After saying that, Si Lei raised his head and said, "Have you ever felt like this?"
Just as Hesta was about to speak, he frowned hesitantly.
Some rather sharp scenes suddenly flashed back, like a cracked lens passing by Hesta's eyes, reflecting several hazy afterimages that once belonged to her.
"...I don't know." Hesta whispered, "There are some things I don't remember very clearly now... I might have to ask Turan."
The two were silent for a moment.
"What did you encounter at that time, um..." Hesta was looking for words, "Because of you, you don't seem to be able to-"
Si Lei smiled and said, "If a person is still the same as when he is twenty when he is forty, wouldn't these twenty years have been in vain?"
"So what happened?"
"I can't remember many things clearly," Si Lei whispered. "I don't know if I can't remember it on purpose...but there is one scene that has been very clear to me all these years."
"What."
"One day, I was cleaning the toilet at home." Si Lei said, "I knelt in front of the toilet, wearing a pair of bright yellow rubber gloves... I held a loose steel wool ball and concentrated on wiping a stain. Over and over again, back and forth.
"At that time, I was about five months pregnant and had no job. I was always at home alone during the day."
"……When did this happen?"
"Xiaoyu was born in the spring of 2014, so it should have been in the late summer of 2013."
Si Lei looked into the distance, his eyes blank for a moment.
"The stain was stuck to the toilet wall and couldn't be scraped off, but I was exhausted. I stood up, my feet were numb and my eyes were dizzy. Finally, I hugged the bathroom wall and sat down slowly. On the ground... I suddenly felt that I couldn't live like this anymore, so I packed my bags and returned to my own home.
"Later, my mother accompanied me to the hospital...but there was a procedure before signing. The person involved had to listen to the fetal heartbeat again. We all heard the child's heartbeat, which was very fast and very...powerful.
“On that day, we just cried in the hospital and left without doing anything.
"Then spring came, Xiaoyu was born, and everything went smoothly. You know some mothers will have lateral incisions, leakage of urine, no milk, mastitis...I had nothing, breastfeeding went smoothly - but I didn't get better, I lost strength day by day. Then the hospital prescribed me some medicine. Originally I could do nothing but lie in bed day after day. After taking the medicine, I was finally able to move. Not only did I have the strength to check the sea water temperature, but also Have the strength to go out.”
Si Lei suddenly smiled.
"...The preparation period was really peaceful."
Hesta's breathing gradually quickened, "Then...you picked it up on the road -"
"Yes," Si Lei whispered, "when I saw the ticket, I seemed to hear a voice in the dark saying to me: 'It's not the time yet, it's not now yet' - sometimes fate is very... Miraculous, isn’t it?”
Hesta felt very sad when he heard this. He didn't know who kind-hearted person had lost the bag.
"I don't know, can a person encounter miracles twice?" Si Lei suddenly said.
"What kind of miracle?"
"Near miss..." Si Lei murmured in a low voice, "Resurrection from the dead?"
Following Si Lei's line of sight, Hesta saw Si Yu's ward - the windows there were closed, and the airtight curtains blocked all the moonlight.
"Yes." Hesta said softly, "It must be possible."
…
At midnight, Si Lei sent Hesta away from the hospital. The hotel she booked was not far from here. Si Lei chatted with Hesta all the way, listening to her tell many stories about Ding Yuqing and Xu Ruyi, and giving many suggestions.
By the time we walked downstairs to the hotel, it was almost one o'clock.
"What time will your train arrive tomorrow morning?" Si Lei asked.
"It's past ten o'clock," Hesta replied, "but I will still get up early tomorrow, walk around and find something to eat."
"Okay, there should be quite a few morning markets here in Songxueyuan. You can ask the front desk later. They should know about it."
"Well." Hesta stood there, "...Will it cause you any trouble if I come here like this today?"
"It's very nice of you to come here like this today." Si Lei looked at her, "If you come here every day when you are free, I can have more people to talk to."
"……Thanks for your hard work."
"I can see that you are not relaxed either." Si Lei said with a smile, "Go up and rest early."
The two stood still, Hesta's eyes were lowered, obviously there was something else he wanted to say, Si Lei did not urge him, he just waited.
After a long time, Hesta finally spoke, "...sometimes I have a feeling. The longer I stay in Orange Town, the stronger this feeling will become."
Si Lei responded in a low voice, "What a feeling."
"...I seem to have never gotten off the boat."
"Never got off the ship?"
"Yes, I just left the Shengming, but I didn't set foot on land." Hesta said in a low voice, "Compared with the Shengming, Orange Town is a larger passenger ship. It's the same as the Shengming. It is full of various rules. Different people act according to different rules. Those who do right are rewarded, and those who do wrong are punished.
"The only difference is...in Orange Town, the person at the helm is no longer Anna. "
These words suddenly touched Si Lei, and an almost tingling tremor exploded from the back of her neck, slowly extending to her limbs.
"What's worse..." Hesta said softly, "Here, in District 14, it seems more difficult for me to stay out of it."
Their eyes met, and both of them saw some hidden worry and understanding in each other's eyes.
Hesta shook his head first, "...Maybe it's because I'm really not in a good state recently, so I have these thoughts -"
"simple."
"Um?"
"...If you really think that Orange Town is also a passenger ship," Si Lei looked at her, "then you might as well use your experience on the Shengming to deal with it."
"Like on the Shengming?" This suggestion was somewhat beyond Hesta's expectation. She thought for a moment, "But -"
"I don't mean to apply those life-and-death killings. This is a livable place after all... I just think you are in good condition on that ship." Si Lei said softly, "If you could use the rules on the Shengming There’s no reason why we can’t mediate here… It’s just that some things are hidden deeper here, and there won’t be a special code written out.”
Hesta was suddenly moved.
"...Is my condition on board the Shengming good?"
"Of course it can't be compared to when I first met you a year ago." Si Lei smiled bitterly, "This year... too many things happened."
Hesta leaned over and hugged Si Lei.
"...I hope you have a good sleep tonight," Hesta whispered, "I will find time to come over again next week."
"Okay," Si Lei patted the big man in front of him on the back and said softly, "Come up."
