"The emptiness beats the will, as if time has stopped..."
When the phone rang in the empty villa, I was stunned when I originally planned to come back and change clothes.
The silent TV was playing advertisements in the living room, and a hand holding a remote control could be seen on the edge of the sofa. The moment I stretched my hand to my lower back, holding the handle of the gun in the holster and walking slowly over, I saw it. Boureat, wearing a green military uniform, was riding on a sofa cushion and was lying there.
At that moment, I began to wonder if there was something wrong with my mind.
Because what I saw was not just Burea, but more like a child who was locked up at home and could only watch TV without his parents, looking at the TV with empty eyes.
I could clearly see that the child was not a human being, but rather similar to the 'soul' in the movie. It allowed you to clearly see his body while maintaining a transparent posture.
In fact, I seemed to see a kind of barrier around the 'child', and the barrier was covered with talismans that read 'loneliness'.
Shouldn't I be the one to inherit Lao Qiao's mantle?
I was ready to accept it all, good or bad, but why did Boureat take away this iconic state?
"elder brother?"
He didn't even move when he was lying on the sofa. He recognized me just by the sound of his footsteps, but when I saw the hand holding the remote control, I didn't know who it was.
"sick?"
I reached out and touched his forehead. After feeling the most normal and not hot body temperature, I took my hand away.
"No." Burea didn't stop me and didn't get up. He still lay down and responded: "I'm just sleeping, there's no point in doing anything."
"Going to prison?"
I thought that Burea was a cheap person and went to the black prison again, and was beaten by Teacher Yu.
After all, people of their generation don't like to lick dogs. Women always keep asking for a sense of "boundary" to people they don't like, but they can't wait to have negative distance contact with people like "Sicong" and "Afen". Bloom and bear fruit again.
"No."
He sat up: "I just..."
"Don't know what to do."
Boureia didn't smoke. He was alone in the dark room full of sunshine. It seemed that the whole world could see the sadness, but he himself felt nothing.
Especially like a buddy of mine who worked on a construction site before I went abroad. He works exhaustingly every day. What he hopes most is that after nightfall, his wife and children will make a video call to him. As a result, the request for divorce and the reasons for staying together less and leaving more came.
At that time, he would always tell everyone he was fine that he was fine.
I would look at the night sky again at night, and I would be stunned for most of the night. Once when I was living in a shed at a construction site, I went out to pee at dawn and saw him sitting there.
But Brea's body is not just the sequelae of broken love.
"In the past, when I was young, Lao Qiao watched me train every day. Others used only one magazine for target practice. I had ten, and if my grades were not good enough, I had to practice more. Lao Qiao was standing behind me, holding a wicker in his hand, and he whipped my back. My back is all bruised.”
"I hated him very much at the time and wished I could leave Lao Qiao so no one would care about me."
"Later on, no one cared about my training. I just stood behind Lao Qiao every day. He woke up at six o'clock, so I had to get up at five o'clock. He went to bed at nine o'clock, and I had to hear the snoring before lying down."
"I couldn't sleep at all at that time, and I wanted to run for a while. Later, whenever I couldn't sleep, I would train like crazy, until I was sweating profusely, and until I was exhausted... The training I once hated the most became the antidote to insomnia."
I slowly sat down on the single sofa next to me, resting my elbows on my knees and leaning forward to listen to his story.
"Then I'll get to know you."
"Those were the happiest days of my life!"
"I can play with women unscrupulously and sign bills at the casino in the park... I still owe hundreds of thousands to the casino, and no one dares to ask for it from me, hahahaha..."
I also laughed. No matter how hard the casino manager presses, he can't ask you for payment.
Burea's smile instantly disappeared from his face: "But I didn't expect to get these results that others dream of in advance. I completely lost interest in life."
"Brother, do you still remember the time when I left Menneng?"
I nodded and said 'hmm'.
"Not only am I in the village, I sometimes come back secretly."
"Ah?" I turned my head and looked at him in surprise.
Bujea explained eagerly: "I have nowhere to go... and I want to eat the food cooked by Eminem... and listen to her nagging..."
"Eminem is not Lao Qiao. Lao Qiao usually doesn't talk. Eminem will talk endlessly when she sees me, but I understand that what she wants most is for you to come back. I am just a substitute." He lowered his head: "Then I will too willing."
What he wants is not nagging, but the warmth of home.
Just the silence that followed replaced everything.
I understood that he wanted to say something about the teacher. He wanted to say that after returning to Meng Neng with a legitimate name, the 'warmth' that could only be secretly felt from my mother was replaced by this woman;
He also wanted to say that the pain a man feels after a breakup is not the overwhelming depression that forces you to have a drink, but the feeling of despair that only appears when you are alone, like a sneak attacker. Figures that shouldn't appear keep appearing, causing you to feel a lot of pain.
"Brat."
I scolded him.
I don’t know why, but since I got to where I am today, the dirty words I used to say rarely appear in my mouth anymore, except when I’m emotionally charged.
"Once you pass this level, you will be a man from now on."
Bujea said incomprehensively: "Have I not been a man for a long time?"
"It's a long way off."
I counted on my fingers: "Man, how can you be good at establishing a family, going through all kinds of difficulties and dangers, having your teeth knocked out and swallowed when you fail, and being able to spit even when you are just here?"
Brea immediately responded: "I can gallop on the battlefield!"
"That's youth."
"ah?"
I explained in detail: "That's youth."
"Those who want to gallop on the battlefield, if they don't count such nonsense as the military strength, armaments, military rations, and military morale of both sides, they only see the killing after cheering with drums, and only think about taking the general's head, and they all think about peace and harmony. Just like Huo Qubing, he sealed the wolf as Xu..."
"That's youth."
Bujea shook his head: "I don't understand."
"You don't need to understand, just live your life as simple as fire, just like now."
"Why?"
Burea looked at me incomprehensibly: "Brother, shouldn't you put all the people in your hands in various positions to support this stall?"
"you do not need."
He asked again: "Why?"
What appeared in my mind at this time were countless characters who had led the way in my unbearable life, including Huo Laosan, an old prisoner, and the last one turned out to be Lao Qiao!
At that second, I stretched out my hand towards Boureia, and patted his neck with pure male emotion. Like a real blood brother, I gave Burea a smile without making any move. answer.
It's like my life.
In my life, I could have surrendered to the darkness, but I have seen the sunshine.
"Let's go and find you something to do. If you keep being idle like this, you will be idle." (End of Chapter)
