Liz didn't say anything, but her eyebrows furrowed again. She held Hesta's hand and gently stroked the interface between the severed finger and the prosthetic body with the pad of her thumb.
"It doesn't hurt anymore," Hesta replied.
Liz shook her head. In the drizzle, she sat directly on the wet bench by the roadside, and Hesta also sat next to her.
This scene reminded the two of them of a long conversation they had at the base. At that time, they were sitting together like today.
"Miss Valenti said she was worried about your state. She hasn't heard from you for a long time."
"Maybe it's because I stopped ahgas' psychological consultation, but I still fill in ahgas' psychological scale every year truthfully, and the evaluation results are all okay. Except for a little bad sleep, everything else is fine... You are still here Do you accept weekly psychological counseling at the base?”
Hesta shook his head, "I don't have that much time. Now it's basically once every three weeks. I don't know what to say every time. I usually talk about training."
Liz laughed, "The reason why I stopped consulting is the same. I don't even have enough time to sleep to do any consulting - but I do feel that I don't need these things anymore. I know what I'm doing, and I know What do I want to do? Now I am asked to tell another person all the things for no reason. I feel it is unnecessary, and..."
Liz was silent for a while, as if hesitating whether to say the second part.
"And what?"
"If I answer you, can you keep our conversation a secret for me today?"
Hesta looked at Liz and nodded solemnly as before, "I can."
"There are some problems that I only realized after I left the base," Liz said thoughtfully. "I didn't think there was anything wrong before. On the contrary, in the past few years, I slowly started to feel something was wrong."
"Like what?"
"Like chips."
Liz raised her right wrist. There was a similar shallow scar on her and Hesta's right wrists - it was left for chip implantation when they first entered the base.
"Two years ago, when I was giving my work report to the headquarters, they suddenly asked me a question that had nothing to do with work," Liz said softly, "'In July 2025, you had two weeks of extremely mood swings. Have you encountered any problems outside of work?'
"Indeed, during those two weeks, a photographer was holding a solo exhibition at the Ulian Art Exhibition Hall. She was a photographer who had lived in Askia for ten years, and the name of the solo exhibition was 'The Non-Existent Wasteland'. During those two weeks, I would go there and sit there for two or three hours almost every day after get off work.”
Liz paused and looked at her wrist.
“This chip can not only detect whether we have entered bullet time, it can accurately identify our location in many specific areas, and it can even record the moments when our emotions change drastically all the time.
"I used to take it for granted that I could remove it after retirement, but then I realized that none of the instruction manuals mentioned removing the chip. Last year, I wrote an email to the 'Combat Support Affairs Department' to inquire about this matter. The answer is that for our safety, the chip will be permanently implanted and will not be removed.
"Not only that, I also suspect that all our communications - phone calls, emails, handwritten letters may also be censored. Their digital backups or image records will be accurately left on a certain ahgas server - remember, Chiba also told you that important things should always be said face to face.
"Of course, you can say that this is a kind of protection for us by the organization, but it is obviously also a..."
Liz said the last word very softly.
"...What kind of thing is it?"
"Whatever it is," Liz looked forward, "do you think there's anything wrong with this?"
Hesta didn't answer - it was a difficult question because she had never thought about it. All mercury needles carry a chip in their bodies, including Miss Chiba.
In many places outside the base, this chip on the wrist is like a key that is carried with you. It can complete various types of identity verification extremely quickly, which is very convenient.
"Forget it, let's not talk about this anymore," Liz quickly ended this too difficult topic, "It's just an idea of mine... maybe, I stayed in Wulian for too long."
Hearing these words, Hesta suddenly felt a haze falling in his heart for no reason.
"Jane?" Liz looked at Hesta, who was deep in thought, and called softly, "What are you thinking about?"
Hesta was silent for a long time before slowly speaking, "Last week, I dreamed of... Dean Alma."
"...the nun from St. Anne's Convent?"
Hesta nodded - last Thursday was the fourth anniversary of the monastery accident. This year, because she was on duty in other places, she could not rush back to Tan Yi on the anniversary of the death. As a result, she dreamed of the old abbot that night.
"I understand, you still miss them very much." Liz said softly.
Hesta said "Yeah" in response, but soon she shook her head again, "Liz, I don't know how to say..."
Hesta looked into Liz's eyes, with a little bit of indescribable anxiety and pain in her eyes.
From the old dean, she realized for the first time that whether "helping others" can happen sometimes does not depend on who can lend a helping hand, but on whether the victim is willing to speak.
Now, the reason why she was able to see Liz when passing through Wulian was largely because of Miss Valenti's efforts. Liz's behavior of stopping consultations in the past few years made Valenti very uneasy, especially this time. For several years, Liz's work in Ulian was almost self-combusting.
Valenti had written several emails to Liz, and Liz had responded, but these innocuous greetings did nothing to help. What Valenti can do is very limited - especially since she is not even Liz's counselor. She can only write to Turan and the others, asking these friends who have never stopped communicating with Liz to pay more attention to Liz. state.
"Is there anything I can do for you?" Hesta asked quietly.
"There is nothing you need to do for me for the time being," Liz's expression was still as gentle as before, "Another reason why I canceled ahgas's consultation is that I don't like the feeling of being spied on all the time. In the past few years, I have become more and more sensitive. The less we believe that so-called counselors can keep secrets for us, and everyone will have a shadow that they don’t want others to know... I know Jane, you must have it too, right?"
Hesta was silent for a while before nodding, "Yes, I do."
"That's it." Liz smiled, "So, you must understand."
After a while, Liz got up and took Hesta to walk along the street. They went to a cafe on the corner that she often visited and took Hesta to have breakfast.
During the dinner, Liz sat opposite Hesta, looking leisurely at the pedestrians speeding in the rain.
"By the way, how is Sean? I seem to have never seen his name on the graduation list. Is he still at the base? Will he cause trouble to you again?"
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