However, although this attraction is so strong, Hesta still cannot understand why the woman in the story always wants to commit herself to Gregory after seeing his "spirit".
She hated Gregory, but if she could, she really wanted to carve out this part of Gregory's soul with a knife, so that she could put this small and unruly fragment into her chest and take possession of it completely. own.
"For a long time, I regarded "The Mountains" as my pillow book," Ava said softly, "until one day, something changed. I went back to look at the characters in this book. Woman, I realized that the word 'Cossack' contains two completely different lives - every 'man who is free everywhere' corresponds to several 'women who are not free everywhere'. Under the unshakable dominant position of the former , the latter even death became a sacrifice to the former.
"No wonder I couldn't see Aksinya, Natalya, or Talya when I read it for the first time. It's not that I can't see it. I just feel that the life and death between these women, It is too boring for you to fight for it. This does not prevent me from sighing with emotion when they died. But this sigh is absolutely not the same as the emotion I felt when I saw a Cossack beheaded.
"They are the women in many men's dreams," Ava said coldly. "They gave everything of themselves, including their resentment, to teach their brothers, lovers, and husbands how to grow from immature boys to real men. man.
"By stepping on their flesh and blood, men realize what real love is, what real pain is, and what real life is; with them, men's magnificent lives are complete."
"That's why Aksinia said she couldn't live without Grigory - her whole life was to become a footnote to Grigory. Perhaps she was his most vivid and beautiful footnote, But apart from the ontology of Gregory, what value can a mere footnote have?
"Abandon your true colors and become a beautiful phantom in other people's memories... Oh, there is no worse or more stupid choice in the world."
…
The night reading session lasted until one o'clock in the morning. In this late-night confrontation, everyone shared their recent reading experience. They sat around and told their own stories and their feelings for others under the night light in the glass room. understand.
It turns out that this kind of night reading party has been in Ava's mansion for a long time. It used to happen once or twice a week, and each time it happened and ended freely like today, and the participants were different each time - completely. Look who was on duty at the house at that time.
From time to time, there were some laughter and echoes from the crowd. Some people talked about all kinds of strange things that had happened to themselves or around them recently. Sometimes everyone was silent, and sometimes they shed tears. For a while, Hesta felt that everything seemed to be back to the past at the base. of leisure time.
Throughout the second half of the night reading meeting, Hesta leaned in her chair and listened silently to others reading excerpts from some reading books. She also wrote down the names of some of the books and planned to add them to her future reading list.
Several times during this period, when her eyes accidentally glanced at Ava, who was also sitting in the crowd, she suddenly realized that outside this room, the girls here were living their stormy lives, but when the sun went down, Their fishing boat was docked here, and the old man was undoubtedly the strongest anchor in the room.
When the night reading was over and people dispersed, Hesta was about to return to the basement where she lived. Before leaving, Ava suddenly called out to Hesta again.
"I remember, the day...is today?" Ava's voice was very low, so low that only Hesta could hear it.
"Yes, it's today."
"Don't forget what you said, Jane." Ava whispered, "Revenge is to clarify your own boundaries. It is not done for others to see, but for yourself."
Hesta looked at Ava, thinking about Ava's implication.
"This means that the initiative is always in your hands," Ava whispered, "No matter how excited the voices of the people around you are, when you want to continue, you can continue, and conversely, when you want to stop, You can just stop - no one can force you to make any decision on this matter."
"Yes, that's right," Hesta replied.
"Okay," Ava patted Hestad's hand a few times, "good luck to you."
"Good night."
After watching Ava go upstairs, Hesta returned to her room - just as Ava had promised her before, there was a black leather suitcase on her desk. It looked like a girl's outfit. Violin case.
Opening it, a bionic arm of the same model as her right hand appeared in view. The black box itself was not only a storage and charging device, but also a terminal. Hestad operated its internal interface for a while, checking the status of the arm.
Soon, Hesta put it on and inserted her original arm into this special box - tonight, her coordinates will stay safely in Ava's residence together with this arm.
After completing all the preparations, Hesta turned off all the lights in the room and sat at the table alone. A small red alarm clock was placed on the table directly in front of her. Hesta stared at the hands as they slowly walked from 1 to 2 in the dark, and then gradually approached 3.
During this process, all the sounds outside the house gradually fell silent - it was the Aljas who were doing the final cleaning work, washing up, and talking before going to bed.
Through the narrow window, Hesta looked at the night sky halfway above the ground without saying a word.
When she returned to the ground quietly, the cold moon of late autumn was hanging high in the sky. This cold brilliance spread fairly across every inch of the night land and illuminated her path forward.
Like a silent bird, Hesta flew over the city at an inhuman speed. She jumped from rooftop to rooftop, over city walls, across the plains, past the silent treetops of the forest...
The boiling hatred turned Hesta into a precise clock. She chose shortcuts as much as possible, while avoiding the boundaries covered by all signal towers. If someone looked down from a high altitude at this moment, they would find that her movement was so precise. Quick and secret.
Under the cover of night, Hesta returned to the old city of Tanyi from the province of Niah in a very short time.
The beautiful old city was immersed in its sleep, and Hestad squatted on the church steeple, overlooking the land. After re-establishing her position, she opened her arms and ran towards the head she was about to harvest.
Mom, that night twelve years ago, when you walked into their palace, before those demons showed their fangs, did you still have sweet dreams about us?
Mom, was the moonlight back then as bright as tonight?
Mom, I will be twenty years old soon.
Mom, I miss you so much.
