It was late at night, and I was still working on my ppt at my desk. After staying up for more than an hour, I felt like my brain was on standby, so I walked to the balcony, opened the window, and the cool night breeze hit my face, and my whole body suddenly felt... More energetic.
I lit a cigarette and looked out the window. What I didn't expect was that many rooms still had lights on, even after the early hours. The sound of car engines or the sound of shoes hitting the ground was particularly loud at night.
I blew out a smoke ring fiercely. The nicotine took away the fatigue, but it could not relieve my soul. Looking at the footsteps ringing from time to time downstairs in the darkness, I couldn't help but be transported back to the time when I used to work crazy overtime.
A grain of sand in life is like a mountain when it falls on ordinary people. Competition in every industry is fierce, and staying up late and working overtime is commonplace.
I have gone from being a Northern drifter to a senior Northern drifter. After drifting for so many years, I feel like a dandelion that floats around when the wind blows and never takes root.
I couldn't help but remember that I had to pay the rent again. Lin Feifei transferred her share of the rent to me yesterday. I refused to accept it at first, but in the end I still couldn't resist her.
After smoking a cigarette, my fatigue and thoughts drifted away with the night wind, and I turned back to continue working on the ppt.
By the time I finished the ppt, it was already past one o'clock in the morning. I stood up and stretched out in a daze. The joints all over my body were like popping beans, crackling several times.
I closed my laptop. Although I was exhausted, I was no longer sleepy. I looked down from the balcony and saw that the barbecue restaurant downstairs was still open. I could still vaguely hear the sound of people drinking and punching. I couldn't sleep anyway, so I Decided to go downstairs to rest my belly.
The community was pitch dark, and the old street lamps emitted dim light. Just like us migrant workers, no matter how tired we were, they still stayed on stubbornly.
Not far after I walked out, I suddenly saw a girl sitting on the bench.
It was so dark, if her skin wasn't so fair, I almost didn't realize there was someone sitting here.
Her legs were so white that I couldn't help but take a few more glances.
She hugged her knees, burying her whole face in her knees, her shoulders shaking slightly, and she could faintly hear soft sobbing.
When I saw her, I was stunned. Although her long hair was disheveled and her face was buried in her knees, I could tell at a glance that it was Zhou Shutong.
My heart tightened and I shouted in disbelief: "Shu Tong? Why are you sitting outside in the middle of the night?"
She immediately raised her head, and when I took a closer look, it was really Zhou Shutong.
The dim street lights shone on her, giving her a sense of loss.
I walked over quickly. Her eyes were red, and there were tears on her long eyelashes. She hugged her knees tightly with her hands, like a little animal, licking its wounds alone in the dark.
Her look of pear blossoms with rain made people feel affectionate. Although I didn't know what happened, my heart suddenly tightened when I saw her like this.
"It's so late, why aren't you sleeping yet?"
As she spoke, she quickly wiped her eyes and tried to force out a smile.
She was curled up on the bench, her hair was disheveled, her eyes were covered with mist, and I suddenly felt an indescribable feeling in my heart.
I sighed, took out a pack of tissues from my pocket and handed it to her, "If you can't sleep, come out for a walk. Wipe it first! Your face is wet with tears, like a little cat."
I restrained myself from asking her what happened. If she wanted to say it, she would naturally tell me, but if she didn't want to say it, it would only open up her scars again.
Zhou Shutong wiped his tears and felt a little embarrassed, "I went crazy outside in the middle of the night and made you laugh."
"What's the point? There's no one alive who isn't crazy. Cry if you want. Don't pretend to be a normal person."
Zhou Shutong burst into laughter, and seeing her smile, I felt a little relieved.
She sniffed, "Why don't you ask me what's wrong?"
I suppressed my curiosity and smiled dumbly: "I am a good listener. If you want to say something, you can talk to me."
It’s easy to feel sad at night, or maybe in this city
, she really needed an audience. She was silent for a few seconds, and then said quietly: "I'm just too tired, and I can't see the results during the live broadcast. I broadcast until very late every day, and if I don't do well, I have to write to my boss." The reason is that in the past seven or eight days, I have slept very little. During the day, I have worked hard to study product selling points, words, and style, but the effect is still not good."
She smoothed her long, messy hair, then bent her knees, looked at me with her chin in one hand, and laughed at herself: "It's useless for me to take melatonin now. Sometimes I dream about live broadcasts. Maybe one day He was admitted to the ICU."
I was shocked by her last sentence, "Don't talk nonsense! I thought you were sad because Feifei and I were together and couldn't find a man as good as me!"
"You are so shameless!"
I took out a cigarette and handed it to her, "Want one?"
Zhou Shutong waved his hand: "Forget it, I don't want to smoke."
"Try it!"
Zhou Shutong glanced at me hesitantly, "I've never smoked, why should I try it?"
"Just because you haven't smoked before, try it."
She hesitated for a while, but finally couldn't resist me. She took a cigarette, held it between her delicate white fingers, and held it in her mouth.
The faint blue flame ignited instantly, and she took a shallow breath, and the air was suddenly filled with a faint smell of tobacco.
This cigarette was not very strong. After she took a puff, a look of surprise suddenly flashed in her eyes. She couldn't help but nodded to me: "This cigarette smells like mint."
I smiled proudly: "That's right, let you try smoking. It's just an experience. Going to work is also a kind of experience. Have lower requirements on yourself. No one is perfect. You have to learn to relax yourself."
Zhou Shutong gave a wry smile, "I understand the truth, but it's easier said than done. How can it be so easy to loosen oneself!" Kanshu La
"I think you have to accept your failure. In fact, it doesn't matter if you don't achieve the KPI. It's not a big deal. What weighs you down is not the problem itself, but your emotions."
Zhou Shutong was startled, blinking his watery almond-shaped eyes, a bit of astonishment flashing in his eyes.
"mood?"
I also took a puff of cigarette, slowly exhaled the smoke, and said with a smile: "Yes, or your opinion on this matter, if the performance is not good, the boss can only beep a few words. If he beeps, you let him beep." Come on! Pretend not to hear it, don’t live in other people’s judgments, and you will be much happier. Look at me, I’m not worse than you.”
I took a breath and said with a wry smile: "When I turn thirty, most of my friends are married and have children. I just fell in love with Feifei, and as you know, we are not in the same family. Her mother hates me. , and talking about career, I was fired once, and then I just resigned from Sister Mei. I didn’t become an anchor until I was thirty years old. Many anchors are handsome men and beautiful women in their early twenties. I didn’t do it until I was thirty, but I feel that it’s not It doesn’t affect my making money.”
Zhou Shutong seemed to be in a better mood, and a smile finally appeared on his face: "So you mean, I've reached rock bottom! Will I rebound soon?"
I smiled and said, "Maybe you still have room for decline!"
Zhou Shutong laughed angrily and pinched me angrily, "If you don't know how to comfort others, don't force yourself to do so. I really want to beat you!"
"Life is full of ups and downs. Success and failure are temporary, so there is no need to pay too much attention to it. Isn't there a saying on the Internet? Adults often collapse in an instant. If you feel tired, take a break."
"Hearing you say that makes me feel much better."
She paused and showed a relieved smile: "I originally thought that after signing with a leading company, I would become a big anchor! I didn't expect the pressure to be so great."
I comforted her and said, "Actually, you don't need to envy others. You can look at the photos of people traveling and showing off their wealth in WeChat Moments, but think about it. What is shown to you is all the good side. Who wants to show the bad side to you?" Others see it? So relax, I have closed the circle of friends a long time ago."
Zhou Shutong blinked and said in surprise: "You closed the circle of friends? Then you don't care about what your friends are doing?"
I shrugged and smiled nonchalantly: "Anyway, all my friends are
If you are not in the circle of friends and you are in a bad mood, you can go find me at home and we can play games to relieve stress! "
Zhou Shutong smiled: "That's too inappropriate to bother you and Lin Feifei."
"Why are you so polite! It's so late, go home and go to bed! Staying up late is not good for your skin."
Zhou Shutong disagreed: "It's okay, sister uses all good cosmetics. As the saying goes, everything is top quality."
"Do you know what the second half of the sentence is?"
"What?"
"Only the face is drooping."
"..."
Zhou Shutong couldn't help me, so he went home and went to sleep. Adults often collapse without warning. On the surface, they are lively and cheerful, but the vicissitudes of life in their hearts have accumulated to a certain extent.
Like Zhou Shutong's collapse tonight, I have been drifting in a big city more than once. Loneliness and high pressure make people want to escape. Every amount of money needs to be rationally calculated, and I don't have a house, a car, or children to support. But just thinking about it makes me feel suffocated.
After sending Zhou Shutong home, I felt no sleepiness at all. I opened a can of beer, drank a few gulps, and drank a lot.
After ten years of drifting, this city is rich and colorful, but I basically live a life of two points and one line. My youth is submerged in the bustling subway, over and over again.
I didn't go to bed until three in the morning. I was afraid of waking Lin Feifei, so I just spent the night in the living room. I don't know how long I slept, but I was woken up by the sound of her moving.
"Sorry for waking you up!"
When Lin Feifei saw me getting up sleepily, a look of apology suddenly appeared on her face.
I felt confused and smiled bitterly: "I've finished the ppt, and it's on your computer desktop."
"Thank you, Bao'er!"
After that, she took the initiative to give him a sweet kiss.
"I'm going to work first. You can go back to sleep. I can just take a taxi and go."
She gave me a hug, packed her things, and left.
After Lin Feifei went out, I lay down and went back to sleep, but not long after I slept, I was woken up by a phone call...
