Whether a person is beautiful or not is rarely controversial.
Because the standard for defining beauty and ugliness among humans is relatively not that big of a difference.
Whether a script is good or not is highly controversial.
People who like it feel that there is only one in the world, and if they try hard to find it, they can always find what they like and then blow it up!
People who don't like it think it's a piece of shit. If they want to find faults, they can always find some, which makes the author jump in anger.
The point is, this thing varies greatly from person to person.
Everyone has his or her own set of criteria for judging, and they don’t quite recognize other people’s criteria for judging.
Alan's script format is quite standard, and it seems that he put a lot of effort into it. Ni Bingyan has no language problems, and it seems to be very fast.
The story is very simple, a little boy misses his father, a story about love and peace.
Mom always takes Adrian to the bank to withdraw money. Every time she withdraws money, she will tell him that dad works hard in a distant place and it is really hard to support us!
Adrian was still held in his mother's arms when he appeared. Slowly, he began to learn to walk. Later, he grew to be as tall as his mother's shoulders.
He always asked, why doesn't dad come back?
His mother would make various excuses and tell him that there were various difficulties at home and his father had to work so hard to support the family.
At first he believed it and was proud of his father. He often promised his mother that he would become like his father when he grew up and would work hard for the happiness of his family.
Every time, his mother looked at him with tears in her eyes, nodded and said yes.
When Adrian grows up, he is no longer so easy to deal with, and starts to know how to think, and he will ask his mother:
"What does dad do? Why doesn't he work in our city?"
His mother told him that his father worked on a ship and traveled around the world every day.
He believed it at first, until he heard a classmate say that her father was finally going to take another vacation. Her father was a sailor.
Adrian felt very uneasy. On his birthday, he found his mother again and persistently asked his father why he didn't take a vacation?
He kept asking for an answer, and it wasn't until he grew into a big boy that his mother told him:
"Dear Adrian, you are older now, and I have to tell you that your father died in the war when you were one year old. Every time your mother takes you to the bank, she is collecting pensions from the government. Kim, they will raise you in place of daddy until you are an adult.”
Although he had an ominous premonition, Adrian still burst into tears after hearing the news.
He covered his face, and in the afterglow of the setting sun, ran along the stone-paved alleys of the seaside town, panting, to the door of the bank.
He was going to ask the people in the bank whether it was the pension his mother had brought him to withdraw over the years, or the money his father had mailed back from afar.
But when he reached the bank door, he didn't dare to go in.
The ending of the story is open-ended. The last scene shows Adrian standing at the door of the bank, and the night slowly engulfs him.
After Ni Bingyan thought carefully, he praised: "The intention is very good. War will destroy peace, destroy ordinary families, and make every child lose his father..."
Alan's eyes were obviously happy, and then he looked at her with an encouraging expression, hoping that she would say more.
"A happy childhood can warm a lifetime, but an unfortunate childhood takes a lifetime to heal. I think the last scene is really great. If it were in the movie theater, it would definitely be very tearful."
"Yes! In my imagination, this scene is where the entire short film is sublimated. It leaves a lot of room for imagination and is very visually impactful."
"You can choose a beautiful seaside town to shoot. The sunset has a special atmosphere. The beautiful picture can add a lot of points."
"Yes, yes! I think so too!"
After Ni Bingyan read the script, his biggest feeling was that the story line was too simple and there were too few characters. It was a bit thin to support a complete movie.
Something had to be filled in, but she couldn't say "I think...".
When the author seems to be humble and asks for other people's opinions, he usually has only one purpose, and that is to prove that his idea is right, rather than really wanting to hear someone else's idea.
Ni Bingyan began to discuss the plot with him from the beginning and guided him to repeatedly think about various details in the script.
"What kind of job does Adrian's mother do? Is it easy or hard? Are there any elderly people at home? Is her burden heavy? Is the money she goes to the bank to withdraw every month important to her family? "
Alan was a little confused at first: "I never thought about this problem."
"That's really a pity. When I imagine the role of mother, it's difficult to have a three-dimensional character in my mind."
"It should be much better to add some profiles."
Alan took another laptop and opened it, and began to perfect his ideas.
He is a meticulous person who can endure loneliness. When it comes to jewelry, he can polish it meticulously for a week, and when it comes to scripts, he can ponder it over and over again for a long time.
It was rare to find a friend with good taste to discuss with him, and he thought it was good.
"How can Adrian's father be more three-dimensional? If his presence could be stronger, it would definitely be more tear-jerking when the truth is told by his mother."
"Perhaps I can try to deepen the portrayal of the war? The father's identity can also be more specific. War is too cruel, no one likes war..."
Seeing Alan enter the state and start making changes while holding his notebook, Ni Bingyan also opened a document and recorded his thoughts.
For example, was Adrian raised in an environment where he was bullied by other children? When other children went on trips, did he go? Does he feel envious when other children hold his father's hand and walk on the road?
[He unknowingly followed his classmate Amon and his father, watching them holding hands as they gradually walked away. He stood on the street looking around blankly, not knowing where to go. ]
This story is really great. Now that Alan is busy and Ni Bingyan has nothing to do, he wrote down some of his thoughts, hoping to bring some inspiration to Alan.
[My mother followed him all the time. When he turned around and walked home in despair, he saw his mother holding tears in her eyes, standing next to a bunch of roses that represented longing, looking at him tenderly, and waving gently to him. . When he came to the side, he gently touched his head and said, "Why is it so late? It took me a long time to find him." ]
Ni Bingyan was stung by the imaginary picture, and tears appeared in her eyes unconsciously.
When she was young, she imagined countless times that her mother would secretly look at her on the way home from school. When she found out, she would smile at her tenderly:
"Classmate, are you lost? Why don't you go home?"
Alan was very excited about rewriting the script. When he saw her lowering her head to wipe her tears, he couldn't help but feel happy. He felt that his script was successful, but at the same time he was a little embarrassed.
"Hey, I thought it was pretty good before. But when you told me, I feel like there are still a lot of things that can be improved. This is a big project. I have to wait for you to leave before slowly revising it. You have to mention it to me later. Opinion."
"Sorry, I was just moved by the imaginary picture. You are really great, Alan. You can write such a good script. You are a born screenwriter! I look forward to the final product and see it at the film festival. , Really, I even thought for a moment that if it was made into an animated short film, it could definitely apply for an Oscar!"
"Oh! Oh! Oh my god! To keep calm, I think we should go eat now. I have to have a nice chat with you later!"
"No problem! It's a pleasure to witness you unlock your new identity, screenwriter Mr. Alan."
Alan was so excited by what she said that he covered his heart in an exaggerated manner: "Oh my God, next time someone tells me that Oriental people are very reserved, I will strangle him to death!"
Ni Bingyan waved his hand: "I'm just telling the truth. This story touches me very much in detail, even if you haven't really finished it yet."
Can Alan say that he has revised it eighty times and this is the final draft?
No, of course not!
He feels that he still has room for improvement that he has not discovered yet!
