Hatoyama Keiko has always considered herself a selfish person. The reason why no one has ever thought so is because her selfishness is different from others.
She is only selfish for Xiao Qing.
If she had a choice, she would show her selfishness in everything related to Xiao Qing. She would hold Xiao Qing tightly by her side and never give him up to anyone.
However, she had no choice.
Because she is dying.
It was really strange to say that maybe it was because she had been mentally prepared for this since she was very young. She found that she didn't seem to have any qualms about death.
Every time she thought about this matter, she felt extremely calm, as if it was a trivial matter as ordinary as eating and sleeping.
Obviously many people in this world are very secretive about the matter of "death"...
Of course, Hatoyama Keiko also has to thank herself for this calmness. After all, it is precisely because of this that she can calmly think about what will happen after her death.
The most important of these is Xiao Qing.
Xiaoqing was too fragile, and she couldn't let it go.
If you want to think about this matter, you must first understand what Xiao Qing's heart is like.
This is actually very simple, because Hatoyama Keiko has always been clear about this.
Before Aunt Baihe was killed, Xiaoqing was just a seemingly indifferent teenager. He had a tough character and regarded Aunt Baihe as the most important existence in his heart.
Later, Keiko Hatoyama suddenly broke into his life, and then quickly established an indestructible bond with him, and became one of the most important beings in his heart.
For Xiao Qing, both Aunt Shirakawa and Keiko Hatoyama are extremely important existences at this time.
Therefore, Hatoyama Keiko can unreservedly release her feelings for Xiaoqing...and this is where she thinks she is selfish.
Because from that time on, Hatoyama Keiko already knew that she was hopeless and she would definitely leave Xiaoqing early.
By then, no matter how deep the relationship between the two is and how strong the bond is, Xiaoqing will be in much pain.
But it doesn't matter, because Aunt Baihe is still here.
Aunt Baihe is also the most important person in Xiaoqing's heart. As long as Auntie Baihe is there, no matter how sad or sad Xiaoqing is because of her death, he will get back on his feet. He will not do stupid things, because Aunt Baihe is also here.
Moreover, Hatoyama Keiko had actually planned it from very early on. She would first be happy with Xiao Qing and spend a very good time with him. During this period, she would hide it from Xiao Qing.
Only in the last few years would she reveal her illness to him, pave the way for him, and help him to calm down, so that he could calmly accept her departure. Leaving her too early might cause harm to him. The impact is minimized.
Ah... Thinking about it this way, she is indeed a quite selfish person...
However, what Hatoyama Keiko never expected was that Aunt Baihe would actually go ahead of her.
This completely disrupted her "perfect" plan. Not only that, Xiao Qing was also deeply affected by this incident. Even with her company, her heart collapsed uncontrollably.
This once made Keiko Hatoyama feel anxious and scared. She knew better than anyone else that at that time, she had become the most important existence in Xiao Qing's heart. Once she also left, Xiao Qing could barely support herself until now. His heart will definitely collapse in an instant, and he will definitely do something stupid.
But Hatoyama Keiko was very lucky, because soon, another person appeared in her field of vision.
That's Karasuma.
This little daughter of the Karasuma family who was inexperienced in the world suddenly broke into their world one day and gradually became their inseparable friend.
More importantly, Karasuma also likes Xiao Qing.
This is something Keiko Hatoyama noticed very early on. This cute little sister, the way she looked at Xiaoqing, really didn't know how to hide it...
The sister Keiko in her mouth was a very sharp and smart evil-minded person. How could she not detect the emotion in her heart.
Karasuma likes Xiao Qing, there is no doubt about it.
And she is definitely aware of this situation in her subconscious, but it is just because of Hatoyama Keiko, so she has been suppressing and ignoring the emotions in her heart, and only getting along with them as good friends. .
Of course, Hatoyama Keiko has never been hostile to Karasuma because of this. It's not that she is very generous, but she knows very well that this kind of emotion is not controlled by human reason. If Xiaoqing had this kind of emotion and deliberately turned against the other party, it would be too petty and tiring.
But it was mainly because Karasuma just had this emotion and never took any further action...otherwise she would also be angry.
These were just Keiko Hatoyama’s initial thoughts.
Later, when her body gradually became unable to support herself, and when the relationship between Xiao Karasuma and Xiao Qing became better and better, an idea suddenly appeared in Hatoyama Keiko's mind.
Maybe Karasuma could take her place.
[Replace me and become the person who stays with Xiaoqing in the future. 】
Maybe it's because this idea has taken root in her mind for a long time. When Hatoyama Keiko actually wrote this sentence down, even she was a little surprised to find that her heart was so peaceful?
Her brain must be broken, there must be something wrong...
Normal human beings, when they push the person they like out and give it to another person, no matter how close the relationship between that person and themselves is, no matter how "right" the choice seems, no matter how free and easy she looks, Shouldn’t everyone feel sad, unwilling, jealous or even resentful?
Why didn't she?
Why can she be so calm?
Keiko Hatoyama soon found the answer.
Yes, the reason has always been very simple, because her brain has been different from that of normal people since she was a child. She has had a completely opposite way of thinking from normal people since she was a child.
Normal people's rationality and sensibility are always intertwined, but she clearly distinguishes the two. Where it really matters, she will always make judgments based on her own rationality.
Just like here, her reason told her that letting Xiao Karasuma take her place to accompany Xiao Qing in the future was the absolutely right choice and the only suitable choice.
Because it was so right and appropriate, when she really made this decision, she could feel so calm in her heart. After all, it was right.
Strange, really, why are my eyes wet again...
Hatoyama Keiko raised her hand to wipe her uncontrollable eyes.
Yes, that’s it, because that’s what’s right…
Well, okay, now that this matter has been decided, let’s not think about it. It’s time to think about another thing...
In the diary, Hatoyama Keiko wrote that name.
【Karasuma Renye. 】
This man must be taken away before she dies.
ψ(｀)ψ
(End of chapter)
