This is a letter written to you. I originally planned to write it again when I have completed the masterpiece.
But by chance, I saw another question about sincerity on Zhihu today, so I wrote this letter in advance.
Forgive me for not having time to rephrase it, so I only copied the original answer from Zhihu. Because if I don’t write it, the update the day after tomorrow will be in danger...
But please believe that I really mean it.
————
The question is [one year has passed, how can we fairly evaluate the work "Sky Hearts"? 】
The full text of my answer is as follows:
Thank you for your concern and love for me.
But I didn't want to answer this question. There are three reasons.
First of all, I really can't objectively evaluate my works. I prefer every word I write. My evaluation of my own work does not have any objective value. If I really want to say it, it’s still the same sentence I said a year ago - [The only thing I can be sure of is that I will type every word with my heart, and I can’t be sure whether they will be loved. I can determine my efforts, but I cannot determine my gains. 】
To this day, I'm still not sure whether it will be loved by more people, or my reward.
But I think that I have used 1.8 million words in one year to prove my dedication and hard work.
Secondly, I am afraid of such problems. Needless to say, I was really scared. When I was invited to answer the question of "Surveying the Sky with a Heart" a year ago, I had just written five chapters, and the three answers to the question were all exaggerations.
I felt guilty, so I quickly put it down and wrote an article with sincerity. However, I didn’t expect that after I posted the article, I discovered that when I wrote the article, there were already a lot of criticisms.
What impressed me deeply were [I will lose if I can sign this article] [This is the level of my son’s elementary school. 】【Only fancy writing, no ability to write stories at all】, and some taught me how to use punctuation marks step by step.
I have been writing for a few years, and to be honest, I have never accepted such "criticism". I was out of place and in pain. This pain lasted for a long time, and I couldn't sleep for a while, just thinking, am I really that bad? Are all the praises and recognition I have received fake?
I have always firmly believed in myself, but that painful experience was also true.
Third, I write very slowly. Readers of Chai Chixin all know that the most popular comment about a chapter is always "very short"... When I wrote about entities in the past, I basically wrote them after I had a feeling for them. Maybe I only write three or four days a week, 2,000 words a day.
After I wrote "The Heart of the Sky", I started with two updates from Monday to Friday and only one update on weekends. Later, it gradually became two updates and 4,000 words a day. Although it is also at the bottom of the list among online writers, I actually feel that it is extremely squeezing my energy.
I can explain to readers here why writing is so slow.
When I write, I usually have to enter that situation and place myself in that emotion, so that I can write the plot more smoothly. I usually have to sit in front of the computer for more than half an hour, running through various plots in my mind until I find the one that I think is most suitable. After writing a paragraph, you will feel like your mind has been hollowed out.
The second thing is that I have obsessive-compulsive disorder about writing. Not only can I not see typos, readers who are diligent in searching the sky may be able to spot them. Basically, the same word does not appear in my two adjacent sentences. This is a sequelae of writing poetry. I think it will affect the sense of language. If you use it in the previous sentence, you have to think of different words for the next sentence.
I often struggle with a name for a long time. The names of people and places always try to fit the situation.
I also have my own paranoid requirements. In the world of "Chixin Xantian", not only every country and every sect has a different system, different national conditions, and politics. In this book, even every city is different. I will compile their history, customs, Special snacks, even if you don’t need them sometimes. The reason why I write this is because in the real world, every city is different.
Because of these bad habits, I write very slowly.
In the time it takes me to write an article, I may be able to refine a chapter. (My daily writing is to write two chapters and refine the two chapters from the day before yesterday.)
My hundreds of thousands of followers on Zhihu should have noticed that during the year I wrote about the Sky Survey, I almost completely quit Zhihu. Sometimes I want to write something, but when I think about it, I haven’t finished it yet. I can only close Zhihu in despair.
Because of the above three reasons, I had ignored this question invitation.
But after seeing @gongsunxun’s answer, I think I should write something.
Gongsun Xun is someone I follow on Zhihu, because I like his "Overthrow of the Han" very much, and he has a rare heroic spirit.
Going back to the question itself, how can we fairly evaluate "Sky Heart Patrol"?
I think the assessment I can make is -
It is a work that I have put a lot of effort into. It is an explanation of my dream of being a fairy. It has witnessed my strength and fragility, made me softer, and made me stronger.
As for how this work is going to be, I think we can only give it time.
You might as well look at it again in ten years.
What I want to say is that I have been writing Chixinxiantian till now because I didn’t understand the rules of online writing at first and I didn’t know how to get a new book issue. It's on Naked.com. The only big recommendation so far, it's only free for one million words. At that time, it happened to be free for the whole site...
Except for a leader reader of Qing Sui who helped me py with Qing Sui, I don’t have any other py. Readers keep saying, Ah Shi, go py, good books need to be promoted, but I am really socially incompetent.
What I am good at and passionate about is probably writing.
It can be written step by step from sixty to now, with six alliance leaders (two of whom have rewarded three alliances), and the monthly ticket can finally hover around the starting point of two hundred.
What I want to thank most is my readers.
I will never forget that Uriel rewarded me for my first alliance leader amidst the scolding. He made me strengthen my confidence in myself.
I would like to thank the leader Huahua, as a female video author and a big boss who buys a house with her royalties, for giving me a lot of guidance on online writing.
I would like to thank Chen Zeqing for watching True Heart throughout the whole process while studying in the United States. I was asked once if I could add one more to ten thousand, but I didn’t dare to respond. I really couldn’t add it.
I want to thank Chai Chai. He has a bad temper, but he listens to the truth. I rewarded the alliance leader myself and also brought Manxi to me.
I want to thank Manxi, a living dictionary of plots. Every time the readers have some setting or plot that they don’t remember, he can blurt it out. I have to read some of the settings myself...Thank you Manxi for putting the most energy into the book "Red Heart Patrolling the Sky".
Besides his girlfriend, that’s me.
I want to thank Shancha, who was the reader who followed me when I was writing short stories. It’s no longer just one or two years, but the entire college years. After it was put on the shelves, I built a building to seek alliance. I didn't expect that Chixin was so unpopular... It took so long to build a thousand buildings.
As I write this, I seem to have completely strayed from the original question.
But it seems not. A fair assessment is that the book "Surveying the Sky with a Heart" is just my persistence and it is difficult to write it till now. It is the support and love of so many readers that keep me firm.
I still remember the tip a reader gave me.
He said he was sorry, he had no money, the book was very interesting, but he could only give a reward of five yuan.
He had a four-yuan meal, but gave me a five-yuan reward.
(There is a screenshot here, you should be able to find it in the high-quality posts in the book review area.)
When I saw that book review, my eyes were sore.
I told my mother, how much he loves this book, how could I stop writing it?
How could I stop writing?
I want to thank so many people, thank you to the readers who have followed the online article since the beginning, thank you to the readers who silently vote for me every day, thank you to the readers who praise me every day, thank you to the readers who seriously help me recommend this book to my friends... …
I remembered again.
Not long after the serialization of "Red Heart". I lost my hair, was anxious, couldn't sleep all night, and was suffering.
Some readers said, Come on, Ashe, sooner or later you will step on those sunspots under your feet.
A few days ago, another reader said this.
But my answer never changed.
I said, I wrote "My Heart to the Sky" not to defeat anyone or to prove to anyone.
At first, I just wanted to write a long novel completely and unfetteredly, about the real world in my mind. As I said in the introduction, this is the world of fairy tales where love is so extreme. You are welcome to come.
I still do.
I don't want to knock anyone down.
Resentment won't get me far.
What has supported me from the beginning to now and will continue to move into the future is the love you have given me.
Thanks again.
[Unchanged in the evening update]
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