learning some knowledge about navigation from the captain on the ship."
"This is really in line with his style. Although we have not been together for a long time, we are already willing to admit that he is the instructor of the Eighth Legion. Sometimes, this attitude of leading by example is more inspiring than other things. "
"However, this incident does make me a little embarrassed. The voyage has continued so far, and we have not encountered any place that needs us, and I feel a little dissatisfied in my heart."
"I realize this to my chagrin. I shouldn't have expected a fight. It may have been my calling, but it wasn't for the rest of the crew. Peace is precious to everyone. things. I should learn to find something to do by myself, just like Mr. Khalil."
Van Cleef put down his pen and finished writing. He picked up the paper, slowly tore it into pieces, and threw it on the table. He closed his eyes and began to restore the paper using his memory alone. Twenty-seven seconds later, he opened his eyes and saw a pile of broken pieces.
Sighing, the first company commander picked them up and threw them into the trash can next to the desk. Tomorrow morning, the servitor will come to clean up the trash. They would fade away like the flames in a garbage incinerator somewhere on the ship, just like his complex thoughts.
Van Cleef has been doing this for eleven years. He has long forgotten why he started, but this habit has helped him a lot in these eleven years.
It is helpful for anyone to look inside themselves, unless that person is extremely proud.
He stood up and walked out of the room, still wearing MK2. His footsteps were dull and reverberating.
There are clear rules for maintaining A status during the voyage, and for the Astartes, they do not need to lie in bed to rest. Sometimes, a quiet moment of meditation is enough to resolve physical fatigue.
As he wrote, he planned to find something to do for himself - but he would never go around looking for people to compete with like Siani.
These days, Siani has bothered the armor-piercing servitors so often that one suspects they are about to become self-aware.
Thinking of this, a fleeting smile appeared on Van Cleef's old-fashioned face.
Siani, Siani from Terra is a reckless young man with no surname. Like them, he is the son of criminals, but so what?
Now, he is fighting to atone for his sins. Therefore, his vigor and vitality are exactly what the gloomy people of the Eighth Legion need. When silence becomes the majority, vitality becomes a rare treasure.
Sighing, Van Cleef left.
——
"The twenty-seventh day of the voyage."
"Business as usual? Should I say that? Or should I choose another word? Quiet? Yes, too quiet. In the past, I could tolerate the quiet because we were always on the road to war. "
"A person who works is happy. I have read this sentence in a book. It is true and not wrong. People do need to work, but they do not work for the sake of work, but to prove their own Value to work”
"As an Astartes, my value can only be revealed in war."
"But it's different now. I can't stand such peaceful days anymore. I think I can guess the reason. The first reason, and the biggest reason, is that I'm far away from the original body."
"The Legion should stay with their Primarch, shouldn't they? That is the right thing to do. But I must live with it, and for the sake of Nostramo's future, it is bearable."
"Although I don't like - I can even say I hate that planet, it obviously still has the value of being transformed. Whether it's the special treatment as the original body's home planet, or the subsequent impact of the adamantium, it All have the value of being transformed.”
"And it deserves a rescue for the sake of those who are suffering."
"As for the second reason, I guess it is because this voyage is not a subspace voyage. In the past, we set off and arrived urgently."
"Although subspace navigation is dangerous, it can at least shorten the journey that takes years or even decades to a very optimistic number. But things are different now. The two-month voyage is a bit unbearable."
"I'm ashamed of this. I shouldn't let this emotion affect me, but I can't help it. I desperately hope that this wait can end quickly. I hope that the transaction can be completed successfully and that we can return to the original body as soon as possible. Around me. In the past, I could endure it because I had never seen our original body, but now"
Van Cleef put down the pen in silence, not wanting to write any more. He silently picked up the paper and threw it into the trash can.
After doing all this, he walked out. The scenery outside the armored glass porthole was as usual. He saw the shadows of those frigates again. They were sailing in the dark vacuum, and their tails sprayed out gorgeous traces, shining together with the stars.
The first company commander of the Eighth Legion walked away silently. He was going to find something to do for himself. He had to do this.
——
"The thirty-sixth day of the voyage."
"Halfway through the journey, I'm very happy. Siani seemed to notice it, and made a point of teasing me during dinner today. His clumsy jokes made everyone laugh happily, even Mr. Khalil. Although he didn't It was clear, but that fleeting smile was still too obvious for us.”
"It seems that except for me, my brothers' emotions are all normal. Realizing this makes the hidden guilt in my heart more and more obvious, and I actually start to long for a sudden encounter-preferably without death. That kind of thing.”
"I will lead my brothers to join gangs and achieve a glorious victory. I don't need to know who the enemy is. They can be aliens hiding, they can be some planets that have not surrendered to the empire, or they can be a group of Pirates. I don't care, as long as there are enemies for me to fight."
"This idea has been lingering in my mind for many days, and it has slowly developed into a burden that I can't get rid of. I am very upset and ashamed about it, but I don't know how to solve it."
"I have begun to spend all my spare energy in the temporary training room like Siani, but this idea is still difficult to get rid of."
"I hate it and I hate myself."
"Master Khalil must have seen the reason behind my recent silence. He asked me several times in a subtle way and wanted to talk to me, but out of shame, I refused."
"And he didn't ask any more questions. He always does that. He has comfortable guidelines and bottom lines in some places. But I actually wanted him to ask questions, so that I could express my shame under the pressure he exerted. .”
"But he didn't, so I stayed silent. I had to."
"After all, I am the Captain of the Eighth Legion. My brothers trust me. The Primarch also trusts me. Lord Khalil also trusts me. How can I betray their trust? I must find a way to drive away this thought completely. Out of my mind.”
"There's nothing wrong with longing for victory, and there's nothing wrong with wanting to use work to prove one's worth, but I can never prove it in the form of looking forward to war."
"I need to calm down, it's a bit difficult, but I believe I should be able to do it."
"In addition, I have decided not to write on these papers that will eventually become ashes in the fire from tomorrow on. It is really a waste. These papers are valuable, and these pens and ink are also valuable. Their value should not be used by me. Come write some bullshit that no one will see.”
Van Cleef put down the pen in his hand tiredly and sighed slowly. He raised his palms to his face and rubbed them. The ferocious face actually looked a little sad at this moment.
Five minutes later, he stood up and left his empty room.
——
"Day 54 of the voyage."
"I made it! I don't think about those things anymore!"
"In six days, we will arrive at our destination. The scenery along the way is finally no longer so lifeless. The frigates are now spread out, forming discrete escort formations on both sides of the ship. We don't need to be so close. ”
"After all, we have entered the Macragge system. This is the home system of Robert Guilliman, brother of our father Conrad Curze, and Robert Guilliman. It is extremely safe, although there are still many places that have not been explored. bright."
"Today, when I was observing in front of the porthole, I saw many ships rushing away. They all had their own missions, just like me. Realizing this really made me choke up. I never thought that I To be so eager for a battle."
"Master Khalil reminded me again today in a subtle way. He said that the most dangerous part of war is not death, but creating a steady stream of dead people while also creating a batch of living dead people."
"I know what he is saying, and I agree with him. Indeed, our fight is to bring peace, to eliminate sin, not to fight for the sake of fighting."
"I survived this solitary ordeal. I did not disgrace the First Company, nor the trust of my brothers, nor the trust of the Primarch. And Lord Khalil, I hope that one day, I can stand up My chest told him that I thank him for his tireless efforts these days."
Smiling, VanCleef put down his quill and threw the page into the overflowing trash can.
The update is complete and all outstanding updates have been paid off.
In addition, I recommend a Warhammer fanfic, first person, the writing is very good, and it is closer to the Black Library style than I am. Although it is still a seedling, it is worth reading. It is about the Custodes.
Warhammer: Gold's Dream
(End of chapter)
