In the spring, Stella drove the car to the address given to her by Chiba.
This is a restaurant facing the street. It is the only one with its door closed on the busy front street. Stella looked back and forth, and once again confirmed the name of the restaurant on her memo - Baroness in the Tree.
This seems to be a restaurant that Chiba used to like very much. She recently bought it, so when Stella asked Chiba if she had time to have a meal together recently, Chiba directly gave the address here.
Stella stepped forward and knocked on the door. The old wooden door quickly opened a crack, and a young girl stood behind, "Hello?"
"Hello, I'm looking for your...boss?"
Stella showed the appointment photo that Chiba sent her before.
The young girl took Stella's phone and looked at it, "Are you Ms. Clifford?"
"right."
"Please come in."
After passing through the cramped hall, Stella followed the attendant to the back garden here.
Today is a cloudy day, and there is no sun in the sky above Tan Yi, but the whole yard still looks full of life. A thick old pear tree stretches out her flower branches towards the yard, and the snow-white pear blossoms sway in the wind. Stella stood under the tree for a while. When the wind blew across her cheek, she felt a kind of sincere tranquility, as if she had become a budding flower in this spring.
Until there was a burst of footsteps behind her, Stella turned around and saw Chiba appearing at the intersection in the backyard.
"It's rare to see you late for so long, Qian-" Stella's smile suddenly froze, and she noticed that Qianye's chest seemed to be splattered with dried blood, "This is on your body..."
"When I was going out, I happened to encounter a mercury needle suicide, so I stopped by to help." Qianye lowered his head and glanced at his clothes, "I won't go to a crowded place today anyway, so I'm too lazy to change."
"...Is it the one who entered the hospital with Hesta before?"
Chiba glanced at Stella in surprise, "You are very keen."
"I remember you told me last time that the mercury injection was recovering well during this period, and you also planned to let Hestad try the electroconvulsive therapy he received... Why did he commit suicide all of a sudden?"
"I asked Valenti, and she said that many patients with severe depression are like this. When they are most seriously ill, they have no energy to think about death. Instead, they are most likely to commit suicide when the treatment takes effect and the depression is relieved... They Relevant protection measures had been taken long ago, but an intern accidentally dropped the skin preparation knife on the table at the nurse's station..."
Chiba took off his coat and sat down at the square table in the yard, "I hope this kind of thing won't happen to Jane in the future."
Stella also sat down, "I hope so... How is she doing recently, is she okay?"
"It's the same as before, but it's still a lot better than when I first entered the hospital last winter. Occasionally I can chat for about ten minutes." Qianye said softly, "I just keep scratching myself all over and bleeding all over again. , she always felt like something was biting her, but in fact there was nothing... It’s okay that the weather is not hot now, but it’s easy to get inflammation in the summer.”
"Can't control it?"
"I wore finger cots before, but she seems to be more and more resistant to these things recently... The doctor said that this kind of protest can be regarded as a positive expression. Now the hospital arranges for her to take medicated baths twice a week. This placebo treatment seems It is very effective in relieving some non-existent phantom pain," Chiba shrugged lightly, "I don't know, give it a try."
"Have you been staying in Tan Yi to take care of her these past few months?"
"I have been away four or five times for work," Chiba replied, "but the longest one was no more than four days, and I usually come back and forth on the same day."
Stella laughed out loud, "...You really look like a mother now."
Chiba also smiled, and the wind passed between the two of them. The waiter brought the appetizers, and a few pieces of pear blossoms fell on the edge of the dinner plate. No one touched it.
"What about you," Qianye picked up the tea cup, "How are you doing well recently?"
"Have you read the newspaper this week?"
"no, what happened?"
"It's still about Richie," Stella lowered her eyes, "In some small cities, some people have recently begun to actively search for girls who suddenly disappeared before the age of eleven, saying that they were sent to the city to be raped. Some people couldn't bear the humiliation and committed suicide. Yesterday there was one in Wulian. In fact, she went to the mountains to recuperate because of tuberculosis——"
"Stella," Chiba suddenly interrupted Stella, "Stop talking about these suicide topics, let's talk about something else."
Stella shrank her neck: "...you were obviously saying it yourself just now?"
"You have to speak for yourself. It's annoying to listen to other people's words," Qianye said softly, "I especially can't stand hearing this lately."
Stella thought thoughtfully, "...Why?"
Chiba leaned back on the chair and was silent for a long time. "Have you ever taken care of a dying patient?"
Stella’s eyes moved slightly, but she didn’t say anything, she just looked at Qianye quietly.
"Some people are very eager to live, but life is there, and struggling... is useless." Chiba lowered his head with a cold look, picked up the silver spoon on the table and tapped the ceramic cup lightly, "When When you see the two at the same time, you will especially feel that the latter is almost a sin - living, some people try their best to grasp it but can't get it, while others give up easily, it's really... unfair.
"People who commit suicide should hand over their lives... hand them over so that those who desperately want to live can live."
Stella laughed.
"why are you laughing?"
"Perhaps this is the greatest fairness in the world." Stella stirred the coffee. "No matter whether she wants to live or not, whether she is a noble or a poor person, a person's life is always her own. No matter how much others hate her, she will take it away. Not leaving—can you imagine a world where lifespans could be traded? It would be a hell, I wouldn’t like it, and I don’t think you would either.”
"Whether it will be discussed elsewhere," Qianye raised his head and looked at the flower branches behind Stella, "but now, I really hate it."
…
In Calvin's hospital room, Sean sat next to the bed, holding his brother's hand and sobbing softly.
Calvin lay unconscious on the bed. One winter passed and he became extremely thin. Sean had never seen Calvin look like this before.
No matter the time, no matter what happened, Calvin was always there - a fact that became to some extent the cornerstone of Sean's internal world.
Although the doctor here tried to explain to him that Calvin's behavior was because he was sick, Sean wouldn't listen.
Suicide means leaving everything behind.
This means that he was also left behind by Calvin.
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