Liu Qingshan's adaptation of Journey to the West not only copied the lines of the original version, but also added sentence-by-sentence comments from some experts, with the goal of completely restoring the essence of the original work.
Moreover, most of the audience present were from the South. He had to clearly explain the unpopular "Journey to the South" and the origins of the characters in it, so as to show that the story was well-founded and that each of the humorous points was understood.
Although this version contains a lot more citation-like and complex content than the original version, the conversation is more like a chat, which makes it easier for people to accept.
The key is that he perfectly integrated Lao Guo's increasingly sophisticated gossiping skills into this talk show. The only difference is that compared to his original work, there is a lot more dispensable content, which can make Lao Guo Feel free to add or delete later.
His kind of modification is actually very different from the real art of stand-up comedy. Every word more or less in a classic work is very important. He will never add a lot of condiments like he does, because if he is not careful, he will It is easy for storytelling to deviate from the original plot direction.
He also wanted to use this method to leave a huge room for correction for Lao Guo. Otherwise, as a pure amateur cross talk enthusiast, he would be suspicious if he came up with a piece of work that was more refined than that of a professional creator. .
Moreover, he has other uses for this relative unprofessionalism, which is to silence the mouths of some so-called experts and scholars who are very likely to appear later.
The story continues.
The one next to him, Han Zhongli, has a sun-and-moon bun on his head and a big fan in his hand, a cattail leaf fan.
"Jade Emperor, this fan of mine is a treasure."
"what is the benefit?"
“It can be used in winter, it can be used in summer.”
"Then you come and see me first in the summer."
"Okay." With a wave of his hand, a watermelon appeared and he fanned it with the fan. "(Old Kyoto shouted) Come and eat, let's make a fuss!" (The whole audience burst into laughter)
The Jade Emperor nodded: "Oh... this is summer. In winter, don't you fan meat skewers?" (laughing)
"Yes, yes, it can be hot or cold."
"Ah, good stuff, good stuff. Lan Caihe, is that basket of yours a treasure?"
"Jade Emperor, this basket of mine can hold the heaven and the earth, and everything in the world can be put in my basket. And this thing has endless magical powers."
"What's the trick?"
"Jade Emperor, listen." Lift the basket. "She carries baskets, collects cinders, carries water and chops firewood. She is the leader inside and outside..."
The Jade Emperor stood up and said: "The children of the poor have become the masters of the family!" (Laughing wildly)
"Zhang Guolao, what did you get?"
"Jade Emperor, please try this, donkey meat burned on fire."
"Where's the donkey?"
"They are swearing outside." (Many people were laughing and holding their stomachs)
Everyone, please recall first: In your impression, what magic weapons are held by the Eight Immortals?
According to conventional wisdom, the eight immortals' magic weapons are: Lu Dongbin's sword, Han Zhongli's banana fan, Lan Caihe's basket, Zhang Guolao's fish drum, Tieguaili's gourd, Cao Guojiu's yin and yang board, and Han Xiangzi's flute. , He Xiangu’s lotus.
These eight things are collectively called the "Eight Dark Immortals" and are common patterns.
The strange thing is that in the original work, Zhang Guolao showed a tin staff and He Xiangu showed an iron shield. It’s not that I’m not familiar with cultural common sense, but it’s because there are other meanings, because this leaves a huge room for adaptation.
For many people, fish drum is a very unfamiliar existence. To be honest, I always thought it was a hookah. (Everyone laughs)
So in the cross talk, what Zhang Guolao showed was not the fish drum, but the more familiar donkey, and the famous northern snack donkey meat fire.
This is a Saibao event with a strong atmosphere of fireworks.
"Tieguai Li, what kind of treasure do you have?"
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"Jade Emperor, my treasure is my crutch."
"What's the benefit of this crutch?"
"Let me tell you this, Jade Emperor: If you throw away the crutch, I can walk like flying, but if I put it on, I will be lame!" (Laughter in the audience)
The Jade Emperor nodded: "It's amazing! Isn't this a waste of time?" (Some people were laughing so hard that they couldn't straighten their waists.)
"Ah, who is that, Uncle Cao Guo, Uncle Cao Guo!"
Uncle Cao Guo said: "My yin and yang board is very powerful. You see, this is the big board, this is the small board. Kick! Step! Tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-tick." (Laughter)
A fairy who engages in literary and artistic propaganda. (hilarious)
"Where is He Xiangu?"
He Xiangu held a lotus leaf and pinched it open. It was always green all year round.
"Xiangu, what kind of treasure is this lotus leaf of yours?"
"Jade Emperor, after you finish cooking the porridge, take it down and place it on the ground, fastening the lotus leaves. When it cools down, the porridge will be green."
The Jade Emperor nodded: "You have to put some sugar, right? Lotus leaf porridge, lotus leaf porridge. Oh, the Eight Immortals are so amazing!" (hilarious)
The gods all applauded: "Awesome!" (The audience applauded and continued to laugh wildly)
A man came next to him. Where was he from? We mentioned him just now - Wuzhuang Guanzhen Yuanzi, also known as Zhenyuan Daxian, happy.
"Hahahaha... Jade Emperor, I don't have any magic weapon. I will bring you a few ginseng fruits. These are considered good treasures. Thirty will be produced in ten thousand years, and ten of them will be dedicated to me, Buddha Tathagata. After dividing up the good guys, there are only ten left. I will keep five and give you these five."
The Jade Emperor placed five ginseng fruits on the table: "Ah, good things, good things."
Zhen Yuanzi turned around and said, "Here, share those cars with everyone."
The Jade Emperor said: "Come back. Thirty will be given out in ten thousand years. Give some to Buddha. Give me these and keep a few. What's going on with their many cars?"
"Jade Emperor, you eat yours. Yours is different from theirs. Theirs is genetically modified." (Screams and laughter from the audience were mixed together)
Another god came out here, Venerable Bailian, dressed in white, with long eyebrows, holding a purple and gold alms bowl in his hand.
"Jade Emperor, look at this treasure of mine."
"What did you get?"
"Purple gold alms bowl."
"What's the use?"
"It can hold millions of soldiers...and vegetables, rice and soup." (laughing)
"So, have you ever pretended to be a million soldiers?" (Laughing wildly like he's about to lose his breath)
"No!"
"Sit down and eat, the food is served!"
This was a soul inquiry from the Jade Emperor, which turned this artifact, which "can hide tens of thousands of divine soldiers, call out rice, feed hungry ghosts, and quench hunger for three years," into an ordinary big bowl. (belly laugh)
"Oh, great, I have five ginseng berries, one, two, three, four and five. I will give two to the Queen Mother, and I will eat three... No, I have to give her three and me two." ( laughing out loud)
Just as he was talking, someone stood up here, Emperor Xuanwu of Beitian.
"Jade Emperor, I am nothing special. Have you seen this gadget of mine?" He took out a small flag, triangular and pure black. "My baby's name is Zaoqi."
"What's the use?"
"Open the flag and block out the sky!"
"Really? Try it!"
Just by waving the flag, even the Lingxiao Palace went dark.
"Oh, what a good baby." The Jade Emperor was very happy. "Okay, good stuff. It's so powerful. I'm going to collect my magical power."
In a flash, the flag came back again.
The Jade Emperor was delighted: "That's great. (He lowered his head) Where are my ginseng fruits?! Who got them?! I changed them to five ginseng fruits here." (Big
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laugh)
There are all kinds of gods in Lingxiao Palace!
Kotaku is a Kyoto dialect. It is not only a flower, but also a vegetable between kohlrabi and cabbage. It can be shredded to make cold side dishes, or sliced and fried with bacon.
However, my version of Journey to the West is still very down-to-earth. (The whole audience burst into laughter)
Just when he was about to get angry, King Tota came over.
"Your Majesty, look at this treasure of mine, the 13th floor of the Psychic Pagoda!"
"Oh, thirteenth floor, do you have any explanation?"
"Jade Emperor, (singing) Linglong Pagoda is coming..." (laughing)
"Go, go, go, who listens to the Xihe drum! What's the benefit of keeping this tower to subdue monsters and catch monsters all the time?" (laughing)
"I'm tired. I have frozen shoulder, you know?" (continues laughing)
"Does any of you have any treasures to present? Let's watch them together."
A man came over from a corner over there. His hair and beard were all red, and his face was also red.
"The little god meets your majesty!"
"Oh." There were too many gods to recognize. "Ai Qing, who are you?"
"The lower realm of water source, the Dragon King of the vast sea."
This dragon king has four great dragon kings. To the east, west, south, north, and south, and further down, there are dragon kings in rivers, lakes, and creeks, including small rivers and ditches.
The smallest one is the Dragon King of the Well. This is mentioned in the original text of "Journey to the West". This Dragon King is inside the well. Even with this little water, there is a Dragon King. Also based on this identity, I worked my way up level by level.
"Who are you?"
"The Dragon King of the Vast Sea."
"where is it?"
"It's the Arab region of the Middle East." (hilarious)
They also draw lots. (laugh)
He said that these few have graduated. Take your pick from these little dragon kings.
As for this master, he doesn’t like to go to school, doesn’t know how to read, and takes whatever he wants.
Everyone said, this is for you, where are you from? of Poyang Lake. And you? You have the Ziya River, you have the Daqing River, anyway, each of you will get one.
There are also some here. He didn't know how to read, but he knew this: if there is three points of water, this place is good, and the water source is abundant. So he took a "desert". (The whole audience laughed like crazy)
Others may not have so much three-point water, and they may not have three or five characters, but one is great.
These two words have three elements in them: desert! The Arab region in the Middle East is a vast ocean of eight hundred miles. When I took office there, I couldn't stop crying. (belly laugh)
Where to stay? Dig a hole in the ground, hold a parasol, and sit in the hole every day. This is the Dragon King of the Vast Sea. (Many people burst out laughing)
The Jade Emperor was almost in tears: "It's so touching. Are you still used to going back into the water?" (Laughing again)
"That's enough." (Applause and screams)
The Dragon King of the Vast Sea's understanding of Chinese characters is similar to that of many people, but this is where the breadth and depth of Chinese characters lie.
The meaning of some words cannot be inferred from the literal structure at all. After all, Chinese characters have experienced many changes from Oracle Bone Inscriptions to Simplified Chinese, leaving many questions for future generations.
The most typical one is——
Why is "out" two mountains stacked together, but "heavy" can be split into thousands of miles?
Why is one inch taller represented by "shoot", but "short" is represented by arrows? (People are nodding in agreement)
For the Dragon King of the Hanhai, the biggest question is: Why is the "desert" so short of water, why is it written like this? (laughing out loud)
Those who don’t understand the reason can only put the blame on Cangjie: he didn’t pay attention when he created the characters! (continues laughing)
(End of chapter)
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