In this diary, she first wrote about her feelings at that time.
She said that she was not conscious at the time and could not remember many memory fragments, but she had a profound memory of the moment when I made the breakthrough.
She said it hurt a lot, and this kind of pain was different from other pains. She probably would never forget it in her life.
Then she wrote a bunch of words of regret and regret, saying that she regretted not listening to me, regretted drinking Mr. Qian's wine, and regretted not letting me take her to the hospital.
But later on, she wrote something that made me very happy.
She said that actually she could accept it if she gave it to me, and she felt that it was more likely that I would be with someone in the future, so she would have to give it to me sooner or later, but it was hard for her to accept it if it was given to me in this way.
She also wrote down a lot of worries about the future. She was afraid that her mother would know, that her friends would know, and that she and I would not be able to get along by then, and that her future husband would dislike her or something.
The content of this article is roughly like this. In fact, she has expressed similar meaning to me before, so I am not very surprised.
Then I continued to flip through it, and there was only the last diary entry left. After reading the content of this diary, I couldn’t help but raise the corners of my mouth.
This is what she wrote in her diary:
"What's wrong with me? I still want to try the feeling of him coming in again. Am I mentally ill? Oh my God, I am indeed ill!"
The diary is very short, but after reading it, my heartbeat accelerated a lot.
She actually still wants to try?
I even raised my head and glanced towards the second floor. Since she thought so, I might as well go up and give it to her again. It just so happened that she was drunk too much and was not clear-headed, so she probably felt the same as last time.
Of course, I have the evil heart but not the courage, so I just dared to think about it in my heart.
When I returned to Lin Chuyao's room, I put the diary under her pillow, looked at her rosy face, and thought about her last diary entry, and I began to think wildly.
Although I knew I couldn't touch her, I then thought of a compromise:
It’s okay if I don’t touch her, I can just do it myself.
As soon as this thought came out, it was like a flood that burst out of a dam and could no longer be controlled.
Although I knew this was not good and was a bit too vulgar, but at that time my mind was full of that kind of thing, and I also drank some wine and was a little confused, so I finally made the decision.
Like a thief, I quietly found some tissues, closed the door to her room, and stood next to her to finish.
Maybe I was afraid that someone would smell the smell in the house the next day, so I stuffed the tissues and stuff into my pockets, intending to take them out and throw them into the trash can outside. I also opened the window, and thanks to it being summer, I opened the window. The windows are not cold either.
Later, on the way back to the dormitory, I also thought:
I always thought that she was particularly resistant to that kind of thing. At least she would be very panicked and resistant next time, but I didn’t expect that she still had a sense of expectation. If that was the case, I would probably go back and hint to her a few times, or maybe I would If you take the initiative, she will probably give it to me easily, right?
But, then we must first establish a relationship as a couple, and I can't establish it with her now.
Alas, it’s better to feel uncomfortable on your own.
When I returned to the dormitory, the dormitory brothers were playing cards there.
While playing, Ma Tao told Lao Hei and Ma Gan about his wonderful deeds when he drove the A6 home today. Seeing that I was back, he was even more excited and said: "Brother, I went to your bathing department that time. Originally I wanted to tell you something, but Fatty said you had something to do and left. Come here quickly and I will tell you about Ma Chen and Ma Xiaoting's dead look when they saw the A6."
I smiled, went over and sat in front of him, and when he was done, he started telling me the story happily, and said that he could swear that within three days, Ma Chen or Ma Xiaoting would definitely go to the vegetable field to look for him. Follow his lead.
Looking at Ma Tao's proud look, I was also happy for him.
When talking about the latter part, he suddenly said: "Oh, yes, my dad thinks that I have become successful now and wants to show off in front of the villagers. I will treat you to dinner at noon tomorrow and hold a banquet in the village. He asked me to treat you Call me too."
"He asked you to call me?"
"Um."
"Why? Your dad doesn't like to see me and doesn't want you to get too close to me. Could you tell him that the company is mine..."
Before I finished speaking, Ma Tao waved his hand and interrupted me: "No, he means to ask you to come over and bury you, to show you off that although his son didn't study well before, he is now more promising than you."
After saying that, he smiled sheepishly: "Don't blame my dad. He doesn't know that the company actually belongs to you, and country people are narrow-minded. If you don't want to go, don't go. I Just find any excuse."
I joked: "I'm a bit of a masochist. I just like to be humiliated and looked down upon by others. I have to go tomorrow, haha."
Ma Tao thought I was joking, so he persuaded me: "You don't want to go, right? I'll just let the old black sissy and the others go."
I waved my hand and said, "Who says I won't go? I will go. If I do, this is your celebration drink. I have to go and have a drink with you. I wish you a bright future. As for other people looking down on me, I don’t care at all, sooner or later I’m going to slap them in the face.”
"Okay, then if your mother or uncle says something unpleasant, don't blame me."
"Won't."
At around ten o'clock in the morning the next day, the dormitory brothers were packing up and planning to go to Ma Tao's house for dinner.
My phone suddenly rang, and Gan Tiantian sent me a text message.
I was a little confused when I saw the text message.
She asked me in the text message: "Zhang Yang, let me ask you, do you have a virgin complex?"
My heart skipped a beat:
She asked me why I was doing this?
Isn't she?
Has she given it to others before?
My heart goes cold thinking about this.
Although I am no longer the same person now, it still makes me feel uncomfortable when I think about Gan Tiantian being the same person.
But I talked to her before, and she had only had some online dating before.
I hurriedly replied to her: "Huh? Why do you ask this?"
"I just saw a post last night. Two people were very much in love, but on the day of their wedding, the man knew that the woman was no longer a virgin. As a result, they got divorced the next day. I want to know your opinion on this matter. "
I felt even more panicked, and the bad premonition became stronger.
I replied: "Well, if I love that woman very much, I think I might not care about her past, but if she cheated on me or something, I would definitely feel uncomfortable and uncomfortable, but I wouldn't go for divorce. "
Of course, that's what I said, but my heart was not so open.
I wonder how many men can accept this?
I guess most of them will get divorced, right?
Gan Tiantian asked me: "Really? Can you think so?"
"It's not that I'm open-minded. The main thing is that I really like her. What can I do?"
"Then what if we get together in the future and you find out that I'm not the same?"
Seeing this, my scalp felt numb.
Damn it, you can’t really be guessed by me, can you?
Isn’t it sweet?
Did she lie to me before?
I think it's still unlikely. She probably just saw this post and wanted to test me to see if I care more about feelings or my body.
I took a few deep breaths and then replied: "How is that possible? You have never been in love before. You must still be. This situation will not happen."
"What if it happens?" she continued to ask.
