February 18th, it is now 9:48 in the evening, I am sitting on the steps in front of the gate and writing.
There is nothing to say about three meals a day. Today is the last day of the big banquet, and the dishes are still the same.
In the past two days, I have become less and less interested in writing a diary. I can’t say I don’t want to write, but it’s hard to write anything.
It’s different from how I wrote my diary in the past. I used to be able to write with a normal mind. But it’s been so noisy outside these two days that it’s hard to calm down.
The ancients said: Don't be happy with things, don't be sad with yourself. I can't do it. My emotions will be affected by the external environment.
When there are more people, there will be more things, and there will always be some irrelevant things popping up.
The feeling of being pushed forward, as if I had become a part of a big machine, running over and over again. This feeling is very strong.
I didn’t think there was anything weird about it before. I still remember that in 2017, I just graduated and went to work in an electronics factory. At that time, I didn’t think there was anything weird about it. I just thought that the assembly line suited me well, so I just followed the standards without thinking. Driving screws, repeat, repeat, repeat every day.
But now I see it, it is really unbearable, it is a complete waste of time and energy, and in the long run, the reward is not enough to cause permanent damage to the body. It is completely exchanging lives for money.
Not to mention this, I have recently developed an ulcer in my mouth. I think it’s because the food has been too spicy recently.
Oral ulcers are really hard to deal with! I can't eat anything and get ulcers almost every one or two weeks.
The meal started at eight o'clock in the morning, and there were ten people at the table. When the food was served, the water from the food was almost spilled on my second uncle. Although it was not actually spilled on him, I was quite embarrassed.
When I served the dishes again, I was very careful to avoid people. I corrected my mistakes when I knew they were wrong, and I never did anything good.
I didn’t expect it to be very particular when serving braised fish. The fish head had to be pointed towards the oldest person in the family. The fish head I put was towards my second aunt, so she quickly pushed the fish head aside.
I feel like there’s really no need to pay attention to anything with this thing, it’s pure formalism.
I didn't eat much at the last table. After all, I had these dishes for two days in a row and I didn't want to eat them again.
In the end, there were so many dishes left, and they were all packaged. We couldn’t let them go to waste.
When I have free time, I just think about sleeping. I really want to have a good sleep, so I just sleep there. I don’t play with my mobile phone, watch TV, or read. I just sleep. When I wake up, I eat, eat. After dinner, go to sleep.
At around three o'clock in the afternoon, the funeral was finally coming to an end. Unexpectedly, the host's family not only invited a wailer, but also a lion dance team. The lion dancers were four relatively young people. It was probably my first time to participate. This kind of joy and sorrow, the expression is quite confusing.
They danced the lion and circled around the coffin, and the weeping substitute also circled the coffin. They circled the coffin for two or three times and then stopped to burn a piece of yellow paper. They sang, cried and circled at the same time. They repeated this for seven or eight minutes.
The job of crying on behalf of others is not something that ordinary people can do. At the very least, if you let me cry, I really can't cry. What's more, you have to cry and sing at the same time. With my tone-deaf voice, it would really kill me.
The final process of joy and mourning is carried out one by one, and firecrackers and fireworks are set off non-stop. With the last suona sound, everything returns to its normal state.
Oh, by the way, one more thing, her husband's coffin was also dug out and buried together.
Her boss passed away thirty-eight years ago. It is said that he was not cremated. People said that there were only bones left in the coffin. Of course, this is not the point.
We took the paper figurines, paper refrigerators, paper TVs and other stuff to the cemetery, and suddenly noticed that there was a Filipino maid printed on the window of the paper villa. This really made me feel confused. Nowadays, funeral supplies are like this too. Internationalized?
The small villa is still European-style. Later I took a photo of this thing and posted it in the group. Someone with knowledge said that this thing is quite expensive. A set costs 70 or 80 yuan.
I feel that the cost of this thing is only a few yuan. This money is really easy to make. This dead man's money is really easy to make.
When I got home and lay on my bed, I felt that everything was finally over. The sound of trumpets was gone, the sound of cannons was gone, and the large mat tents outside had been removed. Our village had returned to its usual quiet state, but one more old man was missing.
The only young people in the village are me and my cousin. He is one year older than me.
It was also the banquet that allowed so many young people to gather in the village. I heated up the packed banquet dishes in the evening. Unexpectedly, after heating, there was a smell of alcohol in it. It was better now. I felt sleepy after eating. Just fell asleep.
