The smell of blood seemed to still linger in his nose, and Xu Nanxing felt waves of vomiting in his chest, as if the scene of that day had happened as soon as he closed his eyes. She never imagined that her mother would leave her in such a decisive way.
It wasn't until I took care of the funeral and went home to collect my mother's belongings that I discovered the suicide note left by my mother in the closet.
It turns out that her mother already knew that her time was running out and didn't want to drag them down anymore.
But Xu Nanxing knew that if it hadn't been for him, his mother would not have left so decisively.
No one could know the guilt and suffering in her heart. It was the irreparable regret and pain that she had done wrong. Such tangled emotions tortured her day and night.
During the days when her mother had just passed away, she often looked out the window at the lights of thousands of houses and recalled her childhood, as if the family had been shrouded in suffering since she was born.
Her birth was accompanied by the death of her father and the physical disability of her sister;
When she returned to Jingzhou, her mother fell ill.
Now her mother left her and her sister early because of a thought...
She cried and asked herself whether it was her survival that was the misfortune of this family.
She closed her eyes and wanted to jump down and be done with it. The thought circled in her heart countless times until she finally made up her mind, but was stopped by her sister's cry. She turned back in a hurry and saw her sister's desperate eyes...
Xu Nanxing didn't know how he got through such a sad day now when he thinks about it. My sister often says that she is optimistic by nature, maybe, otherwise, other people may not be able to face what happened in the past.
She sniffed, trying to push away the unbearable memories from her mind.
Life in the first twenty years was really hard. From now on, she only wants sweetness.
The water in the bathtub gurgled out, and she pulled away from the memories, took off her wet clothes and stepped in. The warm water wrapped around her body, and she felt like she was alive.
The scalded arm stung again when it touched the hot water. She remembered Gu Huai Zhilin's instructions before going out, and she was slightly in a trance.
In fact, except for the initial relationship, Gu Huaizhi was a relatively gentle person to her.
On those days when Gu Yufei came home late from class, she would always accidentally meet him going out, which happened to be somewhere near her home.
During class, she always had to help Yu Fei correct her fingering techniques from time to time, bending down and lowering her head. She was actually very tired after class, especially during those days during her menstrual period when she came out of class and felt like her waist was about to break. But after taking a few lessons, I went back and found that Yufei’s piano bench had been replaced by a double one, and even the piano had been replaced by a Zhujiang one.
That was just her favorite piano brand she mentioned casually while chatting with Yufei during class breaks.
Each of these little things that happened inadvertently seemed to step on her heart, and each time they happened, it made her even more unable to restrain her desire for him.
In fact, everything that happened that night was not entirely because of the deal with Shen Ruzhen. She once asked herself, would she have been so proactive if the incident with Shen Ruzhen hadn't happened?
The answer is yes.
It was a long-standing desire for Gu Huaizhi, and it was the original impulse to feel that the person he liked also liked him.
Therefore, what Gu Huaizhi said was correct, and she had selfish motives.
That's why she felt so guilty after her mother's accident.
Tears welled up again.
She is selfish, she wants love and family affection, but all the good things in this world will not come in pairs.
She is too greedy.
Therefore, God took away her mother and her love.
Xu Nanxing lowered his head and looked at the water surface close at hand, thinking that if he just sank like this, would he not have to think about anything, would he not have to live so hard?
Did your mother think so when she left?
At this moment, she wanted to know what people were thinking about when they were dying.
The tip of her nose was rippling in the water, and water was flowing on her face. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to sink slowly. The warm water poured from her nose into her mouth, and then quickly flowed into her chest. She was so suffocated that she felt like she was going to explode. Her consciousness gradually became blurry, and she heard someone calling her name outside the door.
It's Gu Huaizhi.
She wanted to sit up but had no strength.
There is no fear in my mind, but I really want to laugh. I am laughing that I must be the first person who wants to experience the feeling of suicide but is killed. I wonder if this will make him unhappy again.
Before she lost consciousness, she heard him yelling through gritted teeth,
"Xu Nanxing!"
The moment Gu Huaizhi opened the bathroom door, his heart tightened.
The person who just beat and scolded him like a shrew made no sound in the bathtub. He called her name, but no one responded. There was only the occasional sound of bubbles floating on the water in the bathtub, and her clothes were scattered on the edge of the bathtub.
He rushed over in a few steps and fished her out of the water, and hit her hard on the back. A stream of water flowed from the corner of her mouth, but she still didn't respond. Her porcelain white body leaned against him limply.
He pulled the towel aside and put it on the ground, laid her down, and folded his hands on her chest to perform CPR. During the interval, he stretched out his hand to check for the pulse in her neck. It was weak and small. He lowered his head and sealed her lips to perform artificial respiration. Then he continued CPR, going back and forth for an unknown amount of time. The person under him finally tilted his head and exhaled again. Water, and then a small sound overflowed from her mouth,
"pain……"
When Gu Huaizhi heard her cry out in distress, his anger rose, and he cursed in a low voice.
The sweat on his forehead flowed down his cheeks to his collar. He put his hand on the side of Xu Nanxing's neck. The pulse there was no longer as weak as before. Then he got up and went to the cabinet to find another bath towel.
He came back, wrapped Xu Nanxing tightly and carried him out of the bathroom.
Xu Nanxing vomited some more saliva during the bumps, and spit it all on Gu Huaizhi's chest. She was worried that he would be angry, so she glanced at him carefully, but saw that he did not show any impatience.
After placing the person on the bed, Gu Huaizhi took the phone and went to the balcony.
Xu Nanxing huddled on the bed, her chest felt painful as if someone had beaten her, her hair was wet and stuck to her back, and she felt indescribably uncomfortable. She sat up, looked worriedly at the pillow that was wet by her, lifted up the quilt and got down to the ground.
As soon as his feet touched the ground, he was frightened by a scolding and shrank back.
"Do you want to die?"
Looking up, she saw Gu Huaizhi striding towards her with a gloomy face.
She lowered her head and did not dare to say anything. Water dripped from the tips of her hair, and the air conditioner was turned on in the room, which was just adding insult to injury for her at this moment.
She shivered.
Gu Huaizhi glanced at her, turned around and left again.
Xu Nanxing thought that he had really made a mistake tonight. He had thought well when he came, but everything changed when he saw Gu Huaizhi.
Why……
She sighed deeply in her heart, it was really unpleasant to have such a single-minded temperament.
Footsteps sounded again, and she looked over to see Gu Huaizhi coming back with a hair dryer in his hand.
"Sit down."
Xu Nanxing sat down obediently, with the warm and dry wind falling on his head, making him feel warm after a while.
She wanted to say something, but when she opened her mouth, she realized that her voice was hoarse, "I didn't mean it."
Gu Huaizhi didn't respond at all. He ran his fingers through her hair and concentrated on blow-drying her hair.
Xu Nanxing's eyes passed over his chest. It was wet there. In addition to the water stains, there should also be something she had just vomited. The fabric on his chest had already smeared down to his waist and stuck to his body, revealing the faint inside. color.
She thought, how could a person with his temper endure it? She must be extremely disgusted in her heart.
The wind above the head stopped, and Gu Huaizhi's low voice sounded,
"what did you just say?"
Xu Nanxing looked up at him and whispered, "I slipped in accidentally."
After saying that, she saw the back of his hand which was still red and swollen. It was probably because of the rescue measures she had taken for the temporary situation she had just encountered. At this moment, a bright blister had formed there. She reached out her hand from the hem of the bath towel and wanted to touch it, but was stopped. Gu Huaizhi dodged.
Xu Nanxing retracted his hand in a nonchalant manner, thinking that he would ignore her, but she heard him say,
"I know."
Gu Huaizhi tugged on his collar, sat on the low couch opposite Xu Nanxing, and said as if explaining to her, "You are not a weak-minded person. It is impossible that you can't think about it just because of a few words of mine."
"So," Gu Huaizhi frowned and asked, "I'm very curious. If I didn't notice anything unusual about you just now, how would you save yourself?"
"I……"
Gu Huaizhi's words stopped her. When she just sank, she really wanted to know what people would think at the moment of death and what would come to mind. But when the water poured into her body, her survival instinct scared her, but her scattered consciousness could no longer mobilize her body to make any remedies. She was powerless and could only struggle in vain.
If Gu Huaizhi hadn't discovered her at that time, she would probably have become a fool due to lack of oxygen in her brain even if she didn't die inside.
"What? You were sure that I would go in to find you, so that's why you did that?" Gu Huaizhi's eyebrows gradually frowned, "Do you think that if you do this, I will be soft-hearted and feel guilty that I am too cold to you?"
Xu Nanxing looked away, not daring to look into his eyes.
Gu Huaizhi was right. She was thinking the same thing when she sank. She wanted to know if Gu Huaizhi would be soft-hearted if he saw her like this, and if he would be a little bit scared.
Afraid of losing her.
From this point of view, he was really brave. He almost tried to kill himself by not saying anything. The look on Gu Huaizhi's face probably made him unhappy again.
She didn't forget what she was here for tonight.
After taking a look at Gu Huaizhi's face, she softened her expression and said in a hoarse voice, "You are right, I just want to know if you will be soft-hearted and if you will save me."
Gu Huaizhi narrowed his eyes and looked at Xu Nanxing through the warm light.
After a few seconds of silence, he chuckled and said to Xu Nanxing, "You are not such a person! Okay, stop beating around the bush. Tell me, what do you want to do when you come to me tonight?"
After saying that, he glanced sideways at the wall clock and said, "I have just contacted the family doctor to come and check you out. You still have half an hour before he comes."
"This time, I want to listen to the truth! Otherwise, I will throw you out of Nanshan Villa immediately!"
